Confirmation

After being very wishy-washy about the whole thing, yesterday I finally toured the hospital where I'm expected to have this baby.  It seemed like such a waste of a beautiful Sunday afternoon to drive all the way to Arlington and spend an hour looking around a place I have no intention of going to.  But since I had Ryder, my insurance has changed which hospital they use, so I'd never been to this one before.   And because the majority of home birth transports are non-emergency, it seemed like a good idea to at least know where the hospital is and what to expect if I end up having to go.   (If there is an emergency, I would be transferred via ambulance to the nearest hospital, Prince William, which is where I went after having Kendra.)  I will also admit that I was a little hesitant to go because I was worried that if the hospital was super nice, I would second-guess my decision to have a home birth. 

That turned out to not be a problem.

Now, in the hospital's defense, I started out already kind of annoyed with the whole situation.  I had to leave straight from church, I'd only had time to pack goldfish crackers to eat when I really should have made myself a full lunch, and as soon as I began driving Craig's car (which I hate doing-- it's so low to the ground and doesn't have power steering, so driving it when pregnant is difficult for me), I realized that Craig had left the tank nearly on empty.  Not a great start!  Then of course, I ran into traffic on I-66 (yup, even on a sunny Sunday afternoon!), so that made me late.  And it turns out that this particular hospital was designed as a maze, with two wings that don't line up in any reasonable way!  Luckily for me, a girl who looked like she was working as a candy striper (do they still have those?) showed up at the same time as me and graciously took me to the lobby.  Otherwise I would probably still be wandering around in the wrong wing, desperately asking Siri for help...

So, yes, bad start.

Eventually I caught up with the tour in one of the L & D rooms, and got there right in time to hear about their visitor policy.  Which was how I learned that because it's flu season, this hospital is currently not allowing more than two visitors at a time.  And they have to be 18 or older!  So my kids wouldn't be able to see me (or their new baby brother) the entire time I'm incarcerted lying in!  Which is exactly what I DON'T want.  Especially for Ryder, who just is too young to understand why his mommy would disappear for two or more days.

As the nurse explained the different laboring positions that will be available "after you get your epidural," I decided to raise my hand and ask: "How do most doctors feel about laboring on your hands and knees?"  At least she was honest, with a simple, "They don't like that."  She went on to explain that they had found that holding Mom's knees up to her face really opened up the pelvic floor and allowed her to push well.  Yup, I remember them doing that when I had Bentley.  It was awful.  It didn't work.  And I had to lay flat on my back.

Second sigh of relief that I'm not going to the hospital.

The rest of the tour was fairly uneventful.  Seeing the tiny babies in the nursery got me all excited.  Seeing the tiny rooms made me appreciate my own bedroom.  And there was no tub in the L&D room (just a small shower), so that also made me appreciate the bathroom situation at home.  All in all, I was so glad I'd gone just because now I am even more certain that a home birth is the way to go.


Trying to leave the hospital and discovering that some bozo had parked at an angle so close to my car that I couldn't even get to the driver's side without going all the way around and scaling a small ledge (38 weeks pregnant) and then could still barely open my door wide enough to get in (I'm not actually sure how I managed to squeeze through when the door could only open about six inches) was just the icing on the cake.  That person is lucky that I didn't key their car.  If I hadn't just taught a lesson on making good choices, I might have...

Overanalyzing Songs (Again)

I'm not super discriminating in what music I'll listen to.  And since the kids are around me pretty much all day long, this means that I also don't "protect" them from my music.  Don't get me wrong-- I'm not listening to anything terribly dirty or nasty.  (And when I listen to Eminem, I make sure it's the edited versions!)  But yesterday morning I was forced to admit that I might need to rethink this policy.

Kendra wanted me to play a song, and when she called it "The Train Song" I told her that I had no idea what she meant, and asked her to describe it more.  She immediately began singing, "You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me..."  She was referring to the song "Mean" by Taylor Swift.  I like that song, so I have no problem with Kendra knowing it.  But I was shocked by how well she knew those lyrics.  I don't think I could have quoted it verbatim like that!

