Hey, all! So I just wanted to explain one minor change I've made to this blog. A while ago when (I think?) google bought out blogger, it somehow changed so that I didn't get any email notification when people left comments! This means that I have, occasionally, been known to sit reloading my own blog in case there were comments that I wasn't seeing. Which is a little on the pathetic side, I have to admit.
So in order to not do that, I've given myself the power to moderate comments. Which is totally unnecessary, because none of you has ever left comments that needed any censoring on my part. You guys are great commenters!
But hopefully this way I can get back to receiving an email if someone leaves a comment, rather than having to hit the re-load button. Then I won't have to feel so lame, which would be nice.
Soon up-- the full report on Christmas!
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Someone is Lying to Me
You know how those parenting magazines are always telling you to let your toddler help you out around the house? "Little kids love to help out!" they'll gush, followed up by some testimonial of how some parent rewards their child for doing these chores and everyone is just so happy and pleased with the whole situation.
It's not that they're wrong-- Ryder LOVES to help me fold laundry. If your definition of "help me fold" is "jump on everything and/or throw it on the floor." He also loves to help me empty the dishwasher. This usually just means he hands everything to me. That wouldn't be too much of a problem except the first thing he grabs are usually the knives. Or anything made of glass. So it makes emptying the dishwasher feel like an Olympic race against disaster. On the plus side, I can get the dishwasher emptied in about three minutes flat. Possibly less, if I washed a lot of knives that time around.
That isn't the real problem, though. The real problem is Ryder's perpetually snotty nose. Which was rounded off nicely this week with a nasty cough. And since toddlers pretty much love nothing more than rubbing at their snotty noses with their hands (and then wiping those hands anywhere that suits their fancy), the absolute last thing I want is him touching my clean dishes!
So I tend to not be very good about letting Ryder help me.
One of my many failings as a parent for which I am unapologetic.
And now, I need to go try and wash snot off my throw pillows.
It's not that they're wrong-- Ryder LOVES to help me fold laundry. If your definition of "help me fold" is "jump on everything and/or throw it on the floor." He also loves to help me empty the dishwasher. This usually just means he hands everything to me. That wouldn't be too much of a problem except the first thing he grabs are usually the knives. Or anything made of glass. So it makes emptying the dishwasher feel like an Olympic race against disaster. On the plus side, I can get the dishwasher emptied in about three minutes flat. Possibly less, if I washed a lot of knives that time around.
That isn't the real problem, though. The real problem is Ryder's perpetually snotty nose. Which was rounded off nicely this week with a nasty cough. And since toddlers pretty much love nothing more than rubbing at their snotty noses with their hands (and then wiping those hands anywhere that suits their fancy), the absolute last thing I want is him touching my clean dishes!
So I tend to not be very good about letting Ryder help me.
One of my many failings as a parent for which I am unapologetic.
And now, I need to go try and wash snot off my throw pillows.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Ryder Talking
Ryder has lots to say. But most of it isn't in any language that I can understand. Right before his 2-year check up, Craig and I tried to count all his words. And we couldn't make it to ten. (His doctor has recommended he be evaluated for speech therapy. My plan is to get around to that some time after Christmas... Mostly I'm just hoping that by then Ryder will have blossomed into a talking fool and I won't have to bother at all.)
The funny thing is, for all that he doesn't say, the words he can say keep changing! He used to just say, "Yah!" (He sort of sounded German, actually. Or possibly Russian? Except with more joyous enthusiasm than I picture emanating from either of those cultures...) Then it morphed into "Yep!" (still enthusiastic). And now it's turned into "Yesh!" So can I count those as three words? My favorite was the other morning when I gave him his morning bottle of warm milk and tucked him back into his crib for a few more minutes of sleepy time. I kissed his forehead, whispered, "I love you, Ryder," and he heartily responded, "Ah, yesh!"
Ah, yes, of course you love me, mommy! I love the confidence.
Of course he can say Mommy and Daddy, although he likes to call me other things that I don't really understand, like I think he calls me Abba sometimes or something. "Rara" can refer to Kendra or Bentley and I think possibly himself, too. He also says doggy, although that sounds suspiciously like Daddy... And seeing pretty much any grown man makes him miss Daddy and start yelling for him. That, or else he has really bad vision, because he thinks pretty much every male cast member of Glee looks like Daddy... Despite this limited vocabulary, he manages to express a lot. My favorite is when he'll walk into a room, raise his hands up questioningly and wonder, "Daddeee...?" It gets the message across just as well as a "Where is" would have! He even would sing a song that consisted of crooning, "Momma, Dadda, Dadda, Momma." And it was really sweet.
Just recently he added his first adjective to his vocabulary, and that word is: cool.
And it only applies to cars. And only certain cars, at that. He will empty my diaper bag searching for "Coo coo cars" and the ones that don't meet this criteria get tossed aside.
So now the Momma Dadda song has been replaced by a Coo Coo Car song.
Naturally.
He's also recently started adding "f" sounds to the ends of words. So "car" has become "carf," which-- when you can't say "r's," just sounds like "cough." And "no" has become "nofe." I have no idea why.
I guess he's just figuring things out in that head of his. Some day I'll hear all about it, I'm sure! But in the meantime, I'm glad we have such cool cool cars for him to play with!
The funny thing is, for all that he doesn't say, the words he can say keep changing! He used to just say, "Yah!" (He sort of sounded German, actually. Or possibly Russian? Except with more joyous enthusiasm than I picture emanating from either of those cultures...) Then it morphed into "Yep!" (still enthusiastic). And now it's turned into "Yesh!" So can I count those as three words? My favorite was the other morning when I gave him his morning bottle of warm milk and tucked him back into his crib for a few more minutes of sleepy time. I kissed his forehead, whispered, "I love you, Ryder," and he heartily responded, "Ah, yesh!"
Ah, yes, of course you love me, mommy! I love the confidence.
Of course he can say Mommy and Daddy, although he likes to call me other things that I don't really understand, like I think he calls me Abba sometimes or something. "Rara" can refer to Kendra or Bentley and I think possibly himself, too. He also says doggy, although that sounds suspiciously like Daddy... And seeing pretty much any grown man makes him miss Daddy and start yelling for him. That, or else he has really bad vision, because he thinks pretty much every male cast member of Glee looks like Daddy... Despite this limited vocabulary, he manages to express a lot. My favorite is when he'll walk into a room, raise his hands up questioningly and wonder, "Daddeee...?" It gets the message across just as well as a "Where is" would have! He even would sing a song that consisted of crooning, "Momma, Dadda, Dadda, Momma." And it was really sweet.
Just recently he added his first adjective to his vocabulary, and that word is: cool.
And it only applies to cars. And only certain cars, at that. He will empty my diaper bag searching for "Coo coo cars" and the ones that don't meet this criteria get tossed aside.
So now the Momma Dadda song has been replaced by a Coo Coo Car song.
Naturally.
He's also recently started adding "f" sounds to the ends of words. So "car" has become "carf," which-- when you can't say "r's," just sounds like "cough." And "no" has become "nofe." I have no idea why.
I guess he's just figuring things out in that head of his. Some day I'll hear all about it, I'm sure! But in the meantime, I'm glad we have such cool cool cars for him to play with!
Monday, December 17, 2012
That Whole Pants Thing
I didn't hear about the feminist call to arms until CJane blogged about it. And I will admit right here and now that I never bothered to read the original blog posts that got it all started. Because I already knew that I wasn't interested in wearing pants to church-- partly because skirts are a LOT more comfortable in my pregnant state, but mostly because I don't think it's appropriate to stage a protest at church. I go to church to worship. And I go to see my friends and to do the things I'm asked to do-- teach lessons, herd children around, provide a musical number, or whatever. I go so that I can strengthen my own testimony. And partake of the sacrament and renew my covenants.
The way our church is run, wherein we believe that our leaders are called by God, I'm not sure that it's ever appropriate to stage a protest. But if you do have problems with the church (and these problems don't mean that you simply stop going), I guess a more appropriate outlet would be to write to the leaders or something. Wearing pants one Sunday is such a localized thing, I can't see how it would really accomplish anything.
So I didn't really agree with the pants protest (and admittedly, maybe reading the actual sources would have changed my mind, but I kind of doubt it). And in light of Friday's tragedy, worrying about a Sunday dress code seemed beyond silly to me. There are so many more serious problems in our world that we should be working to address than the issue of what we wear to church (especially in a church where the official statement on dress and grooming doesn't mention anything as specific as whether or not women should wear pants).
But I will admit that I really enjoyed reading many of the other blog posts that sprung up-- the discussion that this protest generated was fascinating to me, and a lot of posts really spoke to me. So if you've been following the pants protest, here are my favorite contributions to the dialogue:
Heather, at Women in the Scriptures, wrote about how she would be wearing a skirt, but wouldn't be bothered by others wearing pants. She then talked about how she had learned not to "shelve" issues she had, but rather to think of putting them on a stair, and she would strive to climb to that point where she had reached understanding. Beautiful. I sometimes worry that I'm a little too good at putting things on the shelf and forgetting about them. Using issues to find things to study and pray about and ultimately strengthen your testimony is a much better way of dealing with the questions we will all inevitably have about religion.
