And now, a rant.

Okay. Forgive me while I get up on my soapbox for a moment here.

Is it just me, or are more and more people getting really intolerant of completely stupid things these days?

There's a lot of really bad, immoral stuff going on in our world today (none of which will be discussed here). And for the majority of it, I am told that I need to put up with it all or else I am a terrible and judgmental person, the quintessential holier-than-thou, intolerant Christian. And whether I agree with it or not, I try my best to follow these new social norms and not express my disapproval.

But mention that you don't breastfeed and then watch the judgments come pouring down over you.

In the last month, I have read a blog post that explained to me that if I had my son circumcised, it was because I thought he was born deformed. A friend of mine mentioned that she attended a book club only to be told by one of its members that all fiction was "worthless." Another blog post told me that if I was just brave and open-minded enough, I should be able to really enjoy a terribly crass and vulgar Broadway show that mocks my religion (the blog post didn't explain what I should do if I simply hate vulgarity-- apparently that's my own problem to work through). A facebook post told me that if I didn't keep my baby in a rear-facing carseat until he was two years old, it's because I was more worried about my time than my baby's safety and clearly did not deserve to be a parent at all. I'm also a bad parent for preferring the sleep training tactics in the book On Becoming Babywise to Dr. Sears' ideas of attachment parenting in The Baby Book. And while I'm discussing my parenting flaws, I've also learned that I'm a prude who is embarrassed of my body since I like to cover up while nursing, and don't bother to post pictures (or even take them, for that matter) on facebook of the tender moment.

And here is my big problem with all this: WHY DO YOU CARE? Of all the important things that need to be changed in the world, you're going to spend all your time campaigning for that? Really? At least when I was a missionary and trying to change people, I was trying to save their souls. Not their foreskins. Unless I'm endangering myself or my children (physically or emotionally), I don't think you need to make it your life's work to change me. Go spend that energy volunteering for the Red Cross or something.

Maybe you only like to read self-help books. That's great! Good for you! But don't tell me that the books I enjoy are worthless. Just because you don't value them doesn't mean they don't have value. (And in return, I will try my hardest to not tell you that I would rather die than read most self-help books...)

Maybe you think circumcision is a miserable, barbarian custom that needs to be done away with. Fine. But that doesn't mean you need to make it your life goal to tell me I'm a bad person for choosing that option. Really. You don't need to do that. Because I'm pretty sure that in the long run, it doesn't matter.

Maybe you are convinced that more women need to give birth naturally. That may be true. But telling someone who just had a c-section that the only reason for her surgery was because her doctor is a greedy pig isn't helping her. It's just making her feel bad. And no brand new mother needs you to make her feel bad. Rather than doing that, try bringing her a casserole instead. THAT'S something she could probably use! (I'm weird here, because I have given birth naturally and I loved it, but the people who run around trying to tell everyone else they should do it too drive me bonkers. I sort of hate putting myself in their camp!)

I have several friends who have not been able to nurse their babies (all for different reasons). Please don't tell them that breastmilk is better than formula for their babies. When they begin mixing up formula for their baby, don't stare at them in horror and tell them you "thought" they were good mothers until now (true story). Don't tell them that the reason people don't breastfeed is simply because they're too lazy to get up in the middle of the night (another true story). Every single one of these people tried breastfeeding and it didn't work. Breastmilk is no longer an option! Which means what she has left to try is formula or letting her child starve! Do you really think formula is worse than starvation? And honestly, even if they didn't attempt to breastfeed at all, it's still none of your business! Nearly an entire generation of women refused to breastfeed their kids and nothing worse than allergies has ever been linked to that movement. Heck, I have allergies and I was breastfed! Really. If the worst thing we, as mothers, ever do to our children is feeding them formula, I think we should all be given medals.

And while I'm ranting about nursing, I have to also say that if you don't want to wear a cover while you nurse your baby, that's fine. While I know plenty of people who are uncomfortable with that, I don't happen to be one of them, so I don't particularly care. But don't tell me about your lack of a cover as though this makes you a better mother than me. It doesn't. I'm certain that being covered while eating has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on whether or not your child or mine will be accepted to Harvard some day.


All right. I need to stop and let my blood pressure drop back down into a healthy range again.

I realize I'm mostly focusing on parenting stuff. I also realize that I'm beginning to sound like a loony and that none of you who read my blog are guilty of this. But this was the only place I could think of to get this out of my system.

So my final plea:

If you feel strongly about something, I'm fine with you explaining your views to me. I'll probably even be genuinely interested to hear your take on things. I like learning new stuff. But when you just attack me for not seeing things the way you do, it doesn't help your cause at all. It just leads to me stubbornly digging in my heels against your cause, possibly being offended, and even more possibly not liking you very much any more.

Is that really what you're trying to accomplish?

Let's try to be tolerant of the little things in life that don't matter. Because the truth is, most of them really don't matter that much.