So I need to be a little more careful, because apparently she didn't inherit the Bentley Family Curse of regularly screwing up song lyrics after all!

This means that songs like Bruno Mars' "Locked Out of Heaven," where he repeatedly sings that "Your sex takes me to paradise" is not going to be one that I'll be buying on iTunes any time soon.  My kids say enough cringe-worthy things without giving them ammo like that.

But not listening to this song is no sacrifice, anyway, because I hate it.  In the first place, I find the background "music" (dare I admit how curmudgeonly I am by referring to it as "noise"?) pretty annoying, so it was already off to a bad start by me.  But it's the phrasing of the offending line that really makes me grate my teeth.  Because I'm pretty sure that, grammatically speaking, "your sex" refers simply to this person's entire gender.  Which is a pretty dumb thing to sing about.  Sex with [a certain gender] brings you to paradise?  And you think this makes a love song? Come on, Bruno, it really ought to be "sex with you" or something a tad more specific, okay?  No girl wants a song dedicated to her to actually be about her entire gender.  That's just embarrassing.

And while I'm griping about Bruno Mars, I'm just gonna throw in these last two thoughts.  And keep in mind that I quite like Bruno Mars (who I saw perform when we were in New York a couple summers ago!), so I don't mean to sound as nasty as I'll probably come across.  But what is the deal with "It Will Rain" and "Grenade"????  I like these songs.  I think they're catchy.  I listen to them and sing along with them (well, I probably mess up the lyrics, but maybe some day Kendra will teach me the real words).  But if you pay attention to those lyrics, they are some of the most pathetic songs ever written!  I mean, can you think of a worse way to get a girl to stay with you than by telling her how miserable you'll be if she leaves and pointing out how much her parents hate you?  Seriously!  Even if they'd been really happy together, I think that song would kill it!

And "Grenade."  Do you really think that telling a girl how you would do everything imaginable for her but she won't do the same for you is really going to fix this terribly lopsided relationship?  Because I can promise you that it won't.  In fact, I'm pretty sure she already broke up with you, moved out, and probably burned all your photos.  So it's time to move on and stop dragging that piano all over town for what was ended a few months ago.  Let her go, man.  Just let her go.

And this is what I spend my time thinking about, rather than choosing a middle name for my next child.  Or planning birthday parties for the children I already have.  Or doing a thousand other more productive things with my life that I see you people doing all the time.

But really, you see my point, don't you?

Pictures of Stuff We've Been Doing

I feel like we've been really busy, but it's sometimes hard to pin down what exactly we've been up to.  Nothing terribly exciting, but all very lifey stuff that I certainly don't want to forget.  So here are some pictures to show you...


Ryder has been adjusting (very slowly, and with very unpredictable success) to his big boy bed in the same room with Bentley and Kendra:

He loves the idea of the bed, it's just hard to stay put when there are so many fun things to explore in the room...

And every time I turn around, I seem to be bigger.  And this is an old picture, so add a few inches to that tummy in your mind!

We've been having Friday movie and pizza nights with the kids.  I kind of love it.  A lot.

Notice the drop cloths on the floor to protect the carpet!

Ryder does strange things when Craig is asleep, like giving him an entire bag of Chocolate Cheerios to snuggle up to:

I guess I should be glad the bag wasn't open!

Bentley and Kendra have been taking swimming lessons.  For some reason it's very hard to get pictures of this, though:

That's just Kendra there.  Bentley is in a different class and he was too far away to even try taking a picture.

Bentley is helping Ryder to love dressing up, too:

And Bentley has been working hard on learning to read and making wonderful progress.  I especially liked this book report (sorry it's sideways) because of how well he copied the style of the drawings: 

Here's the actual book for comparison's sake.  See how well he copied the elephant?!?!

We've been eating chocolate in a wonderfully messy way that makes us look like we're going Goth:

And Bentley won yet another trophy for his pinewood derby car, this time he got 1st place for the Tigers (his age group) at Districts!  I guess next year we'll teach him how to lose graciously.  But he and Craig sure enjoyed themselves!

