First of all, kudos to both my sister and my Dad who figured out the riddle right away-- they were right on: all three things-- your marriage, your teeth and your testimony-- are things you need to take care of every day if you want them to last. That seems like such a silly thing to be writing about, but I feel like I can't turn around without hearing about someone whose marriage fell apart, or someone who left the Church, and those always worry me. I start doubting myself, wondering, "Will Craig and I end up like that? Are there warning signs that I should be watching for that I'm missing?" (Let me tell you, Craig LOVES it when I start second-guessing us and he gets to spend an evening reassuring me that if there were problems, we probably would have noticed! Fortunately I don't have those freak-out moments too often!) Or I begin to wonder if my testimony is strong enough to see me through everything life has to throw at me.
It makes me think of a day when, out of the blue, one of my high school teachers asked us, "Do any of you ever get depressed at the idea of having to brush your teach every single day?" He quickly back-pedaled a bit, explaining that he wasn't trying to say he liked mossy teeth or anything, but sometimes he just didn't want to have to do something every single day. And I loved him for saying it, because I had felt the same way. What-- I don't get a vacation from taking care of my teeth ever??? Which is silly, because I like brushing my teeth! I'm a big fan of personal hygiene, actually. But every day? For the rest of my life? Really???
And I think sometimes we tend to think about our testimonies in the same way. Those CPR steps-- church, pray, read scriptures-- can seem like a lot to have to do all the time, over and over, for the rest of our lives. But I've watched people who don't do those things struggle so much with their testimonies and ultimately lose them. A testimony is a surprisingly fragile thing. You can never just say "I've arrived!" and be done obtaining one.
A marriage is a little different, because most of the things you can do to keep your marriage alive and well are actually really fun, but as life gets busier (and with each additional kid!), it can be hard to do those things. Add to that the stress of daily life and not getting enough sleep and I can see how it would be easy to let those little things that make for a happy couple go by the wayside.
So here's my soapbox thought for the day: in the same way you wouldn't just stop brushing your teeth because you figure they're good enough the way they are, don't ever stop taking care of your marriage or your testimony. A few minutes of daily upkeep will do wonders for them all!
4 comments:
Love this comparison.
Very wise words!
Silly me -- I was going to say they all three have deep roots under the surface (or all have roots holding them together or something :)
On a similar vein, I thought I'd share something that I wrote before my sister's wedding that captures some of the same spirit. It's something I'd do better to think about more, but too often I get caught up in the emotion and get irritated about something without thinking about the big picture. (Luckily Dave is the stoic type. ;)
"Every act and thought that each of us has today sets up our mental and physical habits for the days to come. Our brains are giant pattern-matching machines, capable of forming habits out of seemingly innocuous actions and thoughts. Every loving thought, gesture, and word makes it that much easier to be loving in the future. Conversely, each negative thought, or hurtful remark makes it that much easier to be hurtful in the future. These habits of mind and action are often in place before we even realize what has started to happen. We must be mindful each day that we are continually training ourselves and those around us through our thoughts, word and actions. Indeed, it is even more important to be kind when it's the hardest for us, not only because it's nicer to be kind in that moment, but more importantly, because it sets up a future where being kind is habitual. [And all that said, I sure need to work on all of the above myself and in my own relationships!! But, being aware is one of the first steps...]"
Cheers!
Liz
That was a great post, Alanna, thanks! It's always good to remember those things and to keep it all in perspective.
Elizabeth, I like your quote, too, very profound!! Congrats, by the way, on your upcoming wedding!!!!
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