Comparison

Tonight for dinner, I made this soup and these rolls. And they both turned out just like they were supposed to!

Six years ago, the idea of making both of these on the same day would have been completely inconceivable to me. If I made Hamburger Helper for dinner I thought I was making a pretty impressive meal. I know I have a long way to go, but I'm still sort of proud of my blossoming cooking skills.

It's funny, though. Six years ago I could write a 5-page paper in my sleep. Now, three short, not-at-all-fleshed-out paragraphs seems like plenty on the topic. My, how things change!

Unions

My friend Erin asked me what I thought about everything that's going on in Wisconsin. I have to admit-- I haven't been following the mess there as closely as I should be. Probably because union workers protesting their "right" to get more money always annoys me. Actually, unions in general annoy me. I understand that when they were first created, they served a legitimate purpose. And there are certainly times when the worker needs to be protected. But I'm not convinced that every union is doing this.

I should explain where I got these opinions from. While I was in college, I spent most of my summers working for Airborne Express, up until the time they were bought out by DHL. My last summer there, my job was to clean out the corporate offices as they prepared to move to Florida, where DHL's headquarters were located. Since my work wasn't very hard and my boss was very busy, she encouraged me to take my time as I sorted out which documents needed to simply be thrown away and which had information on them that required that they be shredded. So in order to work slowly, I often read the documents I was sorting. One of the drawers I cleared out was filled with correspondence between the CEO of the company and the Teamster's Union.

Now, if you know anything about the Teamster's Union, you're probably aware that they are the most thuggish of all unions. So maybe I shouldn't have been surprised by the letters I found. But I was. The letters from the president of the Teamster's Union threatened to shut down the company at Christmas time, talking about little kids not getting their Christmas presents. And this was just because it was time to renegotiate contracts! Something that happens on a regular basis! He was doing this mostly just as a way of flexing his muscles, proving that he was more powerful than the CEO. It was slimy and mean and completely unnecessary.

In direct contrast, I also found instructions from Airborne on how to keep your stations union free. Thinking this might explain why the teamster's were so angry with the corporation, I read these closely as well. The shocking advice I found was mostly along the lines of, "Listen to your employees, try to keep them happy" and genuinely good and caring suggestions like that.

I'm glossing over a lot here, but hopefully you're getting the idea. After that summer, the conclusion I had to come to was that Corporate America was usually much more interested in what would make its workers happy than any union was. The union was a power- and money-hungry institute that took away from worker's paychecks while trying to beat up on the suits in the company.

So Craig and I were pleasantly surprised when we moved to Virginia and discovered that it is a union-free state (okay, okay, "commonwealth." Whatever that means). So while there is a "Teacher's Association," they are not allowed to put any pressure on teachers to join. So Craig never did.

And because of that, we have experienced this economic slump very differently than, say, the teachers in New Jersey. Because Craig hasn't had a raise in three years. And he has always had to pay for some of his health care. When Governor Christie told the New Jersey teachers they weren't getting a raise and would need to pay for 1% of their health care premiums, Craig and I were cheering! Why shouldn't these teachers have to experience what the rest of the country was experiencing? (Oh, and our premiums went up 30% this last year. Thank you, Obama. We weren't very sympathetic to these teachers whining because they had to pay anything at all.)

This is where you might be thinking, "But if Craig had a strong union, maybe he would have been getting raises and not having to pay so much for health insurance!" No, probably not. With a strong union around, Craig probably would have been laid off that first summer after the housing market crashed. Because he was the low man on the totem at that point, and unions always look out for the person who's been there longest-- no matter what their qualifications. This was true of the pilots that worked for Airborne. They made sure that starting salaries were so low as to be nearly impossible to live on (much like teachers, actually) and the older pilots got all the benefits. As my boss once said, "They eat their young."

