The Life of a Showgirl

Writing about my Spotify Wrapped made me realize that I never got around to reviewing Taylor's newest album, The Life of a Showgirl!!!  You all must be so mad at me, waiting so long to hear my thoughts about this!  Apologies all around!  Let's get to it!

So-- first things first-- I kinda complained that her last album (The Tortured Poets Department) was too long.  But since then, I've been surprised at the staying power of a lot of the songs on that album.  I may have judged it too harshly.  Regardless, she overcorrected and this album felt a bit short!  (Poor Taylor can't win!)  She sort of tried to make up for it later, by releasing the album again with a bunch of the songs re-recorded as acoustic versions, but really, that feels like cheating (even when I quite like a lot them reworked as acoustic songs)!  So, there's that.

Hearing the hype before the release, I was worried that this album would be a lot of Taylor Swift complaining about how hard her life is, so I was quite relieved when that really isn't what it's about at all.  Phew!  Thank you for not subjecting us to that, Taylor!  (Or at least, not very much of that!)  Also, I should point out that all my reviews are about the cleaned up versions.  I don't bother with the dirtier lyrics.  So-- without further ado, here are the songs, in order:

The Fate of Ophelia:  This is a really great, catchy song!  I'm excited that Taylor's references to Ophelia might get people reading Hamlet, so that's a nice bonus.  And the music video that goes with it is well done.  Nice, strong start, Taylor!

Elizabeth Taylor:  Ooh, I like this one, too!  I'm not entirely sure why we're talking about Elizabeth Taylor.  I mean, yes, I know she was super famous and an icon for beauty and glamour and whatnot, but there have been plenty of icons, why her?  I mean, I can't help but think that it's mostly because her last name is Taylor.  I can't really think of anything else she and Taylor Swift have in common?  I guess the other obvious answer is that both have been unlucky in love and the media and fans seem to eat their sorrows like it's actual food.  That must feel lousy.  Regardless, it's a surprisingly fun song!  I approve!

Opalite:  Ooh, this one is almost the definition of a bop!  It's catchy, it's fun.  Sure, it's a bit pithy and I'll probably be sick of it soon, but once you've heard it, it WILL get stuck in your head for a day or two!  Beware!  But I like it.

Father Figure:  Another winner.  Unlike the first three songs, this one has a darker (I guess more minor) sound to it, so that's different.  It also has a fun little revenge feel to it with a nice dash of triumph at the end.  I wonder who she's talking about here?  (Ah-- a quick google search says it's probably about either Scott Borchetta or Scooter Braun, in case you were curious.)  I like this one, too.

Eldest Daughter:  This one is fine and decently catchy, but it's not one of my favorites.  My children inform me that her use of the phrases such as "Savage" and not being the baddest (cleaned up) are super cringy.  That doesn't bother me because a) I'm too old to care if Taylor is cringe, and b) I actually think that's sort of the point?  I don't know, I could be wrong there.  When she talks about how she learned cautious discretion after breaking her arm falling off a trampoline, I feel like maybe she's milking this minor incident a little too much, acting like her life has been so difficult.  Not a good look, Taylor!  Also, the idea behind this, that every eldest daughter is so put upon...  All these other oldest daughter TikTokers are acting like she's stated this universal truth about how hard that role is, but I'm not buying it.  I mean, I'm sure sometimes it feels that way, but I think the nature of childhood is that EVERY kid feels put upon at times.  Because being a powerless kid sometimes sort of sucks!  Your life has not been that hard, Taylor.  I do like the repeating theme that she's never gonna break that vow, I assume to look out for her little brother?  That's nice.  

And.  I LOVE the line where she admits, "When I said I don't believe in marriage, that was a lie."  Thank you for finally being honest about that one, Taylor!  Our society needs to get back to admitting that most of us want to get married.  That's not a bad thing!  This song is fine.  But if it gets skipped, I don't really care.  

Ruin the Friendship:  This is another one that is perfectly catchy, but if it gets skipped, I won't really complain.  And it's surprisingly sad at the very end, which I did not see coming on my first listen!  Why, Taylor???  And what happened to the guy????  (Okay, I just googled this one, too, and apparently it was about her good friend Jeff Lang.  No info on why he died so young, but speculation that the song "Forever Winter" might also have been about him, so he probably had mental health problems, which is just so sad.)

