4 months!

Ryder is officially four months old today!


And I have to say, I really love this age. At 4 months, babies can smile and interact with you and be totally cute and fun. Nothing perks me up faster than walking into Ryder's room when he's just woken up from a nap and watching him burst into that joyous, gummy smile just because I'm there. Seriously, who knew I could be so popular? And this time around, I know that this stage is fleeting, so I'm trying to soak it in and enjoy it as much as possible.


As if that weren't enough, I love that Ryder is still completely immobile. So I can set him down somewhere with the full confidence that he will be RIGHT THERE when I come back. I don't need to worry about him falling down the stairs, rolling off the changing table, or pulling heavy things off shelves and hurting himself. In fact, if I can keep his siblings from harassing him too much, he's usually pretty happy just laying on the floor kicking! It's a beautiful thing.


Seriously, what isn't to love about a 4-month-old?


This morning, I was feeding Ryder and (as he's prone to do whenever he's eating) he fell asleep . Suddenly he began giggling. In his sleep! What could possibly make a baby laugh in his sleep?!? It was hilarious. I keep whispering in his ear, "Stay this happy. Never turn into a grumpy toddler!"


Recently, he's also enjoyed sucking on his thumb. Bentley and Kendra were both binky addicts, so this is new ground for our family. But if it means I don't have to panic any time I forget and leave the house without a pacifier, I'm all for it!


I love my little Ryder.

Some Pictures

Here are some pictures from my parent's visit and Ryder's blessing. I have more on Craig's phone, but I haven't uploaded those yet, so this is not the end of this. But enjoy Round 1!

Nap time for Craig and the "big kids." If you look, it's pretty obvious that Kendra and Bentley are both faking it.
I think Craig may have actually been asleep, though...

Cousin Picture Time! Here they are, modeling the AWESOME Sue Sylvester Sweatsuits that my sister Leah gave them for Christmas. I love these!

They were all squinting from the sun, so we decided to make the best of it.

And out on the grass...

Grandma and Grandpa brought back adorable Hawaiian outfits for all the grandkids.
(Notice that they didn't get any clothes for their actual children!)

The cupcakes I made for Ryder's blessing. (Thank, Megan for this great idea!!!)

Ryder is buds with Grandpa

Ryder takes a nap on Grandma's shoulder

Meanwhile, Bentley's Batman costume is getting weirder and weirder...
(The shorts-over-the-pants look is what happens when you let him watch the 1960's TV show. I'm not sure why the Mickey Mouse ears got added to the mix, though.)

Bentley transforms mild-mannered "Daddy" into... Robin!!!

And I LOVE this picture.

And that's it for now!

The Reluctant Gardener

Last year I got sucked into gardening because of the kindness of my friend Anna. This year I've gotten sucked in again because my friend Laresa pointed out a really good deal on bulbs. I know, I know-- I should be planting edible stuff: it would be healthy, it would save us money, it would be so satisfying and all that. But these bulbs were so cheap! 160 bulbs for $11!!! AND shipping and handling was free! Who could resist? And in my defense-- with all the deer and groundhogs I've been seeing, I'm pretty sure that anything edible that I manage to grow will find its way into something else's stomach long before I ever harvest it...

So my bulbs arrived last week and I just finished planting them today. Well, I planted about 3/4s of them and made Craig do the rest. If all goes according to plan, I should end up with these flowers some day:

I say "some day" because I always thought bulbs needed to be planted in the fall. So I won't be surprised if these don't bloom until next spring. And that's okay. Just knowing it might happen makes me happy for now.

The funny thing about all this is that I've realized my approach to gardening is completely wrong. For example, I don't like wearing gloves. They annoy me. And I don't mind getting my hands dirty. So I usually just go at it bare handed. But. I hate the idea that I might accidentally plunge my hand into some bugs or worms or something. So I'm weirdly squeamish about my bare-handedness. I can't think of a happy middle ground there, though. (Suggestions?)

My friend Janine was a great gardener. She could spend hours "playing in the mud" as she called it and worked constantly to make both her front and back yards things of beauty and taste. She studied all the different variations of flowers and had very high standards for them: she wanted scented flowers (especially roses!) that would unfold, beautifully displaying each petal.