We've got anywhere from two to three weeks until this baby comes.  In a flurry of activity yesterday, I pulled apart the car seat and began washing it (this meant finally braving the crawl space, because I decided Craig was never going to remember to do it for me), and finished moving Ryder's clothes out of his "old" room and putting the baby's clothes away there.  Craig did his first stake audits for the church, so we're glad to have that done for six months until it's time to do it again (nice that those are in February.  If it had been in March, I would have had to protest).  And he's also been keeping busy working on this new master's degree.  Me, I keep cleaning the house only to realize that these darn kids get it dirty all over again.  How do they mess things up so quickly???

I also keep wondering when it will finally be spring.  My crocuses are already blooming, but it's been so gloomy and cold I have a hard time keeping the faith that winter will ever end.  The other day everything seemed so colorless I could have cried.  When the baby comes, I'm going to cuddle up with him and an electric blanket, lock myself inside next to the heater, and refuse to go out until it's warm outside.  Doesn't that sound nice (if completely impractical)?


Aaaaaaand, Kendra turned 5!  My little girl is old enough to go to kindergarten next year!  But that deserves its own blog post, so I guess that will be up next!

A Rock and a Hard, Contracting, but Happy Place

I've got about three weeks left to go with this pregnancy, and this is such a weird time to be at, I think.  Because part of me feels like it is so close.  Three weeks out of nine months is practically nothing!  I'm nearly there!  And just before I can begin rejoicing at how close I am, I immediately realize how many things I still need to do before I'm ready for this little guy to come and I start panicking: I still need to put all my birth supplies in one place!  Finish putting away the baby clothes!  Get Ryder's clothes out of the baby's closet!  Wash the carrier and install the base!  Finish re-reading all my favorite birth books and force Craig to read them, too!  Pick a middle name for this guy!  Do a practice drive to the hospital so I know how to find it if I end up having to transfer! 

See?  Panic.  Panic-- when do I have time to do all that when all I really want to do is nap all day?

But when I'm not panicking, I'm wandering around trying to live my life and keep up with the kids and the house work, having more Braxton-Hicks contractions than I ever would have thought possible, wishing I didn't have to wear any of my clothes because none of them seem to fit me any more (seriously-- every time I get dressed for church, I end up looking for an ad for why you should never ever ever ever EVER get pregnant.  That's how big and awkward I am now), and wondering how in the world I can possibly survive another day being this huge?  Walking to pick up Bentley from school yesterday brought on at least 5 contractions (it's not that long of a walk, people!), where I had to slow down to a near stop and lean on the stroller, and I kept worrying to myself that pretty soon I'd have to just give up and tell Craig he was on Bentley duty because I just can't handle walking that far and pushing a stroller any more.

And then I have to remind myself that there's only three more weeks to go.  Quit worrying so much-- you're nearly there.

Which brings me back to the to-do list...  And the wave of panic comes crashing down around me.

Honestly, if I weren't so dang excited to meet this little guy, I'd probably be downright miserable!  But as it is, as soon as I sit down to fold some more baby clothes, I mostly just get all happy and mushy-- he's going to be so tiny!  He's going to be so cute!  I wonder if he'll have any hair, and if it will be dark like Bentley's was or if we'll have another boy with the tiniest blonde fuzz like Ryder had... 

Amazing how you can be so happy and so miserable all at the same time, isn't it?

Eye of the Beholder

A few years ago, my aunt gave my kids a series of books published by the Metropolitan Museum of Art-- one about shapes, ABCs, colors, and numbers.  Being something of an art snob, these delighted me.  So much so that I occasionally have a hard time sharing them with the kids because I'm worried they'll damage such pretty books.