Jessie, at Bloggity-Blog, had my favorite list of points both for and against the pants thing. I pretty much agreed with everything she said. And she's funny, too, so bonus points for that!
And then Brandon went and summed up all the feelings about Book of Mormon Girl that I hadn't bothered to acknowledge to myself and in the same blog post, linked the single best explanation of Mormon Feminism that I have EVER read. Honestly, it blew me away. If you only click on one link in this whole post, choose that last one. I think I need to read it again, it was so rich in doctrine.
So, yeah, to sum up: I didn't particularly agree with Pants Day, but I did enjoy the discussion it engendered.
(See what I did there?)
The way our church is run, wherein we believe that our leaders are called by God, I'm not sure that it's ever appropriate to stage a protest. But if you do have problems with the church (and these problems don't mean that you simply stop going), I guess a more appropriate outlet would be to write to the leaders or something. Wearing pants one Sunday is such a localized thing, I can't see how it would really accomplish anything.
So I didn't really agree with the pants protest (and admittedly, maybe reading the actual sources would have changed my mind, but I kind of doubt it). And in light of Friday's tragedy, worrying about a Sunday dress code seemed beyond silly to me. There are so many more serious problems in our world that we should be working to address than the issue of what we wear to church (especially in a church where the official statement on dress and grooming doesn't mention anything as specific as whether or not women should wear pants).
But I will admit that I really enjoyed reading many of the other blog posts that sprung up-- the discussion that this protest generated was fascinating to me, and a lot of posts really spoke to me. So if you've been following the pants protest, here are my favorite contributions to the dialogue:
Heather, at Women in the Scriptures, wrote about how she would be wearing a skirt, but wouldn't be bothered by others wearing pants. She then talked about how she had learned not to "shelve" issues she had, but rather to think of putting them on a stair, and she would strive to climb to that point where she had reached understanding. Beautiful. I sometimes worry that I'm a little too good at putting things on the shelf and forgetting about them. Using issues to find things to study and pray about and ultimately strengthen your testimony is a much better way of dealing with the questions we will all inevitably have about religion.
Jessie, at Bloggity-Blog, had my favorite list of points both for and against the pants thing. I pretty much agreed with everything she said. And she's funny, too, so bonus points for that!
And then Brandon went and summed up all the feelings about Book of Mormon Girl that I hadn't bothered to acknowledge to myself and in the same blog post, linked the single best explanation of Mormon Feminism that I have EVER read. Honestly, it blew me away. If you only click on one link in this whole post, choose that last one. I think I need to read it again, it was so rich in doctrine.
So, yeah, to sum up: I didn't particularly agree with Pants Day, but I did enjoy the discussion it engendered.
(See what I did there?)
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Visiting Santa
For the second year now, our ward Christmas party didn't include Santa coming. Last year I understood how it didn't mesh with the theme of "Breakfast in Jerusalem" very well. But I have no idea why he wasn't here this time-- we have a guy with a great Santa suit who LOVES being Santa, so for crying out loud why are we not making good use of this??? (And for anyone out there arguing that we ought to be focusing on Jesus, I say that there's plenty of room in a kid's heart for ALL of that magic. And a Bah Humbug to you for even suggesting it!)
Anyway. This left us trying to find our own way to get the kids to visit Santa. Which is tough since I despise the local mall and don't want to pay a fortune for a portrait there. Fortunately, just like last year, a good friend came through for me! This time it was Sarah, who told me that they had a lovely Santa set-up at the Merrifield Nursery nearby AND it was free AND, she said, the Santa was AWESOME. And she was right. We had to wait a little while to see the Big Guy, but that was because he sat and chatted with the kids for a good ten minutes before they bothered to snap any pictures. And it's a good thing he did, because that time breaking the ice was the only reason that Bentley and Ryder were willing to step foot near him.
He was a real pro, though. When Kendra announced that she wanted a horse for Christmas (!!!), he looked at her seriously and asked if we had a barn for a horse. She told him it could stay in the house or possibly our shed, but he insisted that those weren't very good options for a horse. Thank you, Santa. He smiled at Bentley's suggestion that what Ryder needed was something to put in his mouth that would make him be able to talk. And when he asked if the kids were getting along and I gave them the sideways glance, he told them that it made Mommy, Santa, and God sad when they were fighting. They nodded seriously and promised to do better.
All of you in Manassas-- go check out Merrifield Nursery (off of Wellington Road)! It's definitely worth the wait!
Anyway. This left us trying to find our own way to get the kids to visit Santa. Which is tough since I despise the local mall and don't want to pay a fortune for a portrait there. Fortunately, just like last year, a good friend came through for me! This time it was Sarah, who told me that they had a lovely Santa set-up at the Merrifield Nursery nearby AND it was free AND, she said, the Santa was AWESOME. And she was right. We had to wait a little while to see the Big Guy, but that was because he sat and chatted with the kids for a good ten minutes before they bothered to snap any pictures. And it's a good thing he did, because that time breaking the ice was the only reason that Bentley and Ryder were willing to step foot near him.
He was a real pro, though. When Kendra announced that she wanted a horse for Christmas (!!!), he looked at her seriously and asked if we had a barn for a horse. She told him it could stay in the house or possibly our shed, but he insisted that those weren't very good options for a horse. Thank you, Santa. He smiled at Bentley's suggestion that what Ryder needed was something to put in his mouth that would make him be able to talk. And when he asked if the kids were getting along and I gave them the sideways glance, he told them that it made Mommy, Santa, and God sad when they were fighting. They nodded seriously and promised to do better.
All of you in Manassas-- go check out Merrifield Nursery (off of Wellington Road)! It's definitely worth the wait!
One of My Favorite Pictures
I'm working on sorting out the storage capacities of this blog. I deleted a few albums off my Picassa web account (now I just have to hope that our computer somehow gets destroyed, since they're only saved in one place), so for now I have a little more space. Enough to share this gem from the Thanksgiving Day parade:
Whether you like Sponge Bob or hate him, this is a totally creepy picture. It looks like he's about to eat Kendra and me.
Which is kind of what makes it awesome.
Ten days until Christmas, and Craig and I just finished our shopping yesterday-- that extra week of November really helped us out! I can't remember a time when we were so on top of things!
Merry merry Christmas, everyone! (To be repeated in every blog post until the joyous day!)
Whether you like Sponge Bob or hate him, this is a totally creepy picture. It looks like he's about to eat Kendra and me.
Which is kind of what makes it awesome.
Ten days until Christmas, and Craig and I just finished our shopping yesterday-- that extra week of November really helped us out! I can't remember a time when we were so on top of things!
Merry merry Christmas, everyone! (To be repeated in every blog post until the joyous day!)
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Too True
Rebecca Smylie is one of several people who I have never met, but whose blog I follow. I hope that doesn't make me creepy. (One of my sisters knows her. And a friend. And I did a guest post on the blog she and a few other people used to write for called The Apron Stage. So I feel like I ought to know her... I'm not sure if that makes me more or less creepy, though...) (Also, if by any chance you want to be creepy like me, her blog is linked on my sidebar over there on the left.) Anyway, she just had her third child, and wrote the following on her blog:
"A couple of days after we brought him home I had this moment where I did a mental check to make sure I knew where all of my kids were. Jane in the bedroom. Adelaide in the living room. Levi Little in his chair. I felt my mind split in three directions and knew I would forever be that much more divided. I can actually feel my mind working slower. So there’s more love in our life, but also I’m dumber. (Come to think of it, that makes a lot of sense.)"
I love that paragraph. A lot. It sums up my life so perfectly: So much love. But not a lot of brain power left over.
Every so often I'll pick up my master's thesis and flip through it. This act invariably causes me to think to myself, "Wow, I used to know a lot of big words!" Oh, well. I'll re-learn them all some day...
"A couple of days after we brought him home I had this moment where I did a mental check to make sure I knew where all of my kids were. Jane in the bedroom. Adelaide in the living room. Levi Little in his chair. I felt my mind split in three directions and knew I would forever be that much more divided. I can actually feel my mind working slower. So there’s more love in our life, but also I’m dumber. (Come to think of it, that makes a lot of sense.)"
I love that paragraph. A lot. It sums up my life so perfectly: So much love. But not a lot of brain power left over.
Every so often I'll pick up my master's thesis and flip through it. This act invariably causes me to think to myself, "Wow, I used to know a lot of big words!" Oh, well. I'll re-learn them all some day...
