Mindfulness. For Smart Phone Usage.

While my phone wasn't working, I got pretty good at not staring at it all the time.  But as soon as I got a new one, I went into overdrive catching up on all my favorite websites that I'd been missing out on.  And then I realized that I was turning into a zombie.

So I've been working on cutting back.  (Again.  Is it just me, or do I blog about this every other week???)  It's been interesting, because I consider myself to be a fairly hands-off parent: I don't really get down on the floor and play with my kids-- mostly because I find it mind-numbingly boring (sorry, kids!  I still love you!!!).  But also because I think they're supposed to play without my help.  I mean, half the reason I I HAD a bunch of kids was so they could all play together!  Plus, my own mom wasn't big into playing with us, and I think she was a wonderful mother, so I'm fine with following her lead.

However, as I smugly congratulated myself for my laid back parenting style, I realized that I had slipped into a bad habit of ignoring my kids because I was staring at my phone.  And that is most certainly NOT how my mother parented me!  Along those lines, I also figured out that there's a very different level of annoyance when I'm interrupted while reading a book, versus when I'm trying to scroll down through an article (or blog or facebook or click through several pages of clickbait), and I have no idea where the ending is or when I'll ever "finish" whatever it is I'm looking at.  I feel more annoyed at the interruption, and I tend to put my kids off longer, which means they feel more annoyed with me, too.  It creates bad feelings all around.


So I'm trying to not stare at my phone while my kids are around.  Staring at it when they're napping or sleeping is still okay-- I don't think I'm ready to completely give up my phone.  And of course, some day when they're all in school I'll have to come up with new rules.  But I think this works for now.

I told my sister all my thoughts about this, and she pointed out that most websites are designed to keep you reading as long as possible.  Really, the people who design them try to make them addictive.  That makes sense, of course-- the more I stay clicking around on their website, the more advertising money they're getting.  But it really made me stop and think about how I want to be spending my time.

The first day I tried to stay off my phone, I made a list on paper of things to do.  And I got almost all of them done!  Which, of course, brought into clearer focus just how much time I was wasting each day staring mindlessly at my phone.  I've also found myself getting a lot more reading done, which makes me happier.

But the whole thing bugs me.  I keep thinking, Man, how did I let myself go so far?  It's kind of horrifying when I think about it.

But the point is, I'm trying to do better.  My Dad used to talk about how when you're driving a car, you make little course adjustments along the way-- and how it's easier to steer back into the middle of the lane before you're in the ditch.  I find myself doing that with parenting-- and really, with life in general-- all the time.  Trying to be aware how I'm going astray, and then trying to get back on track.

This is yet another one of those times.

And now, my kids are in bed!  Time to get caught up on the Daily Wire!  ;) 

Okay, okay, I'm kidding-- I'm actually going to get back to reading Fablehaven.  Really!