Another Anniversary

Today is Craig and my ten year anniversary.  And an event like this calls for pictures, so I will be scattering pictures from our engagement shoot throughout the text of this post.  I don't think we used any of these, so you can think of them as outtakes.  They make me smile-- I have a hard time thinking of myself as getting older, until I see how young we look here!

We kept laughing, which was a lot of fun, but makes for smiles a little too big for this kind of picture...

We had high hopes of going to Hawaii to celebrate this momentous occasion, but between having Camille and Craig getting a new job, it's looking like that will have to be put off for a while.  As if that wasn't bad enough, tonight is the open house for CATEC, so Craig will be working late, and I will be spending the day with the kids.  Not exactly the stuff of Hollywood movies and brag-worthy facebook posts.

Man, I was skinny...

But I don't mind.  This feels like more of a chance for quiet contemplation than having a big party, and ten years is a lot to reflect on.  I plan on getting out my wedding album and showing it to the kids after dinner-- I'll have fun, even if they don't!

Craig looks so young here...

Craig and I have seen and done a lot together in these ten years: four different homes (two of which were apartments); three degrees; five children; two new jobs for Craig and me turning into a serial pregnant lady; three different cities we've lived in; vacations to South Carolina, California, Texas, Hawaii, Seattle, DisneyWorld, and Oregon, plus lots of camping trips in Virginia (and one in Utah); construction projects, sliced fingers, home births, teeth knocked out; tears and laughter, arguments, the occasional disappointment, but mostly the overwhelming joy of these last ten years...  So much living crammed into these ten years.

I love the look of adoration on my face.  Can you tell how much I love my Craig?

We did use this picture, or part of it.  Craig did the color effects himself, and I loved how it turned out.

People talk about how marriage is work, but-- as Middle-Aged Mormon Man said-- to  me, being married to Craig is as natural as breathing.  Or people will talk about how marrying their spouse was the best decision they ever made.  But I hardly needed to decide to marry Craig-- the whole time we were dating, I felt like I was working to convince him to marry me (and, quite frankly, screwing that up as often as not).  When he finally asked, there was never any doubt what my answer would be.  No one had ever made me as happy as Craig did.

And still does today.

Happy Anniversary, my Love.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

We thought we'd be able to sign papers on our house on Saturday, so Craig and I geared up to make what we hoped would be our last trip to Manassas for a while.  The paperwork didn't end up being ready on time, but we had other loose ends to tie up, so in a fit of optimism we all made the trip anyway.  Craig had to be in one location acting like a grown-up, so I figured it would be fun to swing by our house and let the kids play in the backyard one last time. 

Unfortunately, nothing went quite as planned.  None of the kids' friends were around when we arrived, so they spent the entire time fighting and getting bit by mosquitoes (despite the fact that I brought bug spray and insisted on them using it).  The house was kind of dusty and cobwebby and had resorted to its old smell from before we moved in.  (All of you who have ever been to my house, PLEASE tell me it didn't smell like that while we were living there?!?!?!)  And the whole thing was kind of sad.  Once Craig was able to join us, we did spend a few minutes sharing our favorite memory of the house, which was very nice until my neighbor popped in to say Hi.  (I love my neighbor and was very happy to see her again, but I wish she could have given us just five more minutes first.)  And by the time she was done gabbing, we needed to leave, so we didn't really get to finish or take a picture like I'd wanted to do.

To make matters worse, most of the people I had hoped to see in Manassas either weren't around or were busy, so I only managed to see one friend while we were there (but I sure was excited to see her, even if it was only for a few minutes!).

We did get to eat at Cafe Rio.  And on the way in to town, we stopped at the Moo-Thru.  So it's not like it was a bad trip.  It just wasn't quite the glorious-if-slightly-melancholy homecoming I'd been envisioning.

They say that you can never go home again, and it's true, I'm afraid.  As we were preparing to leave, I kept telling people that we didn't really need to say good-bye because we'd be back to visit.  And we have been back to visit, but it never is quite the same.  I was fooling myself when I said that.

My home is in Charlottesville now, even if a chunk of my heart will always be in Manassas.

Fortunately, I really do love Charlottesville, and more so each day.  We live in such a beautiful place.  So while I will always have very fond memories of Manassas, I am very happy here. 

This is a panorama I took from the top of Carter Mountain, a lovely orchard and farm near our house.  I think that the houses you can make out in the center are probably part of the housing development where we live, so you get the general idea of my neighborhood!