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Oof, Part II
As I was cleaning the house yesterday, I felt grumpy and stressed. This isn't terribly unusual-- trying to get the house clean for a set time usually makes me a little grumpy and stressed. But this felt more extreme than usual. I mean, I was really annoyed with my life and feeling hard-done-by and way too busy and all that woe-is-me stuff. It wasn't pretty.
And then it hit me-- my week had looked like this:
Last Friday, I cleaned house in preparation for my in-laws coming (to celebrate Ryder's birthday).
Then the next day, Saturday, I did more cleaning and a deeper cleaning because my parents were coming.
And then Monday and Wednesday night I cleaned the house because I was hosting preschool the next day (and which required quite a bit of cleaning after the kids left).
And then I was back at it on Friday again, this time because my in-laws were coming to babysit so Craig and I could attend the temple.
And not that I enjoy living in squalor or anything, but that is a HECK of a lot of cleaning for me. No wonder I was feeling like my life was hard (despite the birthday parties and date nights)!
So right now, I'm looking at the huge disaster of toys that exploded all over the downstairs and smiling to myself because today I do NOT CARE ONE BIT about that mess. To heck with it all-- I'm going to do some blogging!
And then it hit me-- my week had looked like this:
Last Friday, I cleaned house in preparation for my in-laws coming (to celebrate Ryder's birthday).
Then the next day, Saturday, I did more cleaning and a deeper cleaning because my parents were coming.
And then Monday and Wednesday night I cleaned the house because I was hosting preschool the next day (and which required quite a bit of cleaning after the kids left).
And then I was back at it on Friday again, this time because my in-laws were coming to babysit so Craig and I could attend the temple.
And not that I enjoy living in squalor or anything, but that is a HECK of a lot of cleaning for me. No wonder I was feeling like my life was hard (despite the birthday parties and date nights)!
So right now, I'm looking at the huge disaster of toys that exploded all over the downstairs and smiling to myself because today I do NOT CARE ONE BIT about that mess. To heck with it all-- I'm going to do some blogging!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Oof.
Sorry I'm having a hard time blogging right now. I find very few things more annoying than a private blog that never updates, so if you keep checking here and finding nothing new, I really do apologize. Things have been-- and will continue to be-- a little insane around here. This is my month to teach Kendra's preschool, and then add to that the usual business of taking care of three kids and getting us all to the various doctor/midwife appointments and all the church stuff I've got going on, and I'm feeling just a little bit stressed.
But the real killer is that I have used up all my storage space, so blogger won't let me put up any more pictures. After asking my facebook peeps what to do about that, I have some good ideas of how I can remedy the situation, but they all take a certain amount of time that I just don't have right now. So all those pictures I'm dying to show you of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? Including an AWESOME one of Sponge Bob hovering above Kendra and I in a completely creepy manner? On the back burner for now. Hopefully around Christmas break I'll get it all sorted out (probably with some help from Craig).
I'm not saying I won't be posting anything until then-- like I could keep my mouth shut for that long!-- I'm just saying the things I want to write about are just no fun without their accompanying pictures.
Bear with me-- it will all get worked out eventually!
But the real killer is that I have used up all my storage space, so blogger won't let me put up any more pictures. After asking my facebook peeps what to do about that, I have some good ideas of how I can remedy the situation, but they all take a certain amount of time that I just don't have right now. So all those pictures I'm dying to show you of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? Including an AWESOME one of Sponge Bob hovering above Kendra and I in a completely creepy manner? On the back burner for now. Hopefully around Christmas break I'll get it all sorted out (probably with some help from Craig).
I'm not saying I won't be posting anything until then-- like I could keep my mouth shut for that long!-- I'm just saying the things I want to write about are just no fun without their accompanying pictures.
Bear with me-- it will all get worked out eventually!
Monday, November 26, 2012
The Decision
Last week, Craig and I finally made our decision and hired a midwife.
I can't tell you how excited I am about this. As of today, I am 25 weeks pregnant, and I have spent most of that time worrying about how best to bring this baby into the world. After three really lousy hospital experiences (all of which were bad for very different reasons), I'm calling a "three strikes, you're out" and throwing in the towel on hospitals. I am planning to have a home birth.
Now, I realize that lots of people think that people who give birth at home are crazy. I understand that line of thinking because up until Kendra's accidental home birth, I totally agreed with it. People would ask if I was going to have her at home and I would laugh at them and remind them that I wasn't insane. Until she was born at home. And I realized that that was the best experience (and BY FAR the easiest labor) I've had. And until Ryder's birth was so awful. And then I started to wonder if I wasn't the crazy one for even considering going back to a hospital when it just wasn't what I wanted for my baby's birth.
I started reading more and more about labor and birth. I started reading birth blogs by other LDS women who felt strongly that Heavenly Father cared about how His children were born. And it made me feel that it was in my baby's (and my) best interest to do everything I could to ensure that my care provider was someone I trusted, which, as I've said before, was impossible with the way my insurance works right now. The more I learned and thought about all this, the greater my desire for a planned home birth became. There are so many aspects of a hospital birth that I don't want and so many things about a birth that I do want. And while the hospital tours here all emphasize that they want everything to go the way you want it to go, the reality is that this rarely happens, and you have to fight for it every step of the way-- a lot of the things they do happen before you even realize what's going on, you're just so busy being relieved that labor is over. (I know of plenty of people who have had wonderful experiences in hospitals birthing their babies, so I don't mean this in ANY WAY to be critical of you if that's how it's worked for you-- this is all solely based on my own rather anecdotal BAD experiences. So please don't take this as a criticism of people who are happy to go to the hospital! Honestly, I sort of wish I could have that experience-- my life would be easier and this all would have been a lot cheaper had they worked out that way!)
But I need to fight for the labor I want.
And what I want is to labor as peacefully as possible, without people poking needles into my arms and wrists, smearing goop on my swollen tummy which then makes the hospital gown stick to me like some slimy, cheap sheet, and feels absolutely awful, only to further the uncomfortableness by strapping things around that same swollen stomach and yelling at me if I move. I don't want some stranger that I just met that day sticking their fingers up inside me and then threatening me with procedures I don't want or need if I haven't dilated enough to satisfy them.
When it comes time to push, I don't want people screaming at me that I'm doing it wrong, that I shouldn't be doing it yet, that I have to lay down on my back, or anything else for that matter. I want someone to encourage me and tell me I'm doing great. I want someone to tell me that we can see his head and then to bask with me in what a miracle this all is that I am pushing a living human being out into the world to take his first breath.
And then, when that moment comes, I want to be handed my baby all naked and wiggly the moment he is born. I don't want him washed, poked, prodded, and wrapped up before I even get to see him and hold him. I want them to wait a bit before cutting the cord so he can get that last little bit of cord blood that might be beneficial to him. I want to skip the Hep-A vaccine, since he won't be at risk for that anywhere that I will be taking him. (We'll do it later, when he's a little older and his immune system has had some time to mature. I'm not anti-vaccinations, I'm just pro-waiting on vaccinations.) I don't want his eyes smeared with ointment to protect him from chlamydia, because it turns out that I don't have-- have NEVER had-- any STDs (one of the many perks to following the rules of my church, it turns out!)-- I want my baby to be able to look around and see his mommy and daddy this first hour of his life. I used to be grossed out by the idea of being handed a baby still covered in amniotic fluid, vernix, and who-knows-what-else, but I've done it enough times now to understand that I'm pretty gross by the end of labor, too. So who cares if we're a bit messy together? We'll both get baths in a bit, and that will be just fine.
I want to be in my home where I feel safe and secure and loved. I want my other children close by, not separated from me for several scary days while they try to process this new addition to the family without their mommy nearby to help. I want them to meet their baby brother right away and also feel the specialness of new life.
I understand things don't always go as planned. Maybe something will happen that will force me back to the hospital for the good of my baby. Maybe my midwife will turn out to be as mean as the doctors. But I am trying to do everything within my power to make this into the experience I dream it can be. And for now, that's everything I can do.
I can't tell you how excited I am about this. As of today, I am 25 weeks pregnant, and I have spent most of that time worrying about how best to bring this baby into the world. After three really lousy hospital experiences (all of which were bad for very different reasons), I'm calling a "three strikes, you're out" and throwing in the towel on hospitals. I am planning to have a home birth.
Now, I realize that lots of people think that people who give birth at home are crazy. I understand that line of thinking because up until Kendra's accidental home birth, I totally agreed with it. People would ask if I was going to have her at home and I would laugh at them and remind them that I wasn't insane. Until she was born at home. And I realized that that was the best experience (and BY FAR the easiest labor) I've had. And until Ryder's birth was so awful. And then I started to wonder if I wasn't the crazy one for even considering going back to a hospital when it just wasn't what I wanted for my baby's birth.