The teacher's union is no different. Craig has told me about a teacher at his elementary school (in New Jersey) who apparently hated teaching: she would come visit Craig's teacher as often as 13 times in one day, looking for reasons to abandon her own classroom. That is appalling behavior, but she couldn't be fired because the union was protecting her. She had been there for 30+ years, was making a fat salary, and was virtually un-fireable. This was what the unions had done for their schools.

Craig hasn't had a raise in three years, and my understanding is that with the economy this bad, he's not the only one in that boat. But because there isn't a strong union, he still has a job, while the teachers who weren't particularly good teachers have been the ones to get laid off, along with some of the administration positions that were slightly less necessary.

Do I wish Craig would get a raise? Heck, yeah!

Do I think his school district has the money for it? Probably not right now. Although I'm praying for an economic recovery!

Until they do have the money, there's not much point grousing for more of it. That's how you end up with states like California-- drowning in debt with no foreseeable way of escaping it. In the same way that I avoid credit card debt, I'd rather Virginia (and Manassas Park) not hurt themselves that way. It wouldn't actually be solving any problems.

So my opinion about Wisconsin boils down to pretty much the same thing: if there's no money, you can't very well give people raises. If the only way to get more money is by raising taxes, all you're doing is encouraging people to want to live somewhere else, meaning there are less people paying those taxes. It becomes a very bad cycle. (And it's one of the reasons my in-laws didn't mind leaving New Jersey-- their taxes were outrageously high there.)

And when people talk about how it's their "right" to get a pay raise, I say that it's their right to go work somewhere else if they're not happy with what they're earning. But it's not their right to demand that I pay more taxes when the same poor economy that they're living in is effecting me (and my wallet), too.


I think that's enough of a rant for now. Maybe some day I'll treat you to an essay giving you my thoughts on teacher's salaries. Maybe.

Ryder Vid

As soon as I posted about how making Ryder cheer for himself always makes him smile, he immediately quit doing it. Until today. So this time we made sure we caught it on video:


I kind of like that he's his own best cheerleader.

Happy Birthday, Kendra!

You know, usually for a kid's birthday post, parents talk about how they can't believe how old their child has gotten. But I have to admit, I sort of feel like Kendra's been three for a while now. I'm not sure if I just got used to rounding up after Bentley's birthday or what, but she feels like a three-year-old to me. And I mean that in only good ways.

But whatever age I think she ought to be, I still need to celebrate the occasion with lots of pictures on my blog! So here goes:

Chilling in the hospital. My tiny baby girl!

Even then she had a temper! She gets that from her mommy, I'm afraid...

With her buddy Afton-- they've been friends since birth!

Learning to crawl from Afton

First Halloween

She's still about this messy when she eats


Upset over being forced to wear a (totally adorable) hat

The obligatory bath time picture!

All dressed up for church

Playing dress-up with Bentley

She is a total daddy's girl, no doubt about it!

Perhaps one of my favorite pictures of all time

Licking the beater I used just now to make her cake.
I told you she was still a messy eater!

Happy Birthday, Kenna Wee! I sure love my sweet little girl!

The Facts on Ryder

There are so many little details I want to remember about Ryder right now. And since I pretty much stopped writing in the kids' baby book the day I began blogging, I'm going to have to record it all here. So here's a little list:

-Sometimes after Ryder sneezes, he'll make this funny, slightly forceful "uhhh!" noise. Like he just had a little bit of a leftover sneeze or something. I don't get it, but it makes me laugh.

-His neck is a little stiff on one side, so he gets to do physical therapy! Apparently we're lucky the doctor spotted it right away, because lots of babies with this condition have to wear little helmets so their heads don't end up misshapen. Ryder's head seems just fine to me so far, though... The physical therapy involves stretching his head from side to side and then tipping his ear towards his shoulder. Nothing too strenuous, but trying to find the time to do it has forced me to notice just how busy I am all day long.

-The fastest way to make him smile is to clap his hands together and say, "Rah, rah, rah..." and then lift them above his head and shout, "... Ryder!" Works every time.

