Thanksgiving and Ryder's Birthday

Thanksgiving was delightful.  The best part was just having everyone home-- Craig has been so busy with work and the kids were so busy with soccer.  I really loved having everyone under one roof with nowhere in particular to go, being together! 

It also helped that Craig and I have finally figured out how we do Thanksgiving, and it all went really smoothly-- no panicking over oven space or not enough hot pads or anything.  The day before, Craig had to work a half day, so I made the turkey brine for him and then took the kids to the library.  We decided to drop in and say Hi to Daddy (since his school is super close to the library) and he gave us a tour of his school!  First time I'd seen most of it, and the kids were super impressed!  (The cutest thing was Camille standing in the doorway of the gym, waving and yelling Hi to the basketball team in there practicing!)

Then we headed home and Craig followed a few minutes later.  He got the turkey brining and then once his parents arrived, he began working on pies with his mom helping him out.  He made this amazing chocolate caramel pecan pie, and not only did it taste delicious, it was also very pretty.  If he ever decides to quit his day job, he just might be able to work in a bakery!

Then we took a break from the kitchen to celebrate Ryder's birthday with Grandma and Grandpa!  They brought him lots of presents, which he was very excited about:

He picked out that outfit.  Nothing I said could persuade him to change.

Very excited to receive his favorite book, Edwina the Dinosaur Who Didn't Know She Was Extinct

And his favorite new toy, BB-8!

For his birthday dinner, Ryder wanted to eat at Chick-fil-A.  That was PERFECT for the day before Thanksgiving-- not too much food, fast, and the kids could play!  Even Camille managed to go down the big slide!

We got home, had cupcakes put the kids to bed, and got back to work.

I made ice cream while my mother-in-law (and Kendra!) peeled potatoes.  Craig made a pumpkin pie.  Then I boiled and mashed the potatoes while my mother-in-law moved on to peeling apples for apple crisp.  I chopped the apples for a bit, and then Craig took over and finished the crisp.

The next morning, Craig turned on the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade and the kids watched that while we reminisced about the time we went. 

I made rolls.  This is a recipe I only make at Thanksgiving time-- they're super yummy, because you dip the dough in butter before baking them, but because of that, they're also a big mess to make.  And despite the fact that the recipe card says on it, "Impossible to screw up!" me and my sisters have managed to screw it up NUMEROUS times.  (One sister forgot the eggs.  That didn't work so well.  Another sister didn't realize that she needed to soften the yeast in water.  That also didn't work so well.  And one time I added an extra cup of sugar.  That wasn't so terrible-- as you can imagine, they still tasted pretty good!)

Anyway, my rolls this year turned out perfect, so I was pleased.  A few days later, I realized that I didn't let them rise like I was supposed to, but it didn't seem to matter at all.  So I'm still screwing them up, but who cares?

Ryder sampling something...  the dough from the rolls?

It was a nice day, so people played outside with some of Ryder's new toys

Craig made stuffing and then got the turkey in the oven.  His parents arrived and Craig and his mom got back to work on the remaining dishes: broccoli bake, sweet potatoes, and carrots.  They just sort of plugged along getting it all done.  I read my book and bathed kids.  Grandpa played outside with kids.  Grandma washed the china.  I set the table and had Kendra make name cards for each place (I remember LOVING doing that when I was a kid)-- she decorated each one individually, it was so cute!  And before we knew it, everything was ready and it was time to eat!  Just like that!  It didn't feel stressful or anything!

Bentley always claims the drumstick

Friday morning, Craig got up and almost immediately began getting out the Christmas decorations.  I told him he could test-drive cars once the house was decorated and all the boxes put away.  That was the best motivation EVER: he finished in a day and a half!  Two trees, wreaths with bows and candles in the windows.  Holly wound around the banister.  Stockings hung by the chimney (with care).  He did it all.  The house looks so warm and festive!  We even put one of the trees in the basement, so the seminary class could enjoy it-- I hope it makes them as happy as it makes me!