I started reading more and more about labor and birth. I started reading birth blogs by other LDS women who felt strongly that Heavenly Father cared about how His children were born. And it made me feel that it was in my baby's (and my) best interest to do everything I could to ensure that my care provider was someone I trusted, which, as I've said before, was impossible with the way my insurance works right now. The more I learned and thought about all this, the greater my desire for a planned home birth became. There are so many aspects of a hospital birth that I don't want and so many things about a birth that I do want. And while the hospital tours here all emphasize that they want everything to go the way you want it to go, the reality is that this rarely happens, and you have to fight for it every step of the way-- a lot of the things they do happen before you even realize what's going on, you're just so busy being relieved that labor is over. (I know of plenty of people who have had wonderful experiences in hospitals birthing their babies, so I don't mean this in ANY WAY to be critical of you if that's how it's worked for you-- this is all solely based on my own rather anecdotal BAD experiences. So please don't take this as a criticism of people who are happy to go to the hospital! Honestly, I sort of wish I could have that experience-- my life would be easier and this all would have been a lot cheaper had they worked out that way!)
But I need to fight for the labor I want.
And what I want is to labor as peacefully as possible, without people poking needles into my arms and wrists, smearing goop on my swollen tummy which then makes the hospital gown stick to me like some slimy, cheap sheet, and feels absolutely awful, only to further the uncomfortableness by strapping things around that same swollen stomach and yelling at me if I move. I don't want some stranger that I just met that day sticking their fingers up inside me and then threatening me with procedures I don't want or need if I haven't dilated enough to satisfy them.
When it comes time to push, I don't want people screaming at me that I'm doing it wrong, that I shouldn't be doing it yet, that I have to lay down on my back, or anything else for that matter. I want someone to encourage me and tell me I'm doing great. I want someone to tell me that we can see his head and then to bask with me in what a miracle this all is that I am pushing a living human being out into the world to take his first breath.
And then, when that moment comes, I want to be handed my baby all naked and wiggly the moment he is born. I don't want him washed, poked, prodded, and wrapped up before I even get to see him and hold him. I want them to wait a bit before cutting the cord so he can get that last little bit of cord blood that might be beneficial to him. I want to skip the Hep-A vaccine, since he won't be at risk for that anywhere that I will be taking him. (We'll do it later, when he's a little older and his immune system has had some time to mature. I'm not anti-vaccinations, I'm just pro-waiting on vaccinations.) I don't want his eyes smeared with ointment to protect him from chlamydia, because it turns out that I don't have-- have NEVER had-- any STDs (one of the many perks to following the rules of my church, it turns out!)-- I want my baby to be able to look around and see his mommy and daddy this first hour of his life. I used to be grossed out by the idea of being handed a baby still covered in amniotic fluid, vernix, and who-knows-what-else, but I've done it enough times now to understand that I'm pretty gross by the end of labor, too. So who cares if we're a bit messy together? We'll both get baths in a bit, and that will be just fine.
I want to be in my home where I feel safe and secure and loved. I want my other children close by, not separated from me for several scary days while they try to process this new addition to the family without their mommy nearby to help. I want them to meet their baby brother right away and also feel the specialness of new life.
I understand things don't always go as planned. Maybe something will happen that will force me back to the hospital for the good of my baby. Maybe my midwife will turn out to be as mean as the doctors. But I am trying to do everything within my power to make this into the experience I dream it can be. And for now, that's everything I can do.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
This Is Why We Don't Try to Have Meaningful Discussions Before 9am
I'm a little bit on the bipolar side in the morning. If it's a sleep-in day for me, all Craig can really expect from me as he leaves for work is a grunted "I love you." And I figure that's being pretty generous. But. If it's a morning where I get up early and go walking with Vangie, then Craig gets me all wide awake and chatty. I might even cross over into bubbly and perky. He's not really sure which version of me is harder to deal with at 6:30 in the morning.
This morning was a walking day, and a day where I'm excited for our trip this afternoon, so I popped out of the shower filled with energy, which manifested itself in the absolutely need to talk about Glee with him. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: I don't like the new character Kitty. I mean, she's supposed to be all Christian mean girl-- which is already a cliche that bugs me-- but then she's like some sort of hybrid of Quinn and Santana, but she's not pretty or funny or anything. I mean, why would anyone like her?
Craig: I don't know... I mean, isn't that sort of the point? She thinks she's all that but NO ONE really likes her, not even her lover. That's what makes her funny.
(I'll admit that at this point I was kind of surprised. Craig doesn't even like Glee, he mostly just tolerates it to humor me. So really? He's defending one of its lamest characters ever?)
Me, persisting: But she's not even pretty! When TV characters are supposed to be pretty and aren't, that kind of offends me!
Craig: Yeah, but she's still really funny!
Me: You think she's funny? Really? I don't think she's all that funny... Not like Sue Sylvester is...
Craig: Oh, come on. How many times have we quoted her line, "And say good-bye to these, 'cuz it's the last time you'll see them!"?
And THAT'S when I realized that Craig was talking about Kitty from Arrested Development.
Who is also not particularly pretty. But is DANG funny. And quotable. And a great character for a TV show to have.
And then we laughed about the mix-up. And then we breathed a sigh of relief that our marriage wasn't in trouble after all. Craig was starting to worry that if we couldn't agree on the awesomeness of Arrested Development, what could we possibly have left? Because I mean, if you can't agree on the basics like this, where do you go from there?
This morning was a walking day, and a day where I'm excited for our trip this afternoon, so I popped out of the shower filled with energy, which manifested itself in the absolutely need to talk about Glee with him. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: I don't like the new character Kitty. I mean, she's supposed to be all Christian mean girl-- which is already a cliche that bugs me-- but then she's like some sort of hybrid of Quinn and Santana, but she's not pretty or funny or anything. I mean, why would anyone like her?
Craig: I don't know... I mean, isn't that sort of the point? She thinks she's all that but NO ONE really likes her, not even her lover. That's what makes her funny.
(I'll admit that at this point I was kind of surprised. Craig doesn't even like Glee, he mostly just tolerates it to humor me. So really? He's defending one of its lamest characters ever?)
Me, persisting: But she's not even pretty! When TV characters are supposed to be pretty and aren't, that kind of offends me!
Craig: Yeah, but she's still really funny!
Me: You think she's funny? Really? I don't think she's all that funny... Not like Sue Sylvester is...
Craig: Oh, come on. How many times have we quoted her line, "And say good-bye to these, 'cuz it's the last time you'll see them!"?
And THAT'S when I realized that Craig was talking about Kitty from Arrested Development.
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| Arrested Development Kitty |
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| Glee Kitty |
And then we laughed about the mix-up. And then we breathed a sigh of relief that our marriage wasn't in trouble after all. Craig was starting to worry that if we couldn't agree on the awesomeness of Arrested Development, what could we possibly have left? Because I mean, if you can't agree on the basics like this, where do you go from there?
Monday, November 19, 2012
Our 2nd New York 2012 Trip
Today is the calm before the storm day for me. Not in the literal sense-- no more Sandys coming this way, that I've heard of. But in the sense that I don't have much to do today, but then tomorrow I'll be grocery shopping, washing and folding laundry, packing, and then we're driving up to New York to spend Thanksgiving with the Manhattan contingent of the Bentley clan.
And I am so excited!!!
I know the trip is going to be exhausting and fattening and then more exhausting, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be DANG fun, too! On the agenda so far is Craig making the turkey (with Brian as his sous chef), going to Inflation Eve of the Macy's parade and then the actual event the next day, the Shake Shack, getting chocolate mousse at some place (shoot-- I already forgot the name), and then cooking up a storm at Leah's new house. I'm in charge of the mashed potatoes and I'm going to try out this stuffing recipe. Craig, in addition to the turkey (and more traditional stuffing), will be busy making spritz cookies, his other specialty. And then everyone else is making a host of sides, desserts, and appetizers. I'm bringing all three of my crockpots to help keep stuff warm.
It's gonna be awesome.
But even more exciting than all the food and the parade is the chance to see so many of my sisters again-- the only person we'll be missing is Natalie. I haven't seen Eliot, one of my two two-year-old nephews, since July, so I'm excited to hear all the words he can say now and just get to know his budding personality. (Leah informs me that he is anti-pants at the moment. I wish I could be, too!) And, Leah and Brian moved from the house they were renting to one that they own, so of course I'm excited to check out their new place. And then there's the obvious "sit around and talk with everyone" time which is my absolute most favorite thing in the world to do. I'm thankful that we have phones and can stay connected so easily, but nothing beats the four-sisters-plus-husbands conversations that can follow after eating way too much food and tucking the kids into bed. Really, nothing does.
It's funny because I remember not really loving Thanksgiving when I was a kid. I think most of the foods didn't really appeal to me and the whole thing just seemed like a lot of work for nothing that I liked. I have definitely had a change of heart. What could you possibly not love about this holiday?
Anyway, wish us safe driving and way too much eating in the days to come. And a very happy Thanksgiving to you!
And I am so excited!!!
