A Slow, Painful Death

Back in October, the touchscreen on my phone suddenly stopped working.  Sometimes you'd have to push each button twice for it to register, sometimes you'd have to turn the phone off and on a couple times.  And sometimes nothing could convince it to work.  (I'd try to turn it off, since that usually fixes everything, but you can't swipe it to power off if it's not recognizing your touch at all, so the only solution was to wait until the battery died.)

Yeah, try setting up an appointment with the Apple Store with your phone's touchscreen not working-- first you can't even push the buttons to indicate what sort of help you need, and then if you do finally get there, the computer will ask for your the id numbers on your phone and good luck getting that page opened!  I did finally get a person to help me, and they set up an appointment for me.  But it was two weeks away (and the location is an hour away!) and by the time it was time for my appointment, my phone had started working just fine again!  So I didn't go.

I'd made two changes with how I handled my phone that I hoped were what fixed it-- I stopped carrying it in my back pocket (I read somewhere that this could bend the phone and break it) and I stopped keeping it in the bathroom with me if I was using hairspray, just in case that was sticking to the screen and messing it up.

And it worked!  I guess?  For several months my phone mostly worked fine!  Until one day it didn't any more.  It got more and more erratic-- the day we went to the art museum over Spring Break, Craig tried to send someone a text from my phone and it was having an "off" day and he was like, "This is AWFUL.  What is wrong with your phone???  We need to get you a new one."  So I'd start looking, and then it would be fine again and I'd go back to not worrying about it.

Then one day the screen in the background started dancing.  Every time I turned it on, that background picture would just wiggle around like it had picked up a stellar beat and just had to move to the rhythm.  The first time I saw it I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, but it continued to do it all day long, until I finally shut it off.  At least that meant I had plenty of time to show Craig and prove that I wasn't crazy or making this up.

AND THEN, it began doing this really nutty thing where it would push buttons ALL BY ITSELF.  My phone had become autonomous!  It was like some weird sci-fi story where the computer takes over (what is that, 2001: A Space Odyssey?).  Except my phone was absolutely bonkers.  I'd try and open a website and it would flip back and forth between several different sites, faster than any of them could load.  (Yes, once it managed to open a porn site.  Awesome.)  Even from the home screen, it would open up my calendar or my notes when all I wanted to do was read a new text.  I once was trying to find someone's contact information and it was this close to trying to call some guy I knew in high school (I only have his contact info at all because we're friends on facebook and that somehow synced with my phone and added everyone as contacts).  While I was talking with my sisters it would try to facetime with them.  Once when I was showing this new trick to the girls in YW it took a picture of my shoe and tried to put it on facebook, all without me touching a thing.  (The girls agreed that it was completely creepy.)  And just today it almost posted an article I was reading about Trump onto my facebook timeline (I can't imagine how that would have gone down-- I never managed to read the article, so I have no idea if I even agreed with it or not!).

Clearly, this was a problem.  And while I could often be fast enough to read texts sent to me, responding was impossible while my phone was punching buttons of its own free will.  And when it wasn't playing this trick on me, it would go back to be non-responsive.

It turns out that both problems were annoying in their own very unique ways.

So I've finally called it quits.  I was hoping to finish out my contract on this phone (in June), but I decided it was worth it to pay the $43 I still owed and just get a new phone already.

It irritates me, because I don't care a bit about updating the technology-- I'm absolutely fine with what my phone's capabilities (okay, fine-- I wouldn't mind having more storage), but I just can't handle this level of quirkiness any more.

We're done, phone.  My new iPhone 6S, with 128 gigs, arrived today.

Good riddance.