Of Note

-Good intentions will get you one pound off.  Unfortunately, good intentions seem to be about all I got in the exercise department right now.  I went running that one time, and then Camille keeps waking up at 5am.  And we keep going to bed at midnight.  And I just don't think I can be a decent mom on that little sleep.  I have started doing these little 7-minute workouts (four days in a row-- woot!) so that's better than nothing.  And I have cut back on the snacking, although I still have a long way to go there...  Baby steps?

-Speaking of my parenting skills, I feel like God keeps upping the ante on me.  Two weeks ago it hit me that *maybe* I shouldn't be annoyed every time my kids want to talk to me and was working on that, and feeling pretty good about the progress I was making by not yelling and screaming about everything.  So then, I get asked to teach Relief Society this coming week, and the lesson is all about being a good parent, with lots of suggestions that I need to start doing.  (And they're good ones, too, so I can't even shrug them off!)  And if that wasn't bad enough, I wound up watching Inside Out twice and it was really hitting me how quickly kids grow up and how I need to be better about enjoying the moment and then I realized that, at close to 9 years old, Bentley is halfway done with his time living at home before he'll head off to college!  How completely freaky is that???  So I'm trying even harder.  I'm trying to enjoy my kids and talk to them and teach them and be the Mom I always assumed I would be.  Before life got in the way and I got busy and tired and stressed out and grumpy.

I like this picture of Colton hanging out with my Dad

-To that end, yesterday we were planning on going to the library, but when we drove by this awesome park, we changed our plans and went there instead.  The kids had a blast and we can't wait to go back!  It was so fun to find a park where the playground equipment didn't look just like the playground equipment at every other park!

-Still working on getting our house in Manassas sold.  Everything was going smoothly-- even the home inspection didn't turn much up!-- until the appraisal.  Apparently the woman hired to appraise the house knows absolutely nothing about homes, fair market value, or anything.  And she appraised it for less than we were getting.  (Just to give you an example, she thought the tile Craig had just put in was laminate.  She said, "When I tapped my camera on it, it didn't feel like tile."  'Cuz, you know, the good old camera tap is the standard for these things...)  Anyway, after much debate and a lot of angry ranting on our part, we finally just took the lower price rather than listing the house again.  But we're still pretty upset about the whole thing.  It's infuriating when someone so stupid and inconsequential has so much control over you and there's no way to appeal or change it.

-We DID finally manage to close on our house here in Charlottesville, so that was good to finally get checked off the list.  This was also infuriating, since the bank kept saying we'd close "in a few days" and then not being able to.  I don't understand what all these underwriters are doing and why it's so hard for them to actually do their job?  Isn't this all they do???  How are they so bad at it?

Here's a cute picture of Camille to counteract my frustrations

-Colton is figuring out how to open doors.  I feel like this is one of those developments where as a parent you just sort of stare in horror at your world falling down around you.  Obviously, he needed to figure this out eventually but hoo boy, it's gonna make my life more complicated!

Here Colton is reading a children's version of the Book of Mormon.  He asked for it by saying, "More more Jesus"

-For her birthday (back in February) Kendra got a gift certificate for live butterflies!  We were waiting until the weather was warm to order them, and then when we found out we were moving, that got pushed back again.  I was delighted when Kendra knew right where her gift certificate was so we were finally able to order them!  They came as caterpillars and turned into chrysalises almost immediately.  One of them failed to attach to the ceiling of their cup, so we didn't think that one would make it.  But we were delighted when it did!  She ended up with five beautiful butterflies, which we released just a few days ago!

Painted Lady

Apparently these are the most social of butterflies, and the most likely to land on your hand or shirt!

-Colton also is doing all sorts of adorable things these days: he gallops slightly sideways from room to room; if he's feeling shy he'll suddenly slouch over in the worst posture ever (we picture him asking some girl to the prom this way and die laughing at the idea of it)...  And he's continuously building up his vocabulary.  His recent acquisitions are down and up, and he'll hold toys up and down and yell about where they are, and occasionally make them fly and fall down.  It's fun-- and noisy!-- to see him developing.

Very sleepy Colton on our way home from swimming in a nearby lake.  Love that look on his face...!

-The big kids are all registered for school, and I can hardly believe it starts in about two weeks!  This summer has been the weirdest ever, with the move and Craig's new job.  It's felt long and short all at the same time, and while part of me is relieved to have them back in school (and for them to finally ride a bus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), I'm always sad to see summer end...