I also really agree with the message here that it's better to take the risk and find out if someone likes you back than to never ask because you don't want to risk ruining your friendship.  One of my biggest pet peeves is people who refuse to date someone they have chemistry with because they're don't want to mess up their friendship.  I mean, do you honestly think you're going to stay buddies after one of you marries someone else?  Yeah, it's not gonna happen.  That friendship is doomed no matter what, so you might as well take the risk!

I'm glad Taylor agrees with me on this!  

Actually Romantic:  This one is complicated.  I originally quite liked the song, but as I learned more about what (and who) it's actually all about, it kind of soured for me.  I don't care enough to write it all out here (if you're actually curious, you can read all about it here), but basically, Charli XCX wrote a song about how she feels inferior to Taylor Swift and hates feeling that way, and as punishment for that Taylor decided to come out swinging.  And it just sort of seems mean.  And this is also one where knowing the not-cleaned-up version sort of ruins the song for me.  So, yes, if it's playing, I'll probably be singing along, but I don't really like it.  

Wi$h Li$t:  This one has gotten all this bad press from Taylor's TikTok fans for being "MAGA-coded" which frankly shocked me because I thought this song was so funny!  Oops?  I guess?  (Not really.  I refuse to apologize for the things I like!)  I'm sorry, if wanting to get married and have kids is MAGA-coded, then the left is in for a world of trouble.  The line making fun of people with "three dogs that they call their kids" is hilarious, as is the rest of the song.  I love that she's praying, "Please, God, bring me a best friend who I think is hot"-- isn't that what everyone wants?  This song is great.

Wood:  The dirtiest song Taylor's ever written, and (even cleaned up) it's hard for me to get past that.  It's also just kind of dumb.  I usually just skip it because I'm too embarrassed to be seen listening to it.

CANCELLED!:  Ooo, I like this song a lot.  It's got the same fun, dark, witchy vibe as "Look What You Made Me Do."  Supposedly it's about Blake Lively, which I don't love, since I'm pretty sure she's evil.  But I still can't resist this one.  (Update-- I guess the same people who say Wi$h Li$t was another MAGA song are saying this one might be about Brittany Mahones, so who knows?)

Honey:  This one is sweet (ha!), but kind of boring.  I usually skip it.

The Life of a Showgirl:  Argh, the song here is catchy, but the lyrics and story it's telling is totally dumb!  I never know what to do with a song like this!  She and Sabrina Carpenter sound nice to each other, and they're little "Thanks for coming to the show" banter at the end is kind of a fun reminder of the Eras Tour.  But the actual "story" about some girl meeting the main girl showgirl after a show and being so impressed and wanting to become one?  I just don't care!  And the idea of having the keys to the city-- I mean, maybe I just don't know anything about this, but I can't name a single famous showgirl.  Actresses, yes.  Singers, yes.  But I just don't think being a showgirl is that exciting or interesting or, I don't know, history-making?  They all get forgotten.  I just think Taylor latched onto the idea of being a showgirl (which she isn't, but whatever) and had to write a song about it, but this isn't really that great.  But unfortunately, it is catchy enough that if the song comes on the radio, I'll probably be singing along to it, even as I'm annoyed by it.  Grr.  

Taylor also released a bunch of pictures to go with the album, and they're...  pretty weird?  

I mean, this is fine and showgirl-esque

But this is...  Taylor as Spider-man?  Why is she climbing over the chairs in her heels and fishnets?

Taylor cosplaying Marilyn Monroe...

I guess this is showgirl-y...

But this is just weird.  Why is she green?  Why is she posing like that?

This is me every time I eat spaghetti.  I swear she's just copying me.

And, as I said, she released a bunch of acoustic versions of the songs a couple weeks later, and they're pretty fun-- I generally like those!-- but not different enough for me to write more about them.  

So, to sum up, I like the album, but I'm not head over heels in love with it.  It's a bit short and it's not particularly deep or heartbreaking like most of her stuff tends to be.  But releasing a fun and catchy album is not the worst thing in the world.  Maybe happy-in-love Taylor doesn't have it in her to rip her heart out just to produce music with all the feels, and that's okay.