-I've finally trained Bentley to only kiss his feet, and not his face or anywhere else. Thanks to our pediatrician for that idea. Bentley wants to look at Ryder all the time, he loves him so much. Kendra occasionally wants to look at Ryder and tell me how cute he is.

-His hair is gradually growing longer and now you can see it most of the time. Unless the lighting is really bad. It's still über-blonde. I call him my Blondie Bear, which is a reference to Buffy for all you fans out there. (Bonus points if you can name the episode or who calls who that!)

-He absolutely loves watching his mobile. When I read him a story before bedtime, his eyes invariably wander to the mobile dangling over his crib, which he stares at longingly until I finish with story time. Then, when I wind it up, he'll be completely enthralled and talk to the animals even after the music has run out.

-He's a great sleeper. He usually wakes up one time during the night, but there are times when he'll wake up twice or sleep through the night, so I never really know what to expect. He always goes right back to sleep as soon as he's done nursing, though, so that's lovely.

-When he does get up in the night, as I carry him to bed to feed him, he invariably will try to nibble on my shoulder and then get more and more upset, making little R2D2-esque squeals of frustration, as he fails to find food there.

-Sometimes when he's starting to get upset, but hasn't worked himself up to actually crying yet, his yowling will begin to sound like an angry cat. It makes me laugh.

-Recently after he finishes his (ahem) first course, rather than move on to the second, he'll just lay there and smile at me. It's one of those things that manages to be so sweet, but kind of annoying, too, since I'd usually like to just be done feeding him! Oh, well. I have to take whatever loving I can get.

-His baby blessing will be on March 13th. Come if you can!

Post-Valentine's Day Post

Craig and I didn't do much for the actual day. Our standard babysitters were out of town (we missed you guys!), and I like putting things off so I have more time to look forward to them, anyway, so that was fine. We'll probably go out for a nice dinner in a few weeks and call it a late celebration.

But I do have a story to share-- one of those "this is why our relationship works" sorts of stories.

So for Christmas, my aunt gave us a gift card to Crate & Barrel, which we decided to spend a couple weeks ago. Craig and I both had very different ideas of what we thought would be a good use for this money, so we weren't sure how we would come to an agreement. I figured we would look around, get ideas, and then discuss these ideas for the next couple of weeks until we found something we could agree on. This is actually our standard operating procedure. And while the preamble always seems like it should devolve into a big fight until one of us gets our way, the reality is that Craig and I are pretty good about not fighting over stuff like this (of course, saying so probably just jinxed our luck, but I'll say it anyway). It might take a while before we figure out what works for us, but we almost always arrive there without any angry moments along the way.

Anyway. We wandered all around Crate & Barrel looking for stuff that we wanted, needed, or just plain liked. Craig was thinking about place mats. I was thinking about a waffle maker. Or maybe one of those small mixers that you can use to make milkshakes or soups. We looked at casserole pans with lids. Cook books. Nesting bowls. There was a lot to choose from. And then out of the blue, Craig announces that he thinks we should get some good knives. I didn't even know that this was something we were considering, so I asked him to explain his reasoning.

"Well," he began, "we might make waffles twice a year. But you use our crappy knives every day. We may as well get you some nice ones that you can really use, you know?"

Why hadn't I thought of that?

So we got two lovely knives-- one is Japanese and the other is German and they're both supposed to be very well made and crazy sharp. (We also got a cake pan, but that's not what this story is about). I have to admit-- and I hope this doesn't sound too serial-killer of me-- I really love my knives. I used the big one for the first time on Valentine's Day. And it sliced through that onion like butter. I didn't realize a knife could be so sharp! It was beautiful! It was so fun cutting stuff up that when Craig tried it out, he ended up taking over and finished cutting the onion for me because he was enjoying using it so much. Because, yes, we are nerds like that, thank you very much.

The only thing I loved more than using that sharp knife was knowing that my husband knew what would make me happy better than I did. And that's pretty impressive, if you ask me.

Anything exciting or noteworthy from your Valentine's Day?