-I'm still trying to figure out what to do with Ryder for preschool.  There are a couple co-op preschool groups in the church here, but they both have younger kids (one group is 3-year-olds, the other group is 2-year-olds), so that seems a little silly for Ryder, since he'll be 5 in November.  I should probably just sign him up for a real preschool, but I hate to do that until I have a better idea what our finances are-- what Craig's take-home pay will be, how much we're spending on groceries here, what our house payments really will be...  All that stuff.  I hate to commit another few hundred dollars a month without that information...  Can you sign up for preschool late?

Ryder plays so nicely with Camille!

-I'm also getting really frustrated with how I have to do everything at least twice for it to actually be done.  I put something in the diaper bag, and then in the process of picking up the diaper bag, that thing gets caught on the straps and falls back out again.  I throw something in the garbage and miss.  I call and cancel our garbage service in Manassas and then get a bill a month later for the same payment I already made.  I spend 20 minutes looking for a receipt so I can return something to Target, I get there and somehow managed to not bring the receipt...  We buy new doorknobs for the house, realize they're not the keyed the same, so we have to bring them back and have them re-keyed.  But when we bring them back we don't have all of them so we still need to return two more...    And in the middle of all this, Craig gets a flat tire so he takes my car so I'm stuck at home for the day...  This stuff just kind of kills my soul.  I know none of it is a very big deal, but it grinds me down in a very bad way.  Everything is just a little too far away, and Craig is just too busy, and we have a few too many kids to do things like this easily, so then when we have to do it all TWICE...  That's when I have to be really careful and not start taking my frustrations out on the people around me.  (Sorry, Craig.  Sorry, kids...)

Better add some more cute pictures to help me calm down...

Much better...!

-After finally getting to cook a few meals at home, I have concluded that I LOVE my kitchen.  Love, love, LOVE it.  It's not very big, which I'm sure to some people would be a hit against it, but I think it is perfect.  Everything is close by, so I can grab whatever I need quickly.  But there's plenty of counter space, so I never feel like I don't have room for whatever I'm doing.  It's perfect for me.  Cooking in it (and even cleaning up and putting everything in it's place) makes me so happy.  The only thing I didn't especially love was the way the silverware basket in the dishwasher was attached to the door.  It never worked very well.  And then I figured out that it could also attach to the end of the lower rack!  So now that's perfect, too.  And I felt like a genius for figuring it out.  So that was great.

Yeah, I got a couple degrees from college...

That's everything I can think of for now!

Mostly Moved In

I just said that it was helpful having Tracy here.  And it really was!  She was great for holding Camille so we could hang pictures (and doing a little bit of arbitrating, since it's the only thing Craig and I can NEVER agree on) and so I could finally unpack her (Camille's) room.  Tracy also stayed home and watched the four big kids while I took Camille with me and drove to Ikea (which is now two hours away!) to get a table and chairs for our breakfast nook and a couple kallaxes for the family room.  I don't know when I ever could have found the time for that without Tracy's help, so that was wonderful.  And everyone at Ikea was great about helping me with the heavy stuff.  It turns out it's hard to lift things when you've got a baby strapped to your chest!


Here's what our family room and breakfast nook look like with the Ikea stuff!

The panorama tends to make this look bigger (and less square) than the room really is, but you get the idea...  (This might actually be worth clicking on so you can really see everything.)  See both the big and little kallaxes?

I love all the windows and trees!  What a lovely way for the kids to start out the day!

So we're pretty much moved in now.  Yeah, we've got a few boxes left, but nothing we care too much about.  At some point, I'd like to buy a couch for our living room, but if it took us a few years to get around to doing that, I wouldn't care.  I feel like all we've done is spend money these last couple months and I would like to stop doing that now.  And my bank account agrees with that idea, too.

While my parents were here, I took care of two more tasks that I was having a hard time doing with all five kids: I got Bentley and Kendra registered at their new school, and I got myself a library card!  These are VERY IMPORTANT things.  I also learned that the library validates parking, which is helpful since there isn't much street parking nearby.

I'm slowly learning the ropes around here.  And I'm really loving our new home!