I know the trip is going to be exhausting and fattening and then more exhausting, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be DANG fun, too! On the agenda so far is Craig making the turkey (with Brian as his sous chef), going to Inflation Eve of the Macy's parade and then the actual event the next day, the Shake Shack, getting chocolate mousse at some place (shoot-- I already forgot the name), and then cooking up a storm at Leah's new house. I'm in charge of the mashed potatoes and I'm going to try out this stuffing recipe. Craig, in addition to the turkey (and more traditional stuffing), will be busy making spritz cookies, his other specialty. And then everyone else is making a host of sides, desserts, and appetizers. I'm bringing all three of my crockpots to help keep stuff warm.
It's gonna be awesome.
But even more exciting than all the food and the parade is the chance to see so many of my sisters again-- the only person we'll be missing is Natalie. I haven't seen Eliot, one of my two two-year-old nephews, since July, so I'm excited to hear all the words he can say now and just get to know his budding personality. (Leah informs me that he is anti-pants at the moment. I wish I could be, too!) And, Leah and Brian moved from the house they were renting to one that they own, so of course I'm excited to check out their new place. And then there's the obvious "sit around and talk with everyone" time which is my absolute most favorite thing in the world to do. I'm thankful that we have phones and can stay connected so easily, but nothing beats the four-sisters-plus-husbands conversations that can follow after eating way too much food and tucking the kids into bed. Really, nothing does.
It's funny because I remember not really loving Thanksgiving when I was a kid. I think most of the foods didn't really appeal to me and the whole thing just seemed like a lot of work for nothing that I liked. I have definitely had a change of heart. What could you possibly not love about this holiday?
Anyway, wish us safe driving and way too much eating in the days to come. And a very happy Thanksgiving to you!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
A Nice Slice of Humble Pie
Okay, I'll just admit it: I've been feeling pretty good about how I look right now in this pregnancy. Sure, I've got the tummy thing going. But it really looks like a pregnant tummy and not like a "boy, that girl must have eaten a big lunch" tummy. And I'm not to the point where random fast food people want to tell me that I look like I'm about to pop or (personal favorite), that in a few weeks time I will really "have a shelf." (Yup, some woman said that. And then she told me that I should have just bought a doll instead. Now where was she with the great advice 8 months earlier???)
So, yeah. Maybe I've been a little too proud of myself. When the doctor commented that my weight gain of 13 lbs was "not bad" I actually corrected him and pointed out that, for a woman who averages 50 pounds per pregnancy, putting on 13 pounds in half the time was dang good, thank you very much. He quickly corrected himself and said I was doing great. Smart man.
But in the last two days, I have had two people ask me-- as they're telling me how great I look!-- if I'm due in January. Um, no, I'm due in March. Two months later. I'm only at 23 weeks. I'm not even close to being into my third trimester yet.
Which leads me to wonder if I'm not doing quite as well as I thought... And then I have to cheer myself up by eating cookies and cupcakes and chocolate cheerios. Probably not the *best* way to remedy the situation.
Ah, well. Tomorrow I'll be good. Really, really good. Nothing but fruits and vegetables.
Riiiiiiiight...
So, yeah. Maybe I've been a little too proud of myself. When the doctor commented that my weight gain of 13 lbs was "not bad" I actually corrected him and pointed out that, for a woman who averages 50 pounds per pregnancy, putting on 13 pounds in half the time was dang good, thank you very much. He quickly corrected himself and said I was doing great. Smart man.
But in the last two days, I have had two people ask me-- as they're telling me how great I look!-- if I'm due in January. Um, no, I'm due in March. Two months later. I'm only at 23 weeks. I'm not even close to being into my third trimester yet.
Which leads me to wonder if I'm not doing quite as well as I thought... And then I have to cheer myself up by eating cookies and cupcakes and chocolate cheerios. Probably not the *best* way to remedy the situation.
Ah, well. Tomorrow I'll be good. Really, really good. Nothing but fruits and vegetables.
Riiiiiiiight...
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Really?
Here are some reasons I've heard that people have voted for Obama:
-Because Mitt Romney was going to not let her kids go to school (this from a Hispanic woman)
-Because Mitt Romney wouldn't let girls who'd been raped have an abortion
-Because Bill Clinton gave a really good speech at the Democratic National Convention
-Because it's only fair to let Obama finish up the year, and then Romney can take over in January after all the Hurricane Sandy stuff is done with
-Because Mitt Romney wasn't going to let women use birth control
-And my favorite, from the comments section of some article in Slate, "Never trust a latter day snake."
Yup. Those are some good ones. Because I know all my readers are smart, I won't bother refuting any of these-- honestly, it would be too easy.
But I will quote my Dad: "What really bothers me here is that that guy's vote counts the same as mine."
Really, America?
-Because Mitt Romney was going to not let her kids go to school (this from a Hispanic woman)
-Because Mitt Romney wouldn't let girls who'd been raped have an abortion
-Because Bill Clinton gave a really good speech at the Democratic National Convention
-Because it's only fair to let Obama finish up the year, and then Romney can take over in January after all the Hurricane Sandy stuff is done with
-Because Mitt Romney wasn't going to let women use birth control
-And my favorite, from the comments section of some article in Slate, "Never trust a latter day snake."
Yup. Those are some good ones. Because I know all my readers are smart, I won't bother refuting any of these-- honestly, it would be too easy.
But I will quote my Dad: "What really bothers me here is that that guy's vote counts the same as mine."
Really, America?
Saturday, November 10, 2012
The Anonymous Driver
I pealed my Romney sticker off the back of my car yesterday. Whether he won or lost, I'd been looking forward to doing this as soon as the election was over. As strong as my political beliefs are, I'm not comfortable wearing them on my sleeve (or, well, on my car, I guess). I worry that my car will get keyed for these beliefs. Or that people will drive more aggressively around me. I also worry that if I make a mistake-- cut someone off or just do something stupid-- that people will judge me and/or my political party for that. (Four years ago, it seemed that every slow car I ever got stuck behind was sporting an Obama sticker. And it drove me nuts. And yes, I was probably overly judgmental of these slow-driving liberals blocking my way!)
So I'm glad my mini-van will be a little more anonymous again. I still have a couple stickers on it-- one that says "NAM" from when I was in Namibia. I'm guessing that most people who read it will think it refers to Vietnam, but I can't help it if no one has heard of Namibia. And my magnet from Japan that signifies that I am a new driver, and should therefore be treated nicely. No one understands that one, either, but it still makes me smile whenever I notice it.
I was also relieved to take down the Romney sign in our front yard. When we first put it up, I worried that someone would throw a rock through our window or something. Nothing of the sort EVER happened. But I worried. And having it there in plain sight was probably the only reason on Halloween that I gave candy to teenagers who weren't wearing costumes. (Geeeez, they annoy me. I mean-- if you're willing to put on a costume, I'm happy to give you some candy, but if you're too lazy to even bother with a costume, I don't think you deserve any candy.)
It's sad to me to think that I worried so much about it all. Is our country so divided that I had good reason to worry?
And yes, I'll admit, I have been very sad that Romney lost. Partly because I think his business savvy would have been really good for our country and all its debt problems. But perhaps even more so just because I think he is a genuinely good person. I'm sad that so many of our citizens apparently couldn't see that. And why 13 million less people voted than four years ago is a complete and utter mystery to me. (A sad mystery.)
But at least I can go back to not advertising my political beliefs on my car. It doesn't make up for things, but it is a relief.
So I'm glad my mini-van will be a little more anonymous again. I still have a couple stickers on it-- one that says "NAM" from when I was in Namibia. I'm guessing that most people who read it will think it refers to Vietnam, but I can't help it if no one has heard of Namibia. And my magnet from Japan that signifies that I am a new driver, and should therefore be treated nicely. No one understands that one, either, but it still makes me smile whenever I notice it.
I was also relieved to take down the Romney sign in our front yard. When we first put it up, I worried that someone would throw a rock through our window or something. Nothing of the sort EVER happened. But I worried. And having it there in plain sight was probably the only reason on Halloween that I gave candy to teenagers who weren't wearing costumes. (Geeeez, they annoy me. I mean-- if you're willing to put on a costume, I'm happy to give you some candy, but if you're too lazy to even bother with a costume, I don't think you deserve any candy.)
It's sad to me to think that I worried so much about it all. Is our country so divided that I had good reason to worry?
And yes, I'll admit, I have been very sad that Romney lost. Partly because I think his business savvy would have been really good for our country and all its debt problems. But perhaps even more so just because I think he is a genuinely good person. I'm sad that so many of our citizens apparently couldn't see that. And why 13 million less people voted than four years ago is a complete and utter mystery to me. (A sad mystery.)
But at least I can go back to not advertising my political beliefs on my car. It doesn't make up for things, but it is a relief.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Antsy
I have been getting so keyed up about the upcoming election. So it was really nice to read this blog post from Middle-aged Mormon Man to help me keep things in perspective.