Trick

Bentley invented a new game, which Kendra naturally began copying, so they're both doing it pretty consistently now.

Before I get them dressed in the morning, they like to "trick" me by telling me that they're wearing underwear, when actually they're still wearing their pull-ups. Then, they will very sloooooooooowly unzip their sleepers until the truth is, well, revealed. All the suspense of a strip tease! Performed by my two kids! Early in the morning! To say it's a bit surreal would be an understatement.

This is not exactly what I imagined being a mommy would entail.

I don't know how I'm going to go about protecting Ryder from their influence.

Last Night

Everyone conspired to not let me sleep.

Craig and I were supposed to go to bed really early, but then Craig needed to go out and help a friend of ours. So that didn't happen. And since poor Craig has a miserable cold that was especially sad for him.

Once we were finally in bed, Craig went right to sleep. I stayed up a few minutes to read, which is what I always do. Before I could turn out the light, Kendra began her moaning-- something she started doing while she was sick over the holidays and has never completely quit. I had to get up twice and hand her the sippy cup that was in her bed with her. I'm not sure how to break her of this annoying habit. Then my mom called. Since Craig was already asleep and I was in bed, I didn't answer. But then I felt all guilty for ignoring a call.

I finally turned out the light. Ryder was up around midnight. Around two Bentley began kicking his door as loudly as he could because he was out of water. Nothing like the adrenaline rush of thinking your house is being kicked down to wake you up. (The really annoying thing about that was that his door was unlocked-- he could have just come into our room and asked for water!) And then of course, Craig's alarm clocks were going off from around 5:30 until 6:30 when he left for work. And Kendra woke me up at 7:00 with the one announcement no parent can ignore: "I hafta go potty."

What a night.

I spent a decent chunk of the morning feeling sorry for myself; I really don't do well without a good night's rest. The pity party continued until I began explaining to my sister on the phone why Craig had gone out last night: the problems my friend is dealing with-- which I feel should be kept confidential, so I'm not going to put details on my blog-- are so much bigger than anything I've faced in my entire life. The kind of problems where all you can really do is be a shoulder to cry on and reassure her that this isn't God punishing her.

And just like that my eyes refocused and I could see my frustrating lack of sleep for what it really was: a minor annoyance in a life that is otherwise very blessed and happy indeed.

Maybe tonight I'll get to sleep. But if not? It won't be the end of the world.

A Few Ryder Pictures

After that last post, I felt bad that Ryder wasn't included at all, so I figured I'd better post a few pictures of him, too. He's a great smiler these days, but as soon as I wave a camera in his face he usually just looks perplexed. So these were the best I could do.

And yes, weighing in just shy of 13 lbs, he is a chunk!

Too much flash. Oh, well.
All the stuffed animals behind Ryder are Kendra's favorites. She calls them her "babies."
Yup, a buffalo (you can just barely see it squeezed in between the husky and the elephant) is one of her babies...
It was nice of her to share them with Ryder, though...

I love this one.

Bentley and Kendra surrounded Ryder with toys so he wouldn't get bored.
You can barely find the baby in there!
And the look on Ryder's face seems so resigned to his fate..!

More later!

Video

My parents are in Hawaii right now (poor things, huh?), and so I need to give them a visual on the snow we've been experiencing. This was filmed on January 28th-- enjoy!

How I Met Craig

Just when I was thinking I had nothing to write about, my friend Nancy challenged anyone who read her blog to write the story of how they met their spouse. And since (a) I love talking about Craig and (b) I've been watching How I Met Your Mother obsessively these days, this is a challenge I am eager to accept. And besides, it's about time I wrote this all down. For those of you who know the story or were there when it happened, I give you a free Skip This Post pass. Just because I'm nice like that. And I will also warn you that I get excessively sappy by the end here. Sorry. But there are some things that I can't take too lightly because it would be ungrateful of me. And Craig is one of those things.