I have a LOT of favorites in these.  Some are pretty obvious-- if it's by van Gogh, Monet, or Degas I'm kind of obligated to love it.  Lots have been new to me.  Like this one, Onions and Tomato by Mary Ann Currier:

I know not everyone loves a still life.  They aren't a particular favorite style of mine, either, although taking humanities 202 did help me at least appreciate them a bit more.  But I LOVE how beautifully Currier painted that onion on the far left.  It's so translucent, it almost glows.  Who knew an onion could be so lovely?  Here's a close-up (only slightly pixelated) for your viewing pleasure:

Seriously!  Isn't that one gorgeous onion???

And now this painting has completely warped me, because every time I chop up a white onion, I have to think of this painting and how beautiful something as simple as an onion can be.

I figure that's probably the highest praises a painting can receive-- it succeeds in showing you beauty in an everyday, simple thing.  Right?

Well done, Currier.  I applaud your still life.

200 Years Too Late

Some time after Craig and I got married, I got it into my head that maybe some day I could write a somewhat fictionalized novel about our courtship.  And not just because I'm one of those mushy types who likes to think that I am about as happy in my marriage as anybody can be.  I also figured the story of dating a total jerk and then finding Mr. Right is one that's worth hearing-- too many girls out there are clinging desperately to a crappy relationship not realizing that a truly happy one might be just around the corner.  (And I read enough advice columns to know that this is true, goshdarnit!)

Anyway.  I figured the story would read better if it were tweaked just a bit here and there.  The biggest change was that I'd have to introduce Craig (as a character) earlier in the novel, or else it would just seem choppy.  You can't go around switching romantic interests halfway through a novel without giving your reader some sort of foreshadowing.  Other than that, the story could probably stand pretty well.

But before I ever actually began writing, I realized that Jane Austen had beat me to the punch.  With Pride and Prejudice.  And Emma.  And the Marianne subplot of Sense and Sensibility.  Plus all the spin-offs done of those novels (the first thing that comes to mind is just Bridget Jones's Diary, but I know there are plenty of others out there)...

So this idea has officially been shelved.

Curse you and your brilliance, Jane Austen!  Curse you for writing my novel 200 years before I got around to it!



My only consolation is that she did a way better job than I ever could have anyway.

A Whole Lotta Random

Here are a whole bunch of things I've been meaning to tell you about:


-You know, I usually feel pretty good when I'm pregnant, but just this last week, I get SO STIFF every time I sit down or lay down for more than ten minutes!!!  Seriously, it takes me a full minute before all my limbs work properly, and for that one minute I have to hobble around like I'm 80 years old or something.  It's getting really annoying.  How does being pregnant make this happen?  Is there something I should be doing to make this not happen?  (Other than never sitting or laying down, that is...)

-Last night I was in charge of the combined YW/YM activity.  Somehow I got it into my head that we should do a walk-through of the Plan of Salvation.  It seemed like a fun idea at the time.  I had no idea how complicated it would end up being-- I had to buy, prepare and bring tons of food.  We had to set up all these rooms to look like the various stages and instruct a bunch of grown-ups what to do and when and everything...  It was the biggest pain ever, although I was pleased with how it all turned out.  (Mostly thanks to the many others who helped me figure out what I wasn't planning very well...)  Anyway, I was exhausted after that was all done.  And relieved to have it over with.

-In fact, apparently I was so relieved that I went to sleep that night and promptly dreamed that I was suddenly expected to perform on American Idol, and I was frantically trying to learn some song and a dance to go with it and all this stuff.  I woke up in a sweat (pregnancy is fun!), and realized that the whole American Idol shindig actually felt less stressful than the youth group activity had felt.  Go figure.

-Ryder is finally starting to get a bunch of new words!  I KNEW I was doing the right thing to put off speech therapy for a bit!  It's really fun trying to keep up with all the words he suddenly knows and will actually say back to me.

-Unfortunately, along with all this vocabulary comes a clearer sense of what he actually wants (and doesn't want).  So he's a little more difficult to please than he used to be.  But he's still a lot easier than Bentley ever was, so I'm not complaining.  At least, not yet!

Here he is looking very tough, considering he's wearing a diaper..