So now I'm trying to remind myself: It's okay for people to disagree with me. {Breathe.} No matter what happens, everything will still be okay. {Breathe.} I love my neighbors no matter how ill-informed I think they might be (and I keep in mind that they surely think I'm the one who's ill-informed). {Breathe.} There are more important things than politics. {Breathe.}
Only another couple of days of this. {Breathe.} I can survive. {Breeeeeeeathe.}
Don't forget to get out there and vote, everyone! (Yes, even if you're voting for the other guy-- I still want you to exercise your civic duty!)
So now I'm trying to remind myself: It's okay for people to disagree with me. {Breathe.} No matter what happens, everything will still be okay. {Breathe.} I love my neighbors no matter how ill-informed I think they might be (and I keep in mind that they surely think I'm the one who's ill-informed). {Breathe.} There are more important things than politics. {Breathe.}
Only another couple of days of this. {Breathe.} I can survive. {Breeeeeeeathe.}
Don't forget to get out there and vote, everyone! (Yes, even if you're voting for the other guy-- I still want you to exercise your civic duty!)
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Getting Ready for Winter
As I was planning my menu for the week, it suddenly hit me that I was craving casseroles. You know the ones I mean? The ones that always use at least one can of cream of something soup, and you have to cook all the ingredients individually, and then put them all together and cook the whole thing again? And they're kind of a pain to make, but the one upshot is that they always have to be in the oven just long enough for you to get all the dishes cleaned up and the table set so you get to sit down to dinner with a clean kitchen. (Which is pretty awesome if you think about it.)
Yeah. Those casseroles.
Wow, they sound good to me. I just found a bunch of them listed in a word doc I created a few years ago, and I'm having a hard time deciding which one to make first.
And soup-- ooh, I want lots and lots of creamy soups! My two favorites right now are Broccoli Cheddar and Potato and Chive. I could slurp these all day. And if I've managed to plan ahead and get bread bowls from Panera to serve them in, then my life is pretty much made. (The added bonus is that Ryder actually likes my homemade soups! What almost-two-year-old has a penchant for soup???)
I know none of this is health food. But it just sounds so warm and cozy and comforting now that the cold weather has settled in! Is that just nature and getting ready for winter? Or am I just letting myself slip back into old, unhealthy habits?
Yeah. Those casseroles.
Wow, they sound good to me. I just found a bunch of them listed in a word doc I created a few years ago, and I'm having a hard time deciding which one to make first.
And soup-- ooh, I want lots and lots of creamy soups! My two favorites right now are Broccoli Cheddar and Potato and Chive. I could slurp these all day. And if I've managed to plan ahead and get bread bowls from Panera to serve them in, then my life is pretty much made. (The added bonus is that Ryder actually likes my homemade soups! What almost-two-year-old has a penchant for soup???)
I know none of this is health food. But it just sounds so warm and cozy and comforting now that the cold weather has settled in! Is that just nature and getting ready for winter? Or am I just letting myself slip back into old, unhealthy habits?
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Hurricane Sandy: Survived.
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| I loved the color of that tree. Now all those leaves are on the ground! |
For those of you who aren't local and aren't my Mom, we have survived our little hurricane just fine! I guess it hit a lot harder in New Jersey, so I'm not trying to belittle Sandy, but here in Manassas, it sure wasn't a very big deal. Basically, we had about 36 hours of rain, with the occasional big gusts of wind throughout. A few people in the ward lost power for a couple hours, but we weren't one of them. We had a big branch fall off the tree next to our driveway. If we'd left the van parked there, it might have broken a window or something, but that tree loses branches EVERY time it gets windy, so we'd parked the car on the street.
So we're fine!
And I have been LOVING having my family all stuck at home with me for a couple days! Yay for enforced vacations!
On a totally different note, our ward Halloween party was on Saturday, and I got second place in the chili cook-off! First time my cooking has ever won a prize. (Probably the first time it's ever been entered into a contest, too, but still!) So, yeah, hurray for chipotle chicken chili! My Grandpa Hansen used to always compete in chili cook-offs (and, if he didn't win, claim that the judges didn't know beans about chili), so I got to feel like a chip off the old block here. It was nice. AND, my big prize was a big plastic serving spoon, which was hilarious since the same night someone walked away with one of the ones we'd brought! The Church giveth and the Church taketh away, I suppose.
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| This isn't a particularly good picture, but it was the best we could get before Ryder ripped that hat off his head and refused to put it back on. (No, I don't know why Kendra insisted on wearing her Minnie Mouse ears in the middle of her forehead. No idea...) |
Stay dry out there, everyone!
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Bad Thoughts
In my darker moments, I think about showing up to the church Halloween party looking like this:
And then I laugh and laugh and laugh.
And then I wonder who would be more embarrassed by it all-- all the poor ward members forced to see my stomach and fat rolls? Or me for letting it be seen?
Then I thank my lucky stars that I have enough sense to never ever do this.
And then I realize that I'm kind of a jerk for thinking I'm better than these poor dopes. And I feel sort of guilty about that, but not guilty enough to change my mind.
And then I wonder if I might be destined for hell for my arrogance.
Which, of course, leads me to wondering about what other awful Halloween costumes I could come up with, since I'm probably going to hell anyway.
It's a vicious cycle.
I'm blaming it on the hormones.
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| Thank you, Awkward Family Photos, for this little gem...! |
And then I laugh and laugh and laugh.
And then I wonder who would be more embarrassed by it all-- all the poor ward members forced to see my stomach and fat rolls? Or me for letting it be seen?
Then I thank my lucky stars that I have enough sense to never ever do this.
And then I realize that I'm kind of a jerk for thinking I'm better than these poor dopes. And I feel sort of guilty about that, but not guilty enough to change my mind.
And then I wonder if I might be destined for hell for my arrogance.
Which, of course, leads me to wondering about what other awful Halloween costumes I could come up with, since I'm probably going to hell anyway.
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| Yes? Maybe? I bet Craig could do a WAY better job with the finger painting! |
It's a vicious cycle.
I'm blaming it on the hormones.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
A Quick Rant
I usually try to keep the ranting to a minimum. Because being angry and annoyed at stuff starts to annoy everyone else after a while, you know?
But lately, it seems like everywhere I look, this one small thing is driving me crazy: people's refusal to use the sidewalks! I don't know if this is just a Virginia thing, or if it's a spreading epidemic, but I keep seeing it. Kendra and I often end up walking to Bentley's school behind a couple high schoolers who insist on walking in the middle of the road so that cars have to swerve to avoid them. I think that's was pretty obnoxious, but I usually chalk it up to their age and try not to care. But then the other day, I was driving on a long, straight stretch of road in a nice neighborhood, and had to avoid a woman walking her dog in the bicycle lane! Why wasn't she using the sidewalk right next to it, which would have put a little more distance between herself (and her dog) and my speeding car? In the same day, I went around a corner and had to avoid an older couple who was also walking in the road (and going even further into my driving space to walk around a parked car!), and there was a perfectly good sidewalk right there! And every time I go to the temple, the last part of the drive through Rock Creek Park is an exercise in trying to not mow down all the cyclists riding side-by-side on a windy, narrow, shady road (all of which makes it pretty hard to even see them) that has a perfectly good paved bicycle trail right next to it!
And that's when I finally get annoyed and begin complaining.
Maybe it's because where I grew up, there aren't any sidewalks. Bicyclers and pedestrians have less than a foot of grass between the white line on the road and a deep muddy ditch, but we usually try to stick to that foot of space when we see or hear a car coming. So when you live in a neighborhood with lovely, smooth, wide paved sidewalks, why wouldn't you want to use them???
But lately, it seems like everywhere I look, this one small thing is driving me crazy: people's refusal to use the sidewalks! I don't know if this is just a Virginia thing, or if it's a spreading epidemic, but I keep seeing it. Kendra and I often end up walking to Bentley's school behind a couple high schoolers who insist on walking in the middle of the road so that cars have to swerve to avoid them. I think that's was pretty obnoxious, but I usually chalk it up to their age and try not to care. But then the other day, I was driving on a long, straight stretch of road in a nice neighborhood, and had to avoid a woman walking her dog in the bicycle lane! Why wasn't she using the sidewalk right next to it, which would have put a little more distance between herself (and her dog) and my speeding car? In the same day, I went around a corner and had to avoid an older couple who was also walking in the road (and going even further into my driving space to walk around a parked car!), and there was a perfectly good sidewalk right there! And every time I go to the temple, the last part of the drive through Rock Creek Park is an exercise in trying to not mow down all the cyclists riding side-by-side on a windy, narrow, shady road (all of which makes it pretty hard to even see them) that has a perfectly good paved bicycle trail right next to it!
And that's when I finally get annoyed and begin complaining.