Craig and I met at the beginning of BYU's fall semester in 2004 when his roommate-- who was my friend-- set us up. The rest is history.

The end.




HA! Just kidding. Like I could ever tell a story that quickly! No, sorry, my friend. You're in for the long haul with this one. Get some popcorn and sit tight!



That first part is true, though. But there's a little bit of background info that I have to explain. Basically, I had just come back to BYU after having my heart broken by some evil guy. (How evil, you ask? The kind of guy who breaks up with you over email after you tell him you were disappointed that all he did was email you for your 25th birthday. The kind of guy who refuses to hold your hand and when it sort of hurts your feelings, tells you you're insecure. The kind of guy who you later find out was addicted to porn. The kind of guy who, after you're engaged to someone else, begs you to be a part of his life again, as friends. That kind of evil guy.) And, being heartbroken, I was determined to make the most of a new semester and the opportunity it presents to meet new guys. And see if there was any potential with any other guys in my life.

Which was why I found myself sitting on Jason's couch with his arm around me. Jason had started out as a study-buddy (one of those great kinds who comes to study sessions so well prepared that everyone else spends a few seconds feeling like a complete slacker and then vows to make sure they ALWAYS get him in their study group) and then progressed to being a genuinely good friend. When things were rocky with evil boy, he would give me a hug or even take me out on dates (yup, evil boy didn't mind that). And he was just touchy-feely enough for it to not mean much of anything when he had his arm around me.

Craig walked into the apartment and, being my charming self, I said to him, "Who are you?" I thought I had already met all the roommates, so I actually said it in a pretty rude tone of voice, especially considering that I was the one sitting in his apartment. Maybe it was the New Jersey in Craig, but he didn't seem to mind. He just introduced himself, "Hi, I'm Craig. I live here." And I think I apologized for being rude, but I'm not sure. I did at least tell him my name then.

At this point Jason, who had been trying to organize a group date for all his roommates, piped in with, "Who wants to take Alanna out this Friday?"

And Craig said, "I will."

I thought he was cute. So I was stoked. I was also impressed that he was willing to volunteer to take me out when some other guy had his arm around me. The boy had guts!

He asked for my number and programmed it into his phone (which was brand new, so I was the first number he put in it). I corrected his pronunciation of my name (something I have to do every time I meet someone for the first time). And we picked a place to eat dinner. My Dad had taught me that it was rude to make someone pay too much for you, and since this was practically a blind date, I chose my favorite cheap restaurant in Provo: Burgers Supreme. Craig had never eaten there, so I assured him that the fry sauce and the milkshakes were to die for. Everything was set!


The date was perfect. Except that Craig-- despite my insistence-- didn't order a milkshake for himself. Turns out he's allergic to milk. Oh, well. And if I'm going to be totally honest, some of the other girls involved in this group date were downright annoying. Two girls in particular made it a point to scream 2 seconds before anything exciting happened during the movie we watched (The Bourne Identity). That pretty much ruined the movie for Craig, who hadn't seen it before. But they didn't join us for the dinner part of the date, which was perfect. Craig and I got along splendidly the entire time. We just talked and laughed and talked and laughed.

The thing I remember most was when he was telling me about his experiences as an EFY counselor the previous summer. I asked if he'd had any tough kids to work with, and he admitted that one of his boys had been cutting himself. To this day I don't know why I did this, but I burst out laughing. And fortunately for me, so did Craig. And we've been laughing about this very serious, heart-breaking psychological problem ever since. Because we're terrible people like that. Even at the time I think I asked why we were laughing and we admitted that we probably shouldn't be, but that just made us laugh harder. (For all you Arrested Development fans out there, doesn't it make you think, "We had a lot of great laughs about some really sad things..."?)

We had such a great time together that we agreed that we should do something again some time. I already mentioned that I was in "search for a guy" mode. Lucky for me, Craig was in "new semester, try to be friendly to people" mode also. So we were both trying our best to get out and be social.