(Time to stretch, before my legs completely lock up on me!)

-And back to that whole thing of walking around looking like I'm 80, I also refuse to go up or down the stairs without a firm grasp on the handrail now.  It's not helping me look any younger.  But even worse than looking so decrepit would be falling down the stairs again, so that's a look I'm willing to embrace for a bit longer.  (Four-and-a-half weeks longer, to be precise!)

-Ryder has also started pretending.  It's so fun-- he'll talk in this high squeaky voice and declare "Puppy!" or "Deedee!" (which means Robot, I don't know why) and then act like whatever it is he's being.  He'll usually squint his eyes up in his I'm-being-cute way while he does it.  It cracks me up-- how can you pretend when you can say so little still?

Yeah, that squinty face!  Also, notice his new Big Boy bed in the background...

-I got a new calling this week at church!  I've actually known it was coming for a while now, but it took a long time to happen.  I've been changed from being in the YW presidency, where I've been in charge of the 12- and 13-year-old girls, to being one of the advisers and working with the 14- and 15-year-old girls.  So basically I'll still be pretty busy and involved, but rather than being in charge of all these activities, I'm in charge of teaching most Sundays and then providing support for the activities.  So it's a few less meetings and a lot less responsibility.  And considering this new baby on the way, it's probably a good change for now...  (Although my friend who just replaced me had her 4th baby back in August, so I am feeling a bit bad for her, even though I know she'll do a great job.)

-Last week was the Pinewood Derby for Bentley's scout troop.  I wasn't planning on going to it, until Craig lectured me on its its importance and explained that any semi-decent mom would be there.  Oops.  The things I missed out on, growing up in an all-girl family!  So I went after all.  And Bentley won pretty much every race, taking first place for his age group.  Which meant we had to go back a few hours later and do it all over again!  And he won all his races AGAIN, which meant that he beat all the older boys, too.  And that was both very exciting for him, but slightly disappointing for us since it would actually be good for him to learn the art of losing gracefully.  (It was also kind of embarrassing for Craig, who figured all the other fathers would be as hard-core as he'd been.  After Bentley won, he worried he'd "helped out" a little too much...)  Anyway, we now have to attend the District Level derby this Saturday.  Here's to hoping that any losing will be done with grace and equanimity by both Bentley and Craig...

After his first win

And showing off his car and trophy after the big win!

-Kendra, meanwhile, has turned into Little Mother around here.  It's kind of awesome.  She helps out and plays with Ryder so well.  She even (successfully!) put him down for his nap the other day!  Just in the nick of time, too-- I can use all the help I can get these days!  Ryder and I will both miss her terribly when she starts kindergarten next fall...

Showing off her princess dress when Grandma and Grandpa were visiting

All right.  I think that's more than enough for now, don't you?  Peace out!

Thanksgiving, Part II

After all the craziness, it was absolutely lovely to just stay put at Leah and Brian's for a couple days and enjoy everyone's company.  Of course, I did my normal thing and took hardly any pictures at all.  So you'll just have to trust me that Leah & Brian, Tracy, Rachael & Ian, and my cousin Jan, plus a couple extra people for dinner were all there and we all had a splendid time together!  And we ate so much delicious food it bordered on ridiculous.  But it was fabulous.

Here are the pictures we did take, though:

Leah and Brian live on a beautiful lake, and Kendra loved making her uncles take her out in the rowboat.  And the weather was so perfect, it made for a lovely pastime!

See?  So pretty!  Being an islander myself, I am SO jealous of their view!!!  Some day I need to live near water again...!

Craig's turkey (with help from Brian and Ian).  He was so proud of how well it turned out!

Eliot very generously shares his new trampoline with his older cousins

Bentley gets adventurous on their slide

So naturally Ryder has to follow suit...

And also naturally, it doesn't go as well for Ryder...  (And we stand around taking pictures.  'Cuz we're great parents like that.)

Cousins watching TV together

Yay for a great Thanksgiving break!  Next up, back to what's going on right now!