Accountability

We moved about five weeks ago, and have had a steady stream of visitors since then.  My sister Tracy came to help out the weekend we moved.  Then my parents stopped in a few days later as they headed to Europe on one of those river cruises.  Then Tracy was close by for three weeks, working on a farm, so we convinced her to pop in for a few of those weekends, which we loved (and which was super helpful).  And then my parents were back, on their way home from their cruise.  And then Craig's brother and his family got to come and visit for a few days!

So, yes, we've been feeling quite loved and popular, which is nice.

Except it's also extremely bad  . . .  for my weight.

Because every time we have company, I feel the need to eat lots of desserts with them and go out to dinner and cook anything I can think of to show off (hint: this usually involves lots of cream cheese)...  And even before we moved, we'd been eating a pretty steady diet of pizza, Chick-fil-A and ice cream (and any other comfort food imaginable) while Craig re-did the kitchen and we tried to keep the house spotless and pack.

So yes, I'm probably the fattest I've ever been without being pregnant or recently post-baby.  And that is not such a lovely thing.  I sort of hate it.

So after we were done waving good-bye to Craig's family last night, it hit me that it was finally time to start trying to be healthy again.  Camille sleeps through the night regularly enough that I should be able to get up early and get some exercise in.  And while I thought it made the most sense to start a new thing like that on a Monday, in a burst of energy and good intentions I decided to just jump into the fray this morning.

So I went running!

Well, walking.  With a little bit of very slow jogging in between the walking.  So it was a pretty laughable start, but as my friend Vangie would tell me, we all gotta start somewhere.  And it was cool and lovely outside and I even managed to catch the sunrise, so it was a perfect way to begin.

And then I thought-- well, maybe if I blog about this, I'll manage to actually keep doing it.  Don't worry-- I won't report back on every little run I go on.  But if I notice myself slendering up, I might have to get excited and talk about it here.

My other line of attack is to change how I eat.  I don't think I can handle doing anything as extreme as the Fuhrmann plan right now, so I'm not exactly eating super healthy.  But as badly as I've been eating, I think if I just cut out all the snacking, extra desserts, and maybe even my addiction to chocolate milk, that would be a huge improvement.  If I added some salad and fruit into the mix, so much the better.  And then maybe I can ease back into cooking healthier dinners or eating an apple for breakfast instead of a bowl of cereal. 

So there.  It's blogged.  I'm going to work on being healthier.  I told you, so now I have to do it.

Let it be thus!

Plagiarizing

My sweet friend Juliana wrote a beautiful blog post about my Grandma's 100th birthday.  Since her blog is private and you can't just click on it easily, I'm going to copy and paste what she wrote (and her pictures!) onto my own blog, too.  Juliana has spent WAY more time with my Grandma in the last 10 years than I have, and it was really wonderful to read all the nice things she had to say about my Grandmother.  I'll write some of my own thoughts in a separate blog post later, but I want what Juliana wrote recorded here, too!  (Sorry, Juliana-- I hope what I'm doing is okay with you???)


Here are Juliana's words:


Helen Bentley has been a sweet grandma to me throughout my entire life. And it was a sweet honor to celebrate her 100th birthday over Easter weekend in Seattle.

Here are a few of my favorite Helen Bentley memories (with pictures of her party too):

two cakes! and many, many bouquets of flowers. 

• Helen used to work at the front desk of my dentist office (Dr Thomas). I remember my mom would always schedule our dentist appointments for days/shifts that Helen was working, just so we could visit her when we came for our appointments. (Plus, the other front desk lady Claudia always seemed mean.)

• Until I was in college, Helen lived in the Greenwood Ward in Shoreline, which meant she was in our stake at church. It was always fun to see her at stake conference, and I grew up knowing that she had mutual friends/church acquaintances with my parents. I think this overlap helped me realize that she was more than just a nice grandma, but she actually had her own life.

• I remember visiting her condo in Shoreline with my mom semi-regularly, and her floors were always immaculate. It seemed like she vacuumed every day! Especially as a little girl, how someone could keep their house spotless always seemed incredible.

Emi loved all the catered food and treats.
Emi also loved going on walks with Jeff  and playing with the other Bentley babies.

• Helen Bentley came to my baptism and gifted me the most beautiful little teddy bear in a fancy peach dress. I remember opening the bear on the drive home from the baptism (even though I think I was supposed to wait) and being so excited that Helen gave me a gift I actually wanted. (In contrast to some of my other baptismal gifts that felt boring to me - like scripture quotes.) This teddy bear was on display in my bedroom until I got married, and now is packed safely away in a box full of my favorite things.