I have the feeling that Janine is horrified at the way I just chucked all my bulbs in the ground willy-nilly without even really remembering which ones were which, and all the while trying to not let my fingers go anywhere near the writhing earthworms I kept turning up. I love the idea of gardening, but I never seem to know what to do with the reality of it. In my mind, all I should have to do is go outside with a small shovel, dig up the dirt, turn it over, and plant those bulbs. How hard could it be? But reality hits me hard in the form of a rose of sharon bush that sends up a billion shoots all along our fence-line which are ridiculously hard to pull up. Add to that the odd stumps, oodles of weeds, a few plants I can't identify or don't know what to do with (like the wild strawberries?), the dead leaves still lying there since autumn, and-- don't forget!-- the bugs, and suddenly I feel completely helpless.

Maybe if I had a fresh yard that wasn't already frantically growing anything that fell its way I'd have a better idea what to do. But I don't think those are easy to come by, unless you happen to have a backhoe handy. Which I don't.

So I muddle along, hoping that maybe something I planted will grow, but not ever letting my expectations get to high. And hoping Janine will forgive me for whatever I just did to those poor bulbs.

Momness (from Kacy)

I already told you about this blog post about being a mom. The author, Kacy, wrote a follow-up post yesterday, which you can find here, and I liked that one, too.

So in addition to recommending that you read those blog posts, I'm also going to extend her question to all of you: what are some of your good bits of momness? I feel like I can use whatever you can give me!



Now I'm just being obnoxious and sharing this picture that my Mom took. It's one of the best pictures I've seen of myself in a long time. It's a rare thing these days when I actually manage to do my hair and apply makeup. And can smile for the camera without blinking! (Craig says I only like it because I'm backlit. Whatever!)

While my family was here and we had at least two major photo shoots, which I will be posting about soon. Consider yourself warned.

But enough about that. I really do want to hear what you have to say about momness. Even if you're not a mom, I'm sure you've observed something in your life and formed an opinion. Sock it to me!

It goes without saying that...

...the one day that I forget to bring an extra outfit to church for Ryder will also be the first time that he has a complete blowout at church, causing me to carry him around wearing nothing but a diaper and a receiving blanket. Naturally, this will also be the same day that I've got my parents, my in-laws, and two sisters with me at church, thus giving me yet another chance to show off my awesome mommy skills to all of my family!

The silver lining to it all was that at least I had decided to have Ryder's baby blessing take place at home after church, rather than in the church building immediately following our Sunday meetings. Having him be blessed naked would have been a little strange! The other silver lining was that I had been smart enough to save the outfit I wanted him blessed in, so it was still clean.

What a day.

And Bad Omens

Naturally, I post about how great life is, only to check facebook and see that a huge earthquake, followed by a 30 foot tsunami just hit Sendai, Japan, where I served my mission. My thoughts and prayers go out to all the lovely people I have known and served there.

Good Omens

This week, Ryder slept through the night three nights in a row, but then broke the cycle last night by being up twice. Ah, well. These things take time.

But I've had lots of good things happen already to me this morning and I wanted to share them with you: even though Ryder woke me up a bunch, Bentley & Kendra decided to let me sleep in. So that balanced everything out nicely. And then when I came down the stairs, four deer were wandering past our backyard! And as we watched them, the sun broke through the clouds for a moment and made everything sparkly and pretty. It was one of those moments that fades so quickly that you wish you had a photographic memory or something.

Then I settled down to check my emails and read this fantastic blog post. Go ahead and read it-- it's great. It will make you feel better about yourself.

And then I got up to get the kids more cereal and spotted five more deer slipping between my house and my neighbor's house, probably looking for the original four. Nine deer in one morning! They were beautiful to see. And they're also making me think there might not be much point in planting that garden that I still haven't gotten around to planting...! So now I can pretend that I'm not lazy, just practical!

And, as if this morning couldn't get any better, I'm thinking about the fact that my sister comes to see me tonight and will be joined tomorrow by my parents and another sister and her family. And it's Friday. Life is good.

Have a great weekend!



P.S. There's a book Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and it's hilarious. Check it out!

Mommy Tutorial, Part I

Quick note of explanation: Recently I've been forced to make some major changes in how I parent my children. (Does anyone else think the word "parent" makes for a weird verb?) And even though it's humiliating to admit some of the major flaws in my parenting technique, I am determined to blog about them. I am doing this mostly to help me remember these changes (and thus continue to implement them), and also just on the off-chance that this proves helpful to someone out there who reads this.

