Olly Olly Oxen Free!

Did you ever play tag as a kid? And did you have a "base" where you were safe?

I realize that the shower has become my base, my safe place, my little break during the day. Don't get me wrong-- I have always loved a good, long hot shower. But now, it's my only break from the constant interruptions that come with having two very talkative and inquisitive children and a baby. As my homefree place, it's a part of my day which I try my best to enjoy to the fullest extent. And like any good game, shower time has developed certain rules that I must follow. And with each kid I produce, these rules get more and more complicated. Right now, the rules go like this:

-if Ryder is down for a nap and has been quiet for at least fifteen minutes (and therefore is probably actually asleep), you may shower.

-if you hear Ryder making happy noises, you must get in the shower within 30 seconds of hearing that noise and shower as fast as humanly possible, or else forgo showering until his next nap time rolls around

-if the noise you hear is crying, then you don't even get that 30 second window. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, do not shower at this time.

-for optimal showering experience, Bentley and Kendra should be watching a movie. Otherwise, they will interrupt you several times for reasons that you usually can't hear, but which will make you worry enough to cut your shower time in half

-the bathroom door must be locked during shower time. This is why you won't be able to hear them. If they sound hysterical enough through the muffled door and water noises, you may turn off the water and yell, "WHAT?!?!?!" but you'll probably just tell them to wait until you're out of the shower.

-if Bentley and Kendra aren't watching a movie, you must hem and haw over whether or not to lock that door. Whatever you decide to do will probably be the wrong choice, though.

-if you shower before all of the kids wake up, you will spend the entire time worrying that they are crying in their rooms. This really isn't worth it unless it's Sunday and Craig is home and can take care of them (or tell you that Ryder is hungry, so you'd better hurry up).

-if Ryder has slept through the night, do not bother showering until you've fed him. You WILL be interrupted. Even if you can't hear him, you'll still spend the entire shower worrying about him.

-Ryder will almost always sleep through the night on nights when you have to get up early and shower, thus leaving you completely unsure of what to do.

-showering at night is definitely better than not showering at all. But it's sort of like sitting on base when no one else is playing tag. What's the point?

-when you do step into that shower, sigh with relief. And enjoy every second of it. You deserve it.


So, all this begs the question: what are some of your self-imposed rules?