• When I was in high school, my dad would visit Helen to check on her toilets, plumbing and any other household details, as a friendly check-in. My dad would always bring me along, to both practice my own fix-it skills, and also for a chance to visit with our favorite 90 year old.

• Nearly every Thanksgiving morning growing up, the four of us Hogan’s would wake up early, get ready, and drive through Shoreline to pick up Helen Bentley. Then drive to the Seattle-Bainbridge Ferry for a weekend of Hogan-Bentley festivities. My mom always joked that we had the best end of the Thankgiving responsibilities - all we had to bring was homemade pies and Grandma Helen!

• I remember when Helen was in her 80’s and my mom gushing her how she didn’t look a day older than 60. In my mind I kept wondering, how is that a nice thing to say, 60 is still so old?!

I love this picture!
It is crowded, but I love how Helen is surrounded by laughing family
and she is just sitting and soaking it all in.

• Helen often shopped at Nordstom and bought the Bentley girls the fanciest scarfs and holiday presents. The summer before I went to college, Helen bought me a set of fancy gold and silver earrings and wrote me the nicest note. (I still have them both safe, tucked away with the baptism teddy bear.)

• When Helen was in her 90’s, she had a memory-driving fiasco and got lost in Woodinville. My parents drove out to save her and her car, and I remember my mom explaining how Helen calmed right down as soon as she saw my dad and he started talking and joking with her.

• Helen, Patrice and my mom would go shopping at Alderwood Mall together, and Helen would love to buy her pants at Coldwater Creek. She always dressed so classy.

• I remember Helen was so excited for my wedding, she bought Jeff and I the fanciest gift, and made a sassy “well of course she is” comment when my mom told her I was getting married in the Seattle Temple.

Emi holds her own glittery 100 year glasses

a small group with our 100 glasses on

• Helen loved my mom fiercely. When the Bentleys arrived to my mom’s funeral, Helen was sobbing. She was dressed in black and looked as classy as ever, but her tight hug and her raw tears broke (and validated) my heart in a powerful way. Even after witnessing the sorrow and heartbreak of life for 95 years, she still had capacity to deeply mourn and love my mother.

• Three summers ago, Helen fell and broke her hip. The replacement surgery and rehab moved her out of her assisted living home and into a facility closer to my dad’s house. For several weeks over the summer, I visited Helen in the evenings. One of my favorite nights was when we watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics together and she laughed at how frumpy and old the Queen of England was looking. Ha!

• During those same summer visits, Helen’s regular pants (the black ones from Coldwater Creek) got misplaced in the laundry room. It was suggested that she could wear hospital scrubs - and Helen was both scoffing and insulted about that suggestion for days! (Thankfully, it felt like a glimpse of inspiration that I remembered Helen’s favorite pants and could help find them.)

with Rachael and Ian after the party

• Two summers ago, Kat, Emi and I visited Bainbridge Island for a day trip. We had lunch and ice cream with Patrice, and visited Helen in the afternoon. Helen was so captivated with baby Emi, and remembered exactly who Kat was, including details about her family and parents. Such a sharp mind and sweet heart for age 98!

• During that same visit to Bainbridge Island, Helen asked me why I wasn’t visiting her as often as I had the summer before (when she was in the rehab facility). I explained that Jeff and I moved to Connecticut and were living back East. Without missing a beat, Helen sassily replied “oh I know that, but why don’t you come by anymore?”.

Helen and me

Helen’s 100th birthday party was a beautiful success! The party was hosted on Bainbridge Island, and both her children, and all her grandchildren and great grandchildren were able to come! Helen’s mind is still sharp, and it was so sweet to see her face light up when her friend and family walked into the room. I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation with Helen where she didn’t pay me at least one compliment, and ask me several questions about my own life. She is absolutely gracious, and there is no question why she is so well loved. I can’t imagine my life without Helen Bentley on my team of favorite people, and it was so sweet to be a part of her celebration.

*    *     *     *     *

Okay, me again. Wasn't that a sweet tribute from Juliana? I will get around to writing about my Grandma, also, but I don't know that I can even add much to what Juliana already wrote! Thanks for letting me steal this, Juliana!

And P.S. Isn't Emi the cutest little girl ever??? I'm desperate to make sure that she and Colton end up marrying each other...

