Free Range Kids

I am not a helicopter parent.  Sometimes that's something I'm proud of, and sometimes I'm a bit embarrassed by my laissez faire approach to parenting.  And-- like most things that matter tremendously to me-- there are times when I seriously question whether or not I'm doing it all wrong.

But deep down, I'm convinced that kids are meant to run free.  Probably a lot more than we allow them to.

Do I let my kids run free?  Heck, no.  The best they can hope for is playing in the backyard unsupervised, or in our next-door-neighbor's yard when I'm puttering around the house and can keep checking on them through the window.  But I want them to be able to run free eventually.

I grew up with 60 acres of woods behind my house, and the owner had told us he didn't mind a bit if we wandered back there, so it was pretty common for us to go on walks with our dog and just roam.  There were trails everywhere, abandoned strawberry fields, a lake, a ravine...  I don't think I went too awfully far without my Dad, and I'm sure I always had another sister or friend with me.  But we certainly spent plenty of time back there, completely out of sight and earshot from my Mom.  And it was fine.

Now here's the kicker: if I understand correctly, crime rates are actually lower now than ever before.  And the vast majority of children who are kidnapped are usually taken by a relative (often in cases where the parents have divorced).  So if anything, I should be less afraid of letting my kids out and about than my own mother was of letting me run free.

And for the most part, I am.

I'm pretty sure that if I let them walk home from school (especially Bentley and Kendra together!) they'd be just fine.  They know to look both ways before crossing the street.  Heck, the busiest scariest street they'd cross has a retired cop directing traffic and I'd trust my kids' lives with him in a heartbeat.  And they've known the way home for years now.  They wouldn't have any trouble walking home from school.  And quite frankly, it would save me the interruption of packing up Ryder and Colton and getting them to the school so I can wait around until my kids come out and then turn around and head right back home again.  Picking the kids up every day is kind of a big pain, it turns out.

So why don't I let them walk home?  That's easy: I'm afraid that I would get in trouble.  And articles like this tell me I'm right to worry-- we live in a society where people's "concern" manifests itself by reporting you to the authorities, not by actually helping you out or asking you if what you're doing is  a good idea and letting you explain yourself.  And once you have Child Protective Services involved, it often seems like your choices are limited to a) doing everything these government employees tell you to do or b) having your kids taken away from you.  And that's really not much of a choice now, is it?

So my parenting choices are being made not by what I think is best for my children, but by what I'm afraid of getting in trouble for.  Does anyone else think that this a terrible way to make decisions?  How am I supposed to teach my children independence when the government doesn't even trust ME to make decisions for their well-being?