Maybe it's because where I grew up, there aren't any sidewalks. Bicyclers and pedestrians have less than a foot of grass between the white line on the road and a deep muddy ditch, but we usually try to stick to that foot of space when we see or hear a car coming. So when you live in a neighborhood with lovely, smooth, wide paved sidewalks, why wouldn't you want to use them???
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Hmmm...
...I worry about the the fact that I regularly get those "Prove You're Not a Robot" word thingies wrong. Does that say something very, very bad about me?
Reporting Back
I met with Kaiser's Head OB yesterday, and since I've mentioned this upcoming appointment approximately 37 times on this blog, I may as well tell you how it all went.
The short answer is that the doctor said No to me, but he managed to do so with enough explanations that at least I understand the answer. So while I don't love it, at least I get it now.
The long version (yes, this is me, of COURSE there's a long version!) is that we sat and discussed everything for about 45 minutes. And I'll just say right off the bat that any doctor who is willing to talk for 45 minutes until his patient is satisfied gets oodles of gold stars in my book.
What it really all came down to is the way my insurance policy works: Kaiser covers everything, and only if there's something that they medically CANNOT do, will they outsource it so someone else. So, for example, when Ryder needed physical therapy, they were happy to refer me to a place that specialized in that (and pay for most of it, too). But, as the doctor pointed out, they are very capable of helping me deliver VBAC, and are even fine with me doing so (which is not the case with a lot of insurance companies, so I really am very thankful that Kaiser is reasonable in this area). So there's no medical necessity for me to go to a birthing center. I can understand that. Even though I feel very strongly that it might be better/cheaper to go to a birthing center, I can see that my situation does not constitute a necessity. But the bigger problem, according the doctor, is simply the fact that Kaiser does not currently outsource to any midwives or birthing centers. (They used to, but that birthing center decided to stop working with Kaiser. I contacted them when I was pregnant with Kendra and when they did still work with Kaiser, but they didn't allow VBAC, so that place was never an option for me anyway.) So even if I could somehow persuade my doctor to sign a referral for me, there would be no one that they have approved to send me to. (All this begs the question of why my original doctor suggested I go to a birthing center in the first place? Apparently she needs to be better versed in Kaiser's policies! I guess I could tell her a thing or two now!)
So that's that. We then spent a long time discussing my treatment at the hospital and what measures I could take so that that wouldn't happen again. Basically, he suggested writing a birth plan with my doctor (he emphasized not just using one that I'd found on-line, since most doctors assume you are crazy and uninformed if that's what you bring in), but to write it with my doctor and include information so that it was obvious that I had done actual research and knew what I was talking about and that I understood any risks associated with my requests (such as having intermittent fetal monitoring instead of constant monitoring). And then he suggested that I ask the doctor on call to discuss it with me when he/she had time, but while I was still in early labor and able to carry on such a conversation. (Rather than, say, waiting until I'm pushing to find out that the doctor is uncomfortable with me not laying on my back for this event.) Anyway, it seemed like good advice. He also said that I was welcome to call the four hospitals where I can deliver and see which doctors are at each place when the time comes and choose which one I'd rather go with. That's still a shot in the dark, since there are 20 OBs in the area, so I'd be hard pressed to meet all of them! But at least if the two I really hated are working that night, I could avoid them!
Anyway. Now that I am fully armed with all of this information, I have to figure out what I'm actually going to do. But I feel like I have a good handle on all my options and can truly make an informed decision. So even though it would have been nice if he'd just said Yes and signed the referral, at least I felt like I was heard, like we had a good discussion, and the ball is simply in my court to do what I think is best now.
Craig and I have a lot of thinking-- and praying-- to do...
The short answer is that the doctor said No to me, but he managed to do so with enough explanations that at least I understand the answer. So while I don't love it, at least I get it now.
The long version (yes, this is me, of COURSE there's a long version!) is that we sat and discussed everything for about 45 minutes. And I'll just say right off the bat that any doctor who is willing to talk for 45 minutes until his patient is satisfied gets oodles of gold stars in my book.
What it really all came down to is the way my insurance policy works: Kaiser covers everything, and only if there's something that they medically CANNOT do, will they outsource it so someone else. So, for example, when Ryder needed physical therapy, they were happy to refer me to a place that specialized in that (and pay for most of it, too). But, as the doctor pointed out, they are very capable of helping me deliver VBAC, and are even fine with me doing so (which is not the case with a lot of insurance companies, so I really am very thankful that Kaiser is reasonable in this area). So there's no medical necessity for me to go to a birthing center. I can understand that. Even though I feel very strongly that it might be better/cheaper to go to a birthing center, I can see that my situation does not constitute a necessity. But the bigger problem, according the doctor, is simply the fact that Kaiser does not currently outsource to any midwives or birthing centers. (They used to, but that birthing center decided to stop working with Kaiser. I contacted them when I was pregnant with Kendra and when they did still work with Kaiser, but they didn't allow VBAC, so that place was never an option for me anyway.) So even if I could somehow persuade my doctor to sign a referral for me, there would be no one that they have approved to send me to. (All this begs the question of why my original doctor suggested I go to a birthing center in the first place? Apparently she needs to be better versed in Kaiser's policies! I guess I could tell her a thing or two now!)
So that's that. We then spent a long time discussing my treatment at the hospital and what measures I could take so that that wouldn't happen again. Basically, he suggested writing a birth plan with my doctor (he emphasized not just using one that I'd found on-line, since most doctors assume you are crazy and uninformed if that's what you bring in), but to write it with my doctor and include information so that it was obvious that I had done actual research and knew what I was talking about and that I understood any risks associated with my requests (such as having intermittent fetal monitoring instead of constant monitoring). And then he suggested that I ask the doctor on call to discuss it with me when he/she had time, but while I was still in early labor and able to carry on such a conversation. (Rather than, say, waiting until I'm pushing to find out that the doctor is uncomfortable with me not laying on my back for this event.) Anyway, it seemed like good advice. He also said that I was welcome to call the four hospitals where I can deliver and see which doctors are at each place when the time comes and choose which one I'd rather go with. That's still a shot in the dark, since there are 20 OBs in the area, so I'd be hard pressed to meet all of them! But at least if the two I really hated are working that night, I could avoid them!
Anyway. Now that I am fully armed with all of this information, I have to figure out what I'm actually going to do. But I feel like I have a good handle on all my options and can truly make an informed decision. So even though it would have been nice if he'd just said Yes and signed the referral, at least I felt like I was heard, like we had a good discussion, and the ball is simply in my court to do what I think is best now.
Craig and I have a lot of thinking-- and praying-- to do...
Thursday, October 18, 2012
And the Newest Little Pumpkin
...is a boy!!!
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| Our family as represented by pumpkins. I don't know why this is so fun to do, I just know that I love doing it. |
We had our ultrasound Monday and there was no mistaking it! I have to admit that I am totally excited-- I really do think boys are a lot of fun. And it turns out that I suck at doing anything with Kendra's hair, so that's one less thing for me to have to hassle with as we try to herd everyone out the door each morning! (And I'll be honest-- I sort of hate those huge headbands with ginormous flowers that people keep insisting on sticking on their baby girls' heads. But then I feel like some smug snarky brat for refusing to bother with them, so the whole situation makes me feel uncomfortable. I'd rather just not bother with it at all!)
So we will be a 3 boys and 1 girl family. I can think of at least three other families in our ward with the exact same ratio-- one of them even has the same order with their kids, so I sent that friend a text pointing out that we were just copying them. She offered to have another kid so I would know what to expect next time around. :)
The actual appointment was a bit crazy-- I'd been looking forward to this ever since it was scheduled a month ago, and barely even slept the night before. I was so excited to see my baby! So naturally, as we're driving to Reston, I get a phone call informing me that the ultrasound machine broke, and they would have to reschedule me for later in the week. I stammered something about already being on my way and having babysitters, and shot Craig that "What do I do???" look. He shot back, "Whatever. I got the day off work for this. You're getting your ultrasound." So I relayed that information back to the guy on the phone. I told him I was sure one of the other offices that did ultrasounds could fit me in today, or they could use one of their other machines and squeeze me in. He said he'd see what he could do.
When we arrived, I asked him (same guy) if he had any guesses as to how long we'd have to wait. My appointment was for 10:30. "Well," he said, "We're here until 4:00, so I guess we'll get you in before then..." Obnoxious. I waved my book at him and told him I would be just fine and proceeded to sit down and read.
They saw us ten minutes later.
All that worrying for nothing!
But I'm glad for the experience-- it gave me more practice saying No. And my meeting with the doctor is tomorrow, so I'm going to have to be tough (but also polite and friendly, well informed without being bratty or like I'm trying to tell the OB how to do his job... you know, easy stuff!). So wish me lots and lots of luck tomorrow!!!!