But who am I kidding? I'm sure all the rest of you are wonderful mothers. Really.

No, I'm writing this to keep me from making the same mistakes again.




A few weeks ago, I realized that my kids weren't very happy. I felt like no matter what fun thing I had planned for the day (in this case, preschool followed by a Valentine's Day party), Bentley was unhappy. And whiny. And no matter how many times I told Bentley (okay, yelled at him) to play nicely with his sister, the two couldn't seem to go five seconds without Kendra running to me crying, either because of emotional or physical pain. I had spent the entire day combating Bentley's whining and Kendra's crying and I was sick of it all. Why were my kids incapable of just being happy?

I talked with Craig about the problem. I thought about perhaps trying to get back to nap/rest times. I wondered if there was something wrong with my kids. And mostly I thought about how much they were driving me crazy. More and more I just wanted to sit holding Ryder (my good child. For now.) and just ignore the other two.

Craig went to sleep, and I started in on my nightly reading. Right now, for my scripture study time, I've been reading the talks from the last General Conference. So I began another talk. I don't actually remember what talk I was reading or what it was about, but as I read, I began very clearly to understand that the problems my kids were having were directly related to my own attitude. I had let myself believe that since I was almost always tired (which made me easily frustrated), I had a right to be tired and frustrated. By feeling this way, I was creating an environment where Bentley and Kendra did not feel particularly safe or loved, and their lack of security was showing in the crying and whining. As these thoughts hit me and I realized their import, I began scribbling down notes to myself on a piece of paper: no more yelling, no more acting annoyed with the kids; talk in a kind voice, pay more attention, give them more hugs, etc, etc, etc.

I propped the paper on my alarm clock so I would see it in the morning and remember. I read over my ideas each day that week, sometimes more than once. I worked really hard at following these new rules for myself, even when I was tired and frustrated and felt like I had all the justification in the world for being angry.

And it has been helping. My kids haven't suddenly turned into perfect angels. But I can see a difference. I can see a change in how they act during the day, in how they play together, and how they react to me-- even when I have to tell them no.

But perhaps more importantly, I am seeing a difference in myself, too. I'd been ending each day annoyed with my kids and wishing they would just leave me alone. But with my own change in attitude, I am beginning to truly enjoy them (and life) a lot more. It sounds so cheesy-- put on a happy face and everything will be better. But in this case, it really is making all the difference.

Who would have guessed?

From My Camera to Your Viewing Pleasure

Time for more pictures!

Kendra opens "Violet," a stuffed animal doggy that knows her name. She loves Violet.

See? I told you so!

First double-decker cake that I've ever made!

Fortunately for the cake, Kendra requested something I'm already good at drawing.


Bentley picked crocuses, while wearing his Batman cape. Classic.


Kendra also picks flowers for me.


I love these first signs of spring!


In case you weren't paying attention, Ryder is now 3 months old!


In our ward there's a lady who makes hooded towels for all the babies. I have now collected all three of her designs: a duck, a bunny, and a bear. I totally love these towels!!!

And now, for your laughs, two of the worst pictures I've managed to take with my new camera:

Ah, we're such a lovely family all the time! I'm not sure that these faces were even intentional (at least, I know Kendra was actually quite happy, the shutter just caught her at exactly the wrong time. I guess I'm not sure what mood Ryder was in). Whatever the case, they sure can make me laugh! I might send them in to Awkward Family Photos...

Random

Recently, my kids have been making me laugh. Well, they've also been making me want to tear out my hair, but more on that later (maybe). For this post, let's focus on the laughs:

-A few days ago, Bentley called Ryder his "Ryder-snacky-boy" because "he makes me want to eat him up!"

-As Bentley was climbing around on the couch, Kendra gave him an affectionate little spank and referred to her elder brother as a "bum-sticky-outy boy."

-This one isn't funny, but last night was another great night for sleeping: Ryder slept through the night, which meant that I got seven hours of completely uninterrupted sleep. It was amazing. And it made up for Saturday when every person in my family conspired against my sleeping and then I topped it off by having insomnia that night. So I think the universe owed me a good night's rest. And it delivered.

-Yesterday I put on Ratatouille for the kids while I showered. When I went to check on them, I found them wrapped up in a blanket. I asked if they were being snuggly together and they answered, "WE'RE BEING RATS!" Awesome. What every mother longs to hear!