While Craig was hard at work decorating, I was addressing Christmas cards.  I planned to do 20 a day, but then I got antsy and just did all of them.  I've never been this on top of sending out Christmas cards before in my life, so they'll probably get lost in the mail or something, just to teach me to not think I can get things done on time.  (Let me know if you get yours!)(And Craig enjoyed test driving cars Saturday afternoon!  I don't think we'll be buying anything just yet, but it was good to figure out what fits in our garage and what he likes.  Fact finding missions are an important part of the process!  And his car is a '95; it can't last forever...  can it?)


And then, suddenly, it was Ryder's actual birthday!

Birthdays tend to very quickly snowball into Big Things, and it all stresses me out a bit, and this one was no exception.  I began the day (after I got everyone off to school) by leaving super early so we could buy doughnuts for Ryder's class at Spudnuts.  The place just sells out and then closes for the day, so you have to get there early to make sure they've got anything left.  But the joke was on me-- it turns out they don't open on Monday at all!  So I had to race to the grocery store and make do with mini-cupcakes instead.

Then I baked Ryder's cake (it was only 9am at this point!), went to the post office (the stuff of nightmares, this time of year), and hit Costco.  Costco took longer than normal because I was waiting around to get a flu shot, but finally had to give up on that idea.  Camille fell asleep in the car on the way home.  I unloaded groceries while she slept, debated letting her keep napping, but worried the garage was too cold to leave the door open so I'd hear her.  Had to wake her up instead.

I managed to fold laundry and then grab a bowl of cereal for myself, all while talking on the phone with my sister.  Then we headed to Ryder's school to distribute cupcakes.  Unfortunately, our timing was off and we were early, and the teacher didn't want kids eating cupcakes until they'd finished their lunches.  But Colton and Camille were getting nuts.  So I finally handed off the cupcakes to a helper and left.  On the way out, my Mom called, but I quickly discovered that I couldn't talk on the phone AND shepherd two (now feral) kids into the car., and I had to hang up before they got run over in the parking lot.

Got home, put everyone down for naps.  Including myself (just for 15 minutes).  Picked kids up from the bus stop.  Tried to frost Ryder's cake while fielding calls for him from various family members wishing him a happy birthday.

And then it was time for the party!  Craig got home just before it began, thank goodness-- we had 6 kids Ryder's age, plus three Bentley's age, so that makes 14 kids all running around the house!  As you can imagine, it was craziness!  But fun craziness, with pizza and cake and presents.  And everyone-- especially Ryder-- seemed to have a good time.  Whew!

Playing in Ryder's room.

He wanted the frosting to be half chocolate and half vanilla.  So there you go!

Half of them are dabbing

And opening presents

And TODAY, I've been home almost all day making turkey stock and doing laundry.  It's gloomy and rainy outside, so it's a perfect day for this.  The Christmas tree lights are cozy.  And I'm resting up a bit before more of the craziness of Christmas can fully kick in.  I have so much to be thankful for, but right now I'm especially thankful for a calm day with yummy turkey smells.  And the promise of leftover cake later on.

Defending Jefferson

"This institution will be based on the illimitable freedom of the human mind. For here we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor to tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it."  - Thomas Jefferson to William Roscoe, December 27, 1820




Living so close to Monticello and UVA, and listening to Hamilton pretty much all the time, I decided I needed to finally figure out what the deal really WAS with Jefferson and Sally Hemings.  

I'd read the Wikipedia pages, and I knew there were plenty of books out there, but I didn't want to just read one historian's theory, I wanted the facts so I could try and sort it out for myself.  A quick Google search led me to The Jefferson-Hemings Controversy and it was exactly what I was looking for.