Getting Settled

I have very slowly been unpacking.  And by "unpacking," what I really mean is, "moving boxes into the room where they should go, and then just leaving them there."  I seem to be having a difficult time getting past that.  In my defense, though, there's usually a good reason for it.  In my room, the unpacked boxes are mostly full of Craig's stuff.  And most of it should probably be thrown away.  But he doesn't have time for unpacking, and I'm not throwing away his stuff without his permission, so it's just sitting there.

In Camille's room, I could unpack more, except she's always either a) asleep in her room or b) awake and demanding that I hold her.  To be in her room NOT holding her means she is screaming.  So those boxes will get unpacked the next time someone is visiting who wants to hold her while I unpack.  (Any takers?)  And the many many boxes of toys...  Well, sometimes I open a box and let the kids play with them.  And then they mostly just throw them all over the house and I am reminded of why I'm planning on selling all of them at the HOA's Fall Yard sale.  Then I throw them all back in the box (or make the kids do it, since they made the mess) and forget about them for a little longer.


But, to prove that I was making progress, I did manage to snap this picture the other day:

That's my car, actually parked INSIDE my garage!  I haven't managed to pull it into the garage since then, but it still makes me happy that I did it at all!  Progress, any way I can manage it...

Other than unpacking, it's been weird trying to fill my time.  I've never had so much time with all the kids and no Craig before.  If they're out of school, he always has been, too.  So this has been an adjustment.  I've switched to doing as much of my grocery shopping as possible at night-- it's hard enough to find everything you're looking for in a new store WITHOUT five little people interrupting you non-stop.  And I'm also trying to enjoy the unstructured time that we have.  Yesterday I decided to make a lasagne TOTALLY from scratch-- I even made the sauce, something I've never done before.  It wasn't even all that hard, and it was the best lasagne I've ever had.  (Thank you, Our Best Bites!)  Because, when you have absolutely nothing planned for the day, why not make your own sauce?

And about once a week or so, I'm trying to pull Bentley and Kendra aside for a little "Mommy School" time.  This is pretty short and laid back-- I just pick a topic and we talk about it.  So far we've discussed World War I and II, how to make movies, and dinosaurs.  I think next I might talk about Van Gogh, since kids are always fascinated by him.  Unless I decide to talk about something else instead.  It was Craig's idea that we do this, but I love that he suggested it, as it is something I always pictured myself doing with my kids, but then never got around to.

In fact, I realized this last week that I needed to step back and fix my parenting in a big way.  With all the craziness of the last couple months, I'd become about the grouchiest mom ever-- one of those moms who seems to be constantly snapping at her kids to just leave her alone and to stop making messes.  I felt kind of justified in my terrible attitude, but it quickly turned from a coping mechanism to just who I was.  And I didn't like that.  So I'm working on being more patient and turning back into a person who actually enjoys her kids, instead of someone who just tries to get away from them. 

So that, like so many other things in life, is a work in progress.

I'm hoping that eventually I can have some friends around here, too.  Everyone has been very friendly at church and in the neighborhood, but I seem to have forgotten how to take that next step and become actual friends...  I was filling out the school registration forms, and it occurred to me that I didn't know a single person who I could put down as an emergency contact here.   And then I sort of wanted to cry...

So yes, unpacking, parenting, meeting new people...  All works in progress.



Moving is hard.  {Sigh.}

Crazy Ryder

I took this video back in November when we went to South Carolina to spend Thanksgiving with Craig's family.  It was a wonderful holiday, but Ryder was a bit over-tired throughout (it's always hard for my kids to adjust to sleeping in a different bed than their own).  And one evening, as we were getting ready to eat dinner, I noticed Ryder performing these "acrobatics" across the way.  I think he'd been doing this for about five minutes before we finally began recording it.  And he continued long after the camera was turned off.

This is how Ryder acts when he's beyond tired:

Let's hope he never starts drinking.  I can't even imagine what that would look like...

Under Contract

We have a ratified contract on the house! 

Did I ever share its listing here?  I don't think I did, so I'm going to fix that right now.  Tadaa!  I was very pleased with how the picture turned out, especially considering that I just about worked my fingers to the bone trying to get it perfectly clean.  I kept finding dirt in places I never would have thought of.  And much thanks also goes to my in-laws who came and put in many hours helping us clean-- my mother-in-law washed all the windows and I immediately regretted all the years I HADN'T been washing them, because looking through them was so much sparkly-cleaner than I could have imagined!  Seriously, my goal now is to actually wash my windows once a year.  Who knew that made such a difference???

