Thursday, November 18, 2010

Coping Strategies

Between work and the elder's quorum temple trip, I saw Craig for about 20 minutes today. These are not the kinds of days that I relish, and for those of you with husbands who frequently work long hours, you have so much sympathy from me. I know myself well enough to know that I do not cope well with that. However, I have learned how to cope with the occasional long day. And I'm sort of proud of myself for that. Here are some of the key points, for me:

1) Low expectations. This is a marathon sort of day that you have to survive. So don't plan tons of cleaning or a fancy dinner. Today is about making sure everyone is fed and fairly happy, however that needs to happen. And besides, if the kids are happier with macaroni and cheese than anything I actually cook, why stress myself out like that? We had a frozen pizza tonight and no one complained.

2) Other adult contact. It's funny, because I can be fine with just me and the kids all day, but then suddenly at night, if I haven't had any real conversations, I'll find myself plagued by loneliness, boredom, and just a general case of the blues. Other people might not have this problem, but knowing I do means I can combat it. In today's case, I had a great friend over for most of the morning and then spent a plenty of time at night talking on the phone with another friend and my Dad. No feelings of loneliness tonight.

3) Put the kids to bed early. It's been a long day, we're all tired. Why not? I let them have the lights on reading until their real bedtime, so I wasn't exactly a tyrant about this. We were all happier for it.

4) Simplify. The other benefit to the frozen pizza? Easiest clean-up ever. My kitchen is clean and it took less than 20 minutes. I'm happy on all fronts.

5) Do something fun. After the kitchen was clean and the kids' light was out, I just watched TV. It's not something I do very often by myself, but on the rare occasion like tonight, it's sort of nice to just be a bum. (Okay, okay, I might have folded laundry while I watched, but if you want to just kick back and relax, I certainly won't fault you for it.)

6) Take a nap. This isn't always necessary, but since Kendra woke up three times last night from nightmares that we were abandoning her (at least, this is what I'm guessing, since each time she began crying and yelling, "Where is everybody? Don't leave me!"), I was even more tired than normal. So, yes, I indulged in a ridiculously long nap. The kids were cooperative enough to allow this to happen. And I felt loads better for it.

I think that's it. How do you survive days like this?

6 comments:

Jen Evans said...

I am becoming more and more of a mallrat because of days like this. We go to Target to pick up something like socks, and then just stroll around the mall at the most leisurely pace. The crazy hobo is starting to recognize us, and I wave to him when we see him. No lie.

Nancy said...

I'm along the same lines as Jen. There are days when I'm cool with being home all day and all night with just me and the kids. And then there are days when I just decide to take the kids to Target and walk around or we hit Borders. Even if it's just for a few minutes, it gets us out and does wonders for me.

Alanna said...

You guys are clearly not afraid of being cold like I am. In the summer I'm all about being out and about and going places. As soon as the weather cools off, dragging myself out of the house almost always feels like a chore. I'm such a homebody, it's kind of pathetic.

Nicole said...

my sister (who has three kids and is married to a doctor who isn't home every night) does a lot of these same things--especially kraft dinner and adult contact. great minds... :)

)en said...

yeah, i have to have the adult conversation. Which is weird because i always thought i got along better with kids, and am kind of a social recluse anyway, but yeah, these days, gotta talk to people.

And then I might purposely put the babe down for an earlier nap which = earlier bed time which = movie & Thai food for Jen. Bliss. Gotta have the occasional mini-party with myself.

Natalie R. said...

Yeah, those are all the big things to do. Definitely an early bed time, that's essential! And it's a night where I can watch whatever I want and I can eat whatever I want for dinner. I definitely have a "no cooking" policy for nights when Cameron is working really late or is on call.

My friend's husband is getting home tonight after being in Ecuador for the last three weeks! As if that weren't bad enough, he's been doing away rotations since July, so this whole time they've seen each other once a week or less - kill me now!!! I'm so relieved for her that he's finally coming home, I don't know how she's handled being a single mom for so long!