Basically, thirteen scholars were commissioned to look at all the evidence and weigh in with what they thought happened.  They were not to be swayed by any biases (and they weren't paid for their work), they were just to look at ALL the facts and draw conclusions.  And NONE of them felt there was conclusive evidence that Jefferson had children with Hemings.  In fact, twelve of them felt quite certain that he had no sexual relation with her at all, and the one dissenting view basically said that he didn't like Jefferson and felt he couldn't be trusted, but even he admitted that there wasn't enough evidence to conclude anything.

But-- wait-- DNA evidence proved it, right?!  

That's what you always hear.  But without exhuming Jefferson's remains (and some of the Hemings ancestors, too), we don't have any way to prove conclusively that Hemings' children were fathered by Thomas Jefferson.  The DNA testing done back in 1998 proved that one of Hemings' children* was a descendant of "a Jefferson male."  Unfortunately, there were at least 24 Jefferson males wandering around Monticello at any given time, so this still doesn't exactly prove anything.  When we toured Monticello, our guide explained that all of Hemings' children were conceived when Thomas Jefferson was around, and so between that fact and the DNA, it was certain they were his children.  But this book explained that yes, Jefferson was always around when Sally conceived, but so were all the other Jefferson males.  When Thomas wasn't at home, he kept Monticello locked up and no one came.  As soon as he returned to Monticello, everyone (seriously, SO MANY PEOPLE) came to visit.

Another interesting note about the DNA evidence is that it was very much used for other political purposes.  History professor Joseph Ellis pushed for the story to be published early so that it would come out the same day that Clinton's impeachment trial began.  Ellis was a huge fan of Bill Clinton and hoped that by "proving" that a founding father also had inappropriate relations, it would lessen the impact of Clinton's affair with Lewinsky.  Ellis greatly exaggerated what the DNA testing actually proved in order to further his political cause.  (It also came out later that he frequently lied during his lectures, telling stories about catching the winning touchdown in high school, being one of the civil rights Freedom Fighters, and even serving in Vietnam, when in reality he did none of these things.  He was suspended a year's pay for his indiscretions.)  This is not to say that the DNA evidence isn't important, but it never conclusively proved anything. 

Some of the other arguments that frequently come up concerning Jefferson and Hemings:

     "Jefferson freed all Hemings' children because they were his."  Not true.  He freed some of them, but not all of them and Sally herself was never freed.  A bunch of other members of the Hemings family (Sally's siblings) WERE freed, especially if they knew a trade and could support themselves.  Sally and a couple of her children were actually unusual in that they were some of the few Hemings family members not to be freed.

     "Servants such as Sally would have had access to Jefferson's bedroom."  Nope.  This one really bothers me: historian Annette Gordon-Reed had a primary source quote about how Sally would have had access to Jefferson's bedroom but she had removed and changed the order of at least a dozen words from the quote in order to completely change its meaning.  Now, it's certainly possible that this was an innocent mistake, but since Gordon-Reed worked on the Harvard Law Review, she ought to know how to properly cite her sources.  I think she was intentionally misleading her readers here, and that's a terrible thing for an historian to do.  The facts are that Jefferson rarely had servants in his room-- he made a point of lighting his own fire every day--  and servants were only allowed in if he wasn't around. 

     "Lots of people around Monticello said Jefferson was involved with Hemings."  The only people who ever made this claim were all people who absolutely hated Thomas Jefferson, and most of them were nowhere near Monticello.  No one who actually lived in Monticello and was close to Jefferson ever made any comment at all of something going on between Jefferson and Hemings.  Seriously-- NO ONE.  And there were THOUSANDS of people visiting and staying at Monticello throughout the course of Jefferson's life.  And they never mentioned Sally Hemings at all.  This astonishing lack of evidence is perhaps most critical.  Some people have tried to claim that this was a conspiracy to hush things up, but it would have had to have been pretty well organized for no one to ever have left any sort of evidence at all.