Oh, and one last note-- that blog that I like, Mama Birth, just posted about how difficult it is to get your way in a hospital. Reading her post was almost spooky, it's like she was in the room with me while I was delivering Ryder! If you still don't understand why I'm reluctant to go to a hospital this time around (and I know some of you out there think I'm nuts, even though you've refrained from saying so directly), read this. Maybe you'll understand where I'm coming from better then.
And not to repeat myself too much or anything, but, YAY FOR MY LITTLE BABY BOY!!! I'm so excited about him!
Friday, October 12, 2012
My First Ever Photodynamic
As I uploaded these pictures, I was texting my cousin (Hi, Anne!) and telling her that I was working on a photo dump. But autocorrect changed my wording to "photodynamic" instead. Which, you have to admit, sounds WAY cooler. So that's what I'll call this. No, I'm not just dumping a random hodge-podge of pictures on my blog with no particular nod to story or chronology! I'm creating something unique and beautiful: a photodynamic! Tell me you're not impressed!
Anyway, you may have noticed, but it took me forever to upload all the pictures from Bentley's birthday onto the computer. Probably because they were scattered around on three different cameras, so it seemed like a lot of work to gather them all together. And in the process of uploading those, I found oodles more pictures that never got posted. So that is all being remedied in one fatblog post photodynamic, right here.
Captions will provide explanations where necessary. And-- who am I kidding?-- probably where not necessary, too. Enjoy!
In August, we went to a Mitt Romney rally held right here in Manassas! There were so many people there that we weren't even close to getting inside the Pavilion where it was held. But it's hard to be angry that there were too many people who uphold your own political beliefs, so rather than being annoyed about that, we just found the jumbo-screen where they were broadcasting it and partied there
Also in August, we went camping and I got to see my first ever WILD BEAR!!! I have to admit that I was totally excited by that. It was definitely the highlight of the trip for me:
And now for a bunch of Ryder pictures:
Thus we conclude this photodynamic! May there be many more to come!
Anyway, you may have noticed, but it took me forever to upload all the pictures from Bentley's birthday onto the computer. Probably because they were scattered around on three different cameras, so it seemed like a lot of work to gather them all together. And in the process of uploading those, I found oodles more pictures that never got posted. So that is all being remedied in one fat
Captions will provide explanations where necessary. And-- who am I kidding?-- probably where not necessary, too. Enjoy!
In August, we went to a Mitt Romney rally held right here in Manassas! There were so many people there that we weren't even close to getting inside the Pavilion where it was held. But it's hard to be angry that there were too many people who uphold your own political beliefs, so rather than being annoyed about that, we just found the jumbo-screen where they were broadcasting it and partied there
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| Ryder was very good about clapping every time everyone else started clapping. I guess that shows some sort of skill set, right? Like being a team player or something? |
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| It turned out that half the ward was there, too, which was awesome! AND, we dragged our friends Jeff & Juliana, who were visiting from Seattle/Provo along with us, so that made it even more fun! This picture was actually taken by my friend Andrea |
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| Here is Ryder sleeping through Sunday School. He gets that from his Daddy... |
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| Shortly before the pool closed at the end of the summer |
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| Bentley being a goof-- he makes me laugh! |
Also in August, we went camping and I got to see my first ever WILD BEAR!!! I have to admit that I was totally excited by that. It was definitely the highlight of the trip for me:
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| He was just a small thing, and we were still in the car. The rangers chased him away right after that, so we slept without worrying about him (although I was even more careful than usual about putting all our food in the car!). |
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| Kendra at the campsite. The week before, she had managed to fall down and slam her cheek into Ryder's highchair, leaving her poor face a bit lopsided and bruised looking. My poor sweet girl! |
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| A bunch of us all took our kids hiking. It turned out to be about four times longer than we were expecting, really hilly, and also really rocky. So we were all beyond exhausted by the time we got back. This was taken in the first half and the poor kids were already tired! |
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| But it was a gorgeous view once we finally got there! |
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| Yeah, next time I'll wear actual shoes for the rough terrain. And Craig won't bring (carry!) Ryder... |
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| On the way home everyone slept but the driver! |
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| Ryder discovers the joy of playing in the laundry basket |
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| Love that smile! |
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| Kendra is busy being a mommy to her penguins |
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| Here she demonstrates her excellent curry-combing techniques |
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| Our friend the groundhog is still alive and well and digging under our porch! |
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| Because he wasn't busy enough, Craig volunteered to be Bentley's scoutmaster. |
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| Here they are getting ready for a pack meeting or a den meeting or something-- I get it all confused... |
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| The big kids napping with Daddy (you can barely see Bentley's head peaking out from under the green blanket) |
And now for a bunch of Ryder pictures:
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| I went upstairs one day to find that Kendra had tucked Ryder in for a nap! He was quite cozy on her bed-- she'd even let him borrow her light-saber! |
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| Ryder also tried out napping at the top of the stairs, which seems like a terrible idea... |
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| ...And wearing Daddy's shoes |
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| ...AND wearing Mr. Potato Head's glasses! |
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| He likes to call Daddy at work, using his calculator... |
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| And never gets tired of letting me push him on the swings |
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| Playgroup yesterday was at a pumpkin patch-- it was a gorgeous crisp fall day! And it was fun to spend some time with just my little Ryder! |
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| I picked out this tiny little pumpkin for him. I think I was more excited about it than he was-- isn't it just so cute?!?! |
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| Bentley liked Ryder's pumpkin, too...
And last, but not least. This was what Craig sent me when I was in the middle of a presidency meeting. And we were discussing how we could get the young women to stop using their phones during class and be more respectful. So I heard my text message "ding," whipped out my phone, saw this, and had to try my darnedest to not bust up laughing in the middle of this discussion.
Apparently I am no better than the girls.
But can you blame me?
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Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Bentley Had a Birthday!
It actually happened a couple weeks ago, but Bentley turned 6! What a great age to be! This year we threw him more of a real party than last year (where the "party" just meant that I invited over a few friends to eat cake with us). Or at least, there was a theme to the party, so that means it was organized, right?
Now, me throwing a "themed party" is not exactly anything to brag about. I do hardly any work or preparation and just hope for the best. Because I am both cheap AND lazy. I spent a few minutes on-line looking for ideas, but when I came across things like "hire character actors!" and "build an ewok hut!" I knew I was completely out of my depth. So I closed all those windows on the computer and just bought some cheap glow-in-the-dark swords, called them light-sabers, and was done. Let the party begin!
Craig and I decorated the night before his party (which was not on his actual birthday), so the kids were excited to wake up and find decorations. Ryder especially was so excited that I finally just carried him down the stairs, since he was so busy looking, pointing, and squawking about the whole thing that I was pretty sure he would fall down.
All the friends came by a little after school got out. It was a bit crazy:
First they had to complete an obstacle course. When everyone passed that with flying colors, they were given their light-sabers and Jedi Training began:
On his actual birthday, we had another celebration with Grandma and Grandpa. It was also a very happy day:
After all the presents were opened, we went to dinner at Red Robin (which is the perfect combo of making the kids happy AND having real food!), and then Bentley and Kendra watched his new movie (Puss in Boots) while Ryder played with all the presents.
I may not throw the coolest parties ever, but we still had a very fun birthday for my little boy.
Now, me throwing a "themed party" is not exactly anything to brag about. I do hardly any work or preparation and just hope for the best. Because I am both cheap AND lazy. I spent a few minutes on-line looking for ideas, but when I came across things like "hire character actors!" and "build an ewok hut!" I knew I was completely out of my depth. So I closed all those windows on the computer and just bought some cheap glow-in-the-dark swords, called them light-sabers, and was done. Let the party begin!
Craig and I decorated the night before his party (which was not on his actual birthday), so the kids were excited to wake up and find decorations. Ryder especially was so excited that I finally just carried him down the stairs, since he was so busy looking, pointing, and squawking about the whole thing that I was pretty sure he would fall down.
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| Nothing more exciting than waking up to balloons to play with! |
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| Craig's decorating skills here |
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| Hey, YOU try drawing R2-D2 free-hand with gel frosting! |
All the friends came by a little after school got out. It was a bit crazy:
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| Playing Hot Lava (I mean, pretending we're on Mustafar) with most of the party guests |
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| Rule #1 for light-sabers: Absolutely NO hitting your fellow Jedis with one! |
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| But attacking the fence (and trees, and one girl's older brother who inexplicably showed up) is totally okay |
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| That is one determined look on Bentley's face. It's only a little bit scary... Right? |
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| Opening presents from friends |
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| A very cool glow-in-the-dark and makes-all-the-appropriate-noises light-saber |
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| Buried in toys and wrapping paper |
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| Ryder was almost as excited as Bentley was about these Batman gloves |
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| And he REALLY got excited about the mask! |
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| Ryder was gleeful as he practiced whacking Grandpa with a light-saber |
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| Yeah, it's almost scary how much he loved this...! |
Happy Birthday, Bentley!
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