The Polarization of America

I've often thought that politics was a pretty polarizing topic in our country, but with the recent measles outbreak, it's really struck me how it's actually parenting that bring out the most rabid opinions in people...  Consider for a moment some of these choices that most parents face:

Home birth vs. Hospital birth

Natural birth vs. Epidurals and/or other interventions

Circumcision vs. Intactivists

Attachment parenting vs. Crying it out

Baby wearing vs. Using a stroller

Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding

Home school vs. Public school

Vaccinating vs. Anti-Vaccinating

Working parents vs. Staying home with the kids

Helicopter parenting vs. Free Range kids

And then there are all the various ways people choose to eat (assuming here that these are choices and not dictated by allergies or diseases such as Celiac's): vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, non-GMO, local, organic, humanely raised, only seasonal...


I have strong opinions on some of these topics, and on some of them I don't particularly care what I or anyone else chooses to do.  But I'm astounded by how much OTHER PEOPLE seem to care about ALL of these things. 

Take home birth as an example.  I really liked my home births.  They were beautiful experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything.  I think there's a lot to recommend about having your baby at home.  But I absolute do NOT think it's the right choice for everyone, or probably even for most people.  I don't encourage people-- even close friends!-- in that direction because I realize it's just not what most people are interested in.  Live and let live, as far as I'm concerned.  But go to a website that deals with home birth (either for or against it) and watch the vitriol fly as people accuse others on both sides of the debate of not loving their child enough to do what's in their best interest.  They'll accuse mothers of caring more about getting "the birth they wanted" than the health of their child (as if any mother is more concerned with how the birth goes than whether or not her child is healthy???) or they'll accuse people of blindly believing anything doctors say, as though they didn't go to medical school for how many years and should be given due respect for that sacrifice.  Both arguments are insane.  Both arguments assume the worst in the person on the other side.  Both arguments do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING towards having an actual conversation about this topic.

When did we start believing that everyone's circumstances are the same and that the same thing is right for every single person having a baby?  Are we so unimaginative that we can't think of situations where different solutions might be called for?  Or even appropriate?  Or even-- gasp!-- better for that individual?

And here's the kicker-- even if I completely disagree with what someone else is doing, when did it become okay for me to be a complete jerk to them just because I disagree with their opinion?  As much as I think vaccinating kids is a wonderful scientific tool to keep them safe and healthy, I am astounded at how mean-spirited so many of the articles about the issue have been.  It made me want to whimper, "Can't we all just get along?"  I can't tell if this is just the anonymity of the internet making it easy to sling mud at everyone we disagree with, or if this is just our society sinking down into meanness, but whatever is going on, it really bothers me.  I want people to be nice.  I want them to try and understand both sides of an issue.  And if they can't agree, I want them to at least be civil about it.

That doesn't seem too much to ask for, to me.



It makes me think of a good friend of mine from high school.  We originally bonded over our love of Stan Freburg and our similar political views, but those were just the doors we walked through to friendship.  When we returned from college and I discovered that my friend had become a liberal, I will admit that I was a bit crushed.  I had so few conservative friends outside of BYU, it was hard to lose one of them.

But we still discussed politics on occasion, and I saw an astounding thing happen: we could talk about politics and sometimes still find common ground!  And even when we disagreed, we could be polite and hear each others' opinions and still respect one another and be friends!  And it was a beautiful thing.  Perhaps even more beautiful than when we simply agreed on everything.

I would like to see our country head back in that direction again.  We won't always agree on everything.  And it's possible that our disagreements might even be painful at times.  But that's no reason to leave respect and kindness at the door.  Ever.