     "But Jefferson brought Sally to Paris with him!"  Yes, Sally accompanied Jefferson's daughter, Patty, to Paris about a year after Jefferson left.  It's fairly improbable that Sally ever lived with Jefferson, since he lived in a very small, very crowded 2-bedroom townhouse in Paris and there is no mention of her being there.  What's more likely is that Sally stayed with Patty at the boarding school she attended.  The boarding school had servants' quarters and one of Patty's schoolmates made a point of sending her regards to Sally in a letter, so clearly Patty's schoolmates were familiar with Sally.

     "Sally had an arrangement with Jefferson in Paris that any children conceived from their affair would go free.  That's why she stayed with him."  It's certainly possible, but there is no evidence of any of this-- there's no evidence that they had an affair, that there was an arrangement, and if there was an arrangement, certainly it wasn't followed.  This is an interesting story that seems to have been concocted by historians based on no evidence at all.

     "But then, who was the father???"  That's a really tough question, and it's heartbreaking, too.  The DNA evidence does prove that Hemings was involved with more than one man.  As a slave, she really would not have been allowed autonomy of her body-- just about any white man who came to Monticello probably could have used her for sex.  (I'm not even sure that she could refuse other slaves, for that matter.)  And while I'm anxious to not jump to the conclusion that it was Thomas Jefferson doing so, it still breaks my heart that he didn't protect her.  One of the most likely candidates for fathering some of her children is Thomas Jefferson's much younger brother Randolph.  Randolph was about the opposite of Thomas: completely uninterested in politics and current events.  There are eye witness accounts that Randolph enjoyed hanging out in the slave quarters at night (presumably while Thomas Jefferson was in the house talking politics with his many other guests) playing his fiddle and dancing with the slaves.  Also, all of Sally's children were conceived during the time that Randolph was a widower.  After he remarried, Sally never had any more children.  So that's interesting.  (It should also be noted that Thomas Jefferson remained at Monticello for many more years during which time Sally did not have any more children.)

     "There's an oral tradition from Sally's children that Thomas Jefferson was their father."  Sort of.  After the historian Fawn Brodie told them they were Jefferson's children, they began saying so.  Before Brodie told them her theories, their oral tradition was that their father was an uncle of Thomas Jefferson.  This is impossible, because none of Jefferson's uncles were still alive at that time.  BUT, Thomas Jefferson's younger brother, Randolph, was usually referred to as "Uncle Randolph" because he was uncle to Jefferson's children.  So this oral tradition might have referred to him.

      "Some of Sally's children played the fiddle because Jefferson taught them."  This wouldn't really persuade anyone, so it's kind of silly to address it, but I'm feeling feisty, so I will anyway.  Thomas Jefferson absolutely delighted in spending time with his children and grandchildren.  But there is no evidence of him spending any time (or even noticing) the children of his slaves.  It seems odd that there would be such a disconnect, but I guess if you believe he was sleeping with a slave, you've already accepted quite a bit of disconnect on Jefferson's part.  So, Yes, some of Sally's children played the fiddle, but there is no record of them being taught by Thomas.  Also, there weren't a lot of choices in musical instruments in Virginia at this time, so this isn't exactly a huge coincidence.  BUT, it should be noted that Jefferson didn't play the fiddle, he played the violin.  Who did play a fiddle?  Oh, that's right-- his brother, Randolph. 


So there you have it.  I know Jefferson wasn't perfect.  He certainly owned slaves, and while he spent a lot of time fretting about the immorality of the situation, he never freed them all (like Washington did, upon his death).  One of the slaves that Jefferson did free later committed suicide, so I wonder if this didn't make him question if freeing his slaves was even the right course of action.

I feel like our country has so little respect for Jefferson any more, and he deserves better than that.  It seems like the least we can do is try to accept him for who he actually was and stop assuming that these unsubstantiated rumors are true.  The courage it must have taken for him to write the Declaration of Independence still astonishes me-- I can't imagine risking my life and my home and property to stand up against a tyrannical government.  If England would have won, you know he would have been one of their first executions.


I love Jefferson for what he did for our country.  I hope we can honor him for that.