I had heard lots of horror stories about people selling their homes without an agent and using terrible pictures.  And, we'd seen our fair share of terrible pictures when we were sorting through all the foreclosures before we bought our house!  I really wanted our home to NOT look like that.  And I thought the pictures turned out beautifully, so that was a relief.  Also, I think moving half our furniture out of the house was a good idea, even if it was a huge hassle.

Anyway, our house was listed on June 3rd, and then we've had open houses every Sunday since, plus the times when someone was coming and I'd have to frantically tidy up every little thing and take out the trash and make ourselves scarce, regardless of who was napping (or who needed one)...  It was such a relief to move out and not have to play that game any more! 

 We finally got one fairly low offer on the 26th, and had slowly been negotiating with that, and then got a better offer on July 3rd, so we just took that one.  (The first offer was from another real estate agent buying the house for his daughter, and he struck us as being a big pain to work with.  I can't even imagine how awful he would have been over the home inspection!)

So, yes, we have a contract.  I've seen lots of contracts fall through, so I'm not celebrating just yet.  But if this all goes down how it ought to, then I will be very happy with how it all went...  For now, though, we have a bit of waiting to do.

Chicken News

So we brought our chickens to our new place even though the HOA rules specifically prohibit keeping poultry.  We figured they're pretty quiet, and the coop will be located down the hill from our house, so not that many people would even see them, right?

We forgot the fact that we have children and where there are children, there are no secrets.  Especially in this neighborhood, where all the kids run around and play at each other's houses, like we're back in the 1950s or something (which is the coolest thing ever and one of my favorite things about our new place, actually).  Our very first day here, Bentley announced to his new friend that we had chickens.  This friend reported this to his mother, who said, "Chickens are illegal!" which was promptly reported back to Bentley.  And this mom is on the board of the HOA.  It turns out most of the moms in the neighborhood are on the board.

We figured we were screwed and prepared for the worst.

But then... nothing happened.  We weren't celebrating yet or anything-- I figure these things take time-- but honestly our biggest concern was a cat that was getting interested in our back yard.  Even more concerning was when I told Bentley to shoo it away, and watched as Bentley began chasing after it with a shovel!  I put a stop to that pretty quickly.  It's one thing to protect your chickens, it's a whole 'nother thing to go around killing the neighbor's cats!  We came up with the better solution of squirting water at the cat if it ventured into our backyard.  It quickly learned its' lesson.

So a week goes by, and as Craig is rounding up the kids for dinner one night, this same on-the-HOA-board Mom comes out to speak with Craig.  She begins by saying, "I'm not the one who turned you in, by the way!  I don't mind if you have chickens!  I just want this to be a fun neighborhood!"  Craig quickly reassured her that we hadn't thought any such thing about her, but he was pretty confused until she asked, "So what happened?"

"Uhhhh...  Nothing?" Craig replied, "No one's said anything about the chickens so far..."

It took a few more minutes for them to figure out that Kendra had told a different mom that we would need to get rid of our chickens because of this woman.  And the other mom had passed the story on to her.

Clearly we need to stop talking about anything in front of our children.

I saw this same mom at the pool on the 4th of July and quickly apologized for whatever gossip my children were spreading around the neighborhood and thanked her for being so gracious about everything.  I hope after all this we can all still get along.

And maybe even keep the chickens, too!

Not attacking any more cats with shovels would probably be a step in the right direction...

Is a Picture Still Worth a Thousand Words?

In lieu of actually blogging, I'm just going to share this picture, because I love it so much:

Of all her siblings, Colton loves Camille the best.

Unpacking. And Stuff.

I spent the first few days furiously unpacking.  Now I feel like I have all the things I need to function unpacked, and that's wonderful.  The kitchen is mostly set up, my bedroom is good to go.  The kids have most of their clothes all put away and after opening way too many wrong boxes, I finally located Bentley's and Kendra's bedding and got it all washed and made up onto their beds.  Since they'd been in sleeping bags since Phase 1 of the move, that felt like a huge accomplishment to me.

Unfortunately, my garage (and most of the rooms in the house) still have SO MANY boxes left to be unpacked:

Which begs the following questions:

-Why do we have so much stuff?
-Do I really need any of it?
-How much can I get rid of?
-Is any of it worth trying to sell?

