Down the Rabbit Hole

I turn 38 in a couple weeks, and I feel like that is right on the precipice of really aging-- if wrinkles and grey hair aren't sneaking their way across the landscape of your face and hair, it's either because you aren't noticing or because they're gathering their forces for a surprise attack.

I'm pretty lucky in that the grey hair should blend in with my natural hair color pretty easily.  (Last time I got a haircut, I asked the stylist if I had any grey hiding back there and she assured me she didn't see any.  I told her to keep checking.)  But I've begun to see wrinkles in my forehead.  I've also got bags under my eyes, but I'm hoping that has more to do with Colton's need to try and climb into bed with me at 2am all the time.  If I sleep well for consecutive nights, maybe those bags will vanish.  Right???

As you know, I'm not much for make-up.  Mascara is really the only thing I usually bother with.  And I can't remember the last time I even had a pedicure...  I just don't care too much about stuff like that.  But recently I heard that they can make eyelash extensions, and for the first time, I was intrigued.  If I could just have beautiful eyelashes for a month, that would be so fun!

Yes.  This is me exactly.

Anyway, the idea captivated me long enough to start looking at salons and trying to figure out what it would cost.  The cheapest one I found was $130.  I was trying to tell myself that this might be worth it, when I further saw that they recommended staying away from heat (especially ovens and BBQs) and steam if you didn't want the adhesive to melt right off.  And I realized that I might be able to justify spending the money once, but I probably couldn't do that AND quit cooking.  (And what could you possibly cook if you can't go near heat or steam???)

So I will not be getting eyelash extensions, even though I bet I'd look fabulous with them.

But since I was looking at the spa services, I began scrolling through all the other things they offered...  And it reminded me of the scene in Mean Girls where the plastics are critiquing their huge pores and man shoulders, and Cady says,

Who knew there were SO MANY TREATMENTS you could have done to yourself!?!?!  I don't even know what most of them are!  What's the difference between a Medical Treatment Facial and a Hydraclean Facial (other than $30)?  How is a Microdermabrasion different from a SilkPeel or a Moistupeel?  WHAT EXACTLY IS AN EARLOBE REPAIR???  How could "thermage" possibly cost $3000????  I looked up miraDry because I was curious and apparently it's when they remove the sweat glands under your arms!!!  Do people really do this???  You can't just bother with a daily swipe of deodorant?  And perhaps more important-- do any of these things actually work?  And do they work well enough to be worth so much money???  Because all of this stuff is certainly not cheap!!!

But seriously.  Even if all this stuff helps, I promise-- you're gonna get old eventually.  There isn't enough plastic surgery in the world to hold back that tide.

So my new goal is just to age gracefully.  But maybe some day if I don't ever need to cook for a month, I'll splurge and get myself those eyelash extensions!