  

*The DNA also proved that another son was NOT a Jefferson at all, so it definitively proved that not all of Hemings' children were conceived by Thomas Jefferson, although it is still possible that some of them were.  Hemings had other children, but they were able to pass as white and disappeared into society, so we have no way of testing their descendants' DNA now.

Why I've Been Ignoring My Blog

Last week was a perfect storm, mostly of my own doing.  Tuesday we had Young Women in Excellence, an annual event where we recognize the girls' various achievements.  It's one of those things that takes way more work behind the scenes than you really think it ought to.  It required several planning meetings, lots of contacting parents to get information from them, organizing food, making food and trying to figure out how to keep it warm in a totally gross church kitchen...  And decorating.  And none of those are things that I particularly excel at.

But I dutifully showed up (after babysitting for a friend all morning!) and twisted and hung crepe paper to look like a sun.  And I made a batch of stuffed French toast, decided it might not be enough, and made another batch.  (Our theme was "Arise and Shine Forth" so we served breakfast foods-- everybody loves breakfast!)

And the evening went beautifully.

THEN, the next day I had signed up to feed the missionaries, not knowing that Craig would be gone all day in DC on a field trip (and, actually, not knowing it would be YW in Ex. the day before, either-- that was supposed to have happened the previous week!).  So we had to bring the meal to the missionaries and-- of course-- they live 30 minutes away out in the middle of farmlands, so not only did I have to spend an hour driving during dinner time, once we gave them their meal, my GPS stopped working and I had to try and remember how to get us home.  In the dark.

I actually only took one wrong turn, and quickly figured out my mistake (because we suddenly were on a road with no line down the middle-- I knew that wasn't right).  So we did pretty well, all things considered.  But it made for a very long and stressful evening.

And then Thursday morning I was teaching seminary.  That went fine, I thought I'd get to relax and enjoy the rest of the day, and then it all fell apart on me.

I spent Friday babysitting while my friend taught seminary, then talking on the phone a lot, and finally cleaning my house.  Craig and I got to "chaperone" the school play that night, which was kind of fun and kind of boring.  (And thanks to my in-laws who not only babysat for us, but also bought us all dinner before the play!)  The play was Little Women, which I love, but it's pretty long and it's hard for amateurs to keep the energy up in something like that.  And it didn't help that the auditorium was cooking at about 100 degrees.  But really, the kids did a great job, all things considered.  The play cut off a bit early in the story-- it ended right after Beth dies, so we didn't get the closure of Amy marrying Laurie and Jo finally finding a writing career (and love!) in New York.  That seemed a bit of a shame, but after 2.5 hours of sitting in that hot theater, I wasn't going to complain.

Saturday was our LAST day of SOCCER GAMES.  Soccer season is finally over, folks!  I can't wait to get back to having evenings with my children all home, not having to worry about who needs to be where at what time and is it my turn to drive and is someone napping and how do I feed everyone AND get them to and from soccer!  I'm even MORE excited to get our Saturday mornings back, and maybe even spend them together as a family, rather than splitting up and trying to make sure that the littlest ones end up at the game where there's a playground for them.

Soccer has been the biggest hassle ever.  I think next autumn we won't bother.  I'd like to try to do some outings instead-- October mornings are usually perfect weather for places I want to visit, like Montpelier and the Richmond Zoo.  And just doing yard work with everyone outside.  That's how I want my Fall Saturdays to be spent.

Sorry, soccer.


I have more to report on from that Saturday, but this blog post is long enough and you get the idea.  Last week was nuts.  I am definitely looking forward to having time together with the whole family this week.

About Tuesday...

Baz Luhrmann is good for everything.

A Tiny Poke at Politics

I've purposely kept my blog apolitical this election season.  While I enjoy discussing politics in person with friends where we can agree to disagree at times, I find it very hard to do so in the same friendly spirit online.  So I usually just don't go there.  (And when I break that rule, I usually regret it immediately.)

