Song Parody

One of the other activities we had was a little performance for my parents to celebrate their 50th.  I'd had the idea to do a song parody of Gilbert & Sullivan's "Modern Major General" from The Pirates of Penzance.  If you aren't familiar with it, 1) why are we even friends? and 2) you can watch it here.  It's a lot of fun and you can get a lot of words in (and it turns out that it's super easy to rhyme with "family"!).  But it's also really fast, so while it would have been fun to have entire families singing, we finally decided to just have the sisters sing.  (Craig was extremely happy about that!)  Everyone came up with their own verses and contributed ideas to each others' and it turned out to be very fun.  I was glad everyone went along with it!

So here's what we ended up with:

ALL:
We are the very model of a modern Mormon Family
We eat when we’re together cause we love our hospitality
The only way we go to church is when we do it frantically
And when we show up places it’s like someone called the cavalry

We’re very good at making jokes that deal with immorality
We listen to the Stones and Beatles and of course Pucci-ini
We like to gab all day, but only standing in the kitchen-y,
And yes, we just might have a touch of the theatricality 

NATALIE:
We are the very model of the modern Richards Family
We wake at dawn, eat cereal, and sing very obnoxiously
The neighbors hear us all day long because we practice constantly.
We do school at home because we do not like conformity

Cam’ron, Caleb, Nicole, and Claire always seem to dress appropriately 
But Mom wears flip flops in the snow, and Sam wears coats unendingly
We're rule breakers who won't wear masks, because we act dishonestly.
And yet we haven't gotten sick, so we are feeling wonderf'lly

TRACY:
We are the very model of the modern Bentley Family
We married after forty and we have a small posterity
We drink a lot of soda and it better not be caffeine-free
We live on Bainbridge Island but we try not to be snobs, you see

Adam’s happy on his tractor when he’s killing lots of blackberries
Cora wants to talk about our neighbor’s mini don-on-keys
And Tracy does her best to never ever act too lawyerly
We know when Mom and Dad are old we’ll take care of them properly

RACHAEL:
We are the very model of the modern mixed-race Family.
Which should be pretty obvious because we tan so easily.
We have a house of little boys who’re filled with curiosity.
Superheroes, dinosaurs, and wrestling are our specialty.

Dirt and trucks and bikes and fights are part of our reality.
Rachael tries to keep them safe despite their physicality. 
Ian works long hours at the office of podiatry.
We’re proud to live in a swing state and always vote conserv’tively.

LEAH:
We are the very model of a modern Madden family. 
We cheer hard for the Seahawks ‘cause we like to live life dange-Russ-ly.
The M’s and Mets and Yanks all get a mixed review from us,
But we all feel the love for our cute mutt that we call Gri-iffy.

We live along a lake that keeps us busy with blue al-lgae.
Brian likes to use his drone for some of his photography.
Leah thrives on getting donors to give money very generously.
And El-liot and Theo try to live very cretaceous-ly.

ALANNA:
We are the very model of a modern Mormon family
We’ve got five kids which guarantees no one ever feels lo-onely 
We go to church all hours because Craig is very Bishop-y
Alanna drives a huge kidnapper van ev’rywhere rapidly

We keep busy doing piano, swim team, scouts, and primary
Plus school, and work, Stake callings, choir, FiA, and some charity
But all we really want to do now is go riding a jet ski
And eat ice cream the whole day long if we can get it from Goody’s

FOR MOM AND DAD:
They are the very model of a modern Northwest family
Our parents have stayed married fifty years in actuality 
We’re pretty sure the key to their success is eating out all day
With help from golf, TV, morphine, and daughters calling constantly

They’ve raised five girls (we think we’re great) with pretty awesome sons-in-law
But nothing beats the fifteen grandkids-- they’re the best you ever saw--
We’re grateful to be in Sunriver, here all simultaneously 
And know it’s thanks to Mom and Dad for all their generosity!!!
(Repeat ad nauseum:)
AND KNOW IT’S THANKS TO MOM AND DAD FOR ALL THEIR GENEROSITY!!! 😁😁😁😁