Unfortunately, before our second date, evil boy decided to pop back into the picture. He suddenly announced that perhaps he had been wrong to break up with me and maybe we should just get married. I ended up telling Craig this. I think my exact words were, "I might be getting engaged this weekend." To which he very kindly replied, "Maybe you should pray about that." and wished me well. I told him I'd give him a call if things didn't work out. Well, needless to say, they didn't. And suddenly I had a big mess on my hands. One date with a really great guy and I had done everything wrong: been rude, laughed at stuff that wasn't funny, and then proven that I was on the rebound. So I vowed to make up for it.

I was not someone who liked to chase a boy. Oh, sure-- I might stalk him and obsess over him, but I tried my best to not let him realize those facts. I even perfected a technique I called "reverse stalking" where I would plant myself in a place I knew the guy I liked would walk by, and then accuse him of stalking me. Brilliant! But in Craig's case, I made it pretty obvious that I liked him. I brought him sweet rolls when he was working on a project once (that was embarrassing. And it earned me the nickname "Honeybun Girl" from the guys in his major). I would call him up and say, "Here are five things I want to do this week. Which ones would you like to do with me?" And I shamelessly offered to make good use of the free tickets he got to all on-campus shows, thanks to the fact that he worked for the theater department.

I don't recommend throwing yourself at a guy. In most situations I would tell the girl to have more self-respect. But in Craig's case, it was actually perfect. Craig is not the type of guy to assume that a girl is in love with him. I once ran into a friend and we figured out that she had taken Craig to Preference when they were both freshmen. Despite the fact that she was married by this time, she told me all about how asking Craig had been a fiasco because the wrong Craig in the ward had been given her note asking him out and she'd had fix that to get the Craig she'd wanted and how she always thought of Craig as being her "secret treasure" because he was so quiet, but if you really listened to him, he was so funny and great. When I asked Craig about all this, he said, "Oh, yeah... I'm pretty sure she only asked me as a pity date." Sure, Craig. Girls always refer to pity dates as their secret treasures!

Knowing Craig the way I do now, I realize that playing hard-to-get was the kiss of death to any relationship with Craig. So it's lucky that wasn't my strategy.

Despite my best efforts, I continued to mess things up. One time all my plans got complicated and I ended up sitting at a football game with Carla (my best friend), Craig, and evil ex-boyfriend.

That was awkward.

But mostly for the ex. Craig, Carla and I had a great time. And I never let anything that ridiculous happen again. (It did make for a great picture, though.)

Craig, knowing I was on the rebound (and slightly suspicious of my motives when the football game incident occurred), took things very slowly. And even though I tease him about that now, it was probably for the best. It gave us time to really get to know each other and to gradually build up the emotional side of our relationship as well as the fun side. When he finally did kiss me (nearly four months after our first date), I was ecstatic. And things kept progressing from there until we both agreed that our relationship was just getting better and better and we should probably get married.

I hate those people who act like their marriage is a fairy tale romance. And so I don't like to brag about how happy Craig makes me all the time. But the fact of the matter is that Craig does make me happy all the time. My worst days are always the ones that he isn't a part of. And Craig has the remarkable ability to make me happy while simultaneously helping me be my best self. Shortly after evil boy broke my heart, I visited my mission president and his wife and had a good cry (with their very sympathetic dalmatian resting his head on my knee the entire time). Near the end of the visit, President Grames gave me a priesthood blessing. The thing I remember the most from it was when he said, "There is a young man who will bring you happiness that will exceed all your expectations." At the time, it sounded too good to hope for. But that man turned out to be Craig.

I am constantly amazed at the joy and happiness we have together.

At the Hill Cumorah Pageant when we were engaged

One of our engagement shots, photoshopped by Craig

Another engagement picture, but we didn't end up using this one.
It was a little too cheesy, although I still kind of like it!

Another engagement picture reject: my smile is way too big in this picture. Which is why I actually really like it...

So now I'm going to repeat Nancy's question: What's your story? I want to hear it! Please blog about it for me!