And I'm still not going there with this post, either.  I just want to say one (sort of strange) thing: I find myself envying the people who are firmly in Hilary's camp.  Her politics are basically the opposite of mine, so she was never going to have my vote.  But the people who do agree with her politics and are so eager to see her elected have such a wonderful hope for the future.  I wish I could feel that way for anyone on the ballot, too.

Totally on the Fence

(I meant to publish this yesterday, but the day got away from me...)

Is it just me, or has Halloween (just like everything else) become more and more polarized?

I feel like there are a lot of people out there who just HATE Halloween.  They're the people writing in to Dear Prudence complaining that because they live in a well-to-do neighborhood, too many kids from the poor part of town come around looking for free candy.  And the people who are infuriated that teenagers want to go trick-or-treating when they are obviously too old for it.  And there are people who just hate it even in the best of circumstances-- I just heard that the bishop in my hometown refuses to have a Halloween party, making it a Fall Festival instead.  (Not sure why, since the CHURCH isn't against it.  But whatever...)

And there also seem to be a lot of people who absolutely LOVE Halloween.  They go nuts decorating their entire front yard, and even the front of their house for it.  (We just saw a house that had its own radio station playing Halloween music, with synchronized lighting to boot!)  They spend months planning and creating family-themed costumes.  Just the mention of Halloween brings squeals of delight from these people.

And then there's me.  Right smack dab in the middle.  I'm too lazy (and apparently not creative OR crafty enough) to come up with awesome costumes for my kids.  They usually get whatever we happen to find at Target/Wal-Mart/Costco, or a hand-me-down costume from an older sibling.  I usually don't bother with a costume for myself at all.  I think the last time I dressed up was when I was pregnant with Kendra...  (I did dress up last night, though-- I figured out I could probably pull off a Rosie the Riveter costume.  But I only came up with that after seeing on facebook that a friend had done so a few years back.  And then that same friend bought me a red handkerchief to tie around my head because I was too lazy to look for one myself!  AND IT'S NOT EVEN MY IDEA!!!)

So, yeah, I'm pretty lame when it comes to costumes.  But at the same time, I really do love seeing the amazing costumes other people come up with!  A few years ago, a friend of mine dressed her whole family like characters in How to Train Your Dragon and it was fantastic!  The viking costume for her husband, the older son as Hiccup, and the younger son as Toothless-- I wouldn't even know where to start on any of those costumes, and she'd done an amazing job on it all!  And last Friday, at the high school football game, a girl in the drumline had dressed herself up as a pink bunny (NOT a sexy bunny, just a plain pink bunny) and slapped an Energizer sticker on her base drum and I thought it was brilliant!  Simple, but awesome!

I love seeing what other people do.  I just don't care enough to put in the effort myself.

At the same time, I don't understand the hatred against Halloween, either.  For example: Why would anyone have a problem with teenagers trick-or-treating?  In this world where everyone wants them to grow up so fast, I'm fine with teens holding on to a few vestiges of their childhood.  I can think of a whole lot worse things they could be doing instead.  I will admit that kids asking for candy without wearing any costume at all sort of irritate me.  I'll give them candy anyway (because I don't want them to come back and egg my house), but I don't like it.  And that bishop who won't hold a ward Halloween party-- really?  People already think Mormons are weird enough without giving them the impression that Halloween is against our religion, also!  Please don't make us look weirder than we actually are! 

So, yeah, I feel like I'm right smack dab in the middle of the love and hate that flies around at the end of October.  No, that's not true-- I come down squarely in the "love it" camp.  I mean, what's not to love about a holiday that involves creativity and free candy?  It's just a very lazy kind of love, that's all.


I guess the bonus to forgetting to publish this yesterday is now I can tack on a couple pictures of our family:

L-R, we have a cow, Clark Kent, a witch, a ghost, a dragon, and an old man

Ryder is such a dapper dragon.  And look-- I dressed up this year!  I would have been flexing if I hadn't been carrying a cow...!