These are the things I am pondering.  Having just read the book Stuff is either helping a lot, or not at all, depending on how you feel about hoarding vs. throwing stuff away.

This is what my living room and dining room look like right now (sorry it's not cleaner-- what was I thinking taking a picture when it wasn't clean???):

There's another chair in the other corner closer to the camera that you can't see.  We need to get a couch for this room, but that's going to have to wait for a bit.  I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to have another leaf in our dining room table and still have it fit in the dining room.  The buffet is there, too, and you can still walk all the way around the table.  Such space!  Also, I love the rug that I bought off some friends right before we moved.  Craig and I had said we'd need a rug for that room, but that was just going to be on the (really long) list of things we should buy whenever we have some money.  So it was nice to get that item right away!

We finally got an offer on the house, so that was a relief!  It was a bit lower than we hoped, although it wasn't terrible.  We have countered and they came up some.  We had a few other people look at the house today who seemed to really like it, though, so we'll wait and see if either of them makes an offer before we counter again.  It will be awfully nice to have that all said and done and know what we'll actually be taking away from the old house, money-wise.  It will be even nicer when it's finished and we can stop worrying about things like our Whomping Willow tree (or, as Jen nicknamed it, the Swamping Willow) falling apart in last week's thunder storm and needing to be taken down (suddenly my neighbor is quite certain that it's on our property and not her's).  Things like that are a pain no matter when they happen, but it's much worse when you're living two hours away...

Craig starts his new job tomorrow.  I start my first summer with kids and without Craig.  Wish us both luck.  I think I'm more nervous than Craig!

Making an Impression

We officially moved to Charlottesville last weekend. True to form, we did it in a weird complicated way, loading the moving van up Friday night and unloading it Saturday morning. I could explain all the reasoning behind that decision, but it probably isn't that interesting to anyone other than us, so for now I'll skip that story.

Kendra had her ballet recital back in Manassas that same Saturday at noon, so we knew we would need to hustle back the moment the truck was unloaded.  For her recital, I had decided to put mascara on her. I'm not a believer in little girls wearing make-up, but this was a special occasion, and a lot of the other kids were sporting full-on foundation, eyeliner and blush, so I figured a little mascara would help Kendra's eyes to pop, and that would be fine. (A friend who also had a daughter in the recital told me she briefly considered putting foundation on her little girl, and then realized that the purpose of foundation was to make it look like you had the perfect skin most little kids already have! So she decided it wasn't necessary.)

Anyway, the point of all this is to tell you that I was sitting there brushing mascara onto Kendra's eyelashes while men were still running around putting our (very heavy) furniture into the various rooms where they now belong. I felt a bit ridiculous, and worried that they might think I was a really weird parent who was into Toddlers & Tiaras or something dreadful like that.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I managed to get some in Kendra's eye, and as I sat there apologizing and trying to fix her watering eye, she loudly exclaimed, “That's okay, Mommy-- anything for beauty!”

I wanted to die.

NO, I have NEVER said anything like that. I really hope these men don't pass this one along to their wives....

Hidden Treasure

There is so much I'm supposed to be blogging about.  I never even managed to blog about my Grandma's 100th birthday party (I still will!  I promise!!!).  Kendra's dance recital.  My other kids' portraits from months ago. 

But we're moving on Friday.

And still trying to sell our house (hoping for some offers soon!).

And things are just plain crazy at the moment.

But I have one quick story I have to share or else it will be forgotten in all the craziness.  So here goes...


We've had a two-part move here.  We moved everything we didn't need for a few weeks into the new house three weeks ago, in order to clear out this house.  We were hoping that it would show better then (and I think it does, even if it hasn't sold yet).  So that was exciting, to say the least.  We picked out which furniture we didn't need (the kids' bunk beds, Craig's dresser, Grandmere's desk, the love sack, a couple bookcases, one of our couches...  stuff we use, but could manage without) and I packed a TON of boxes of winter stuff and toys.  And some friends came on a Friday evening and helped us load it all onto a truck.  After they left, Craig and I continued to raid the house for things we could live without.  When we finally finished, that moving truck was STUFFED FULL.

And we went to bed absolutely exhausted.

The next day we drove it to Charlottesville, where people from our new ward came to help us unload, and then we had to race back to Manassas in time for the kids' piano lessons.

Done!


That night, I tried to clear stuff off the dining room table so we'd be able to eat breakfast at it the next morning.  One of the bookcases we'd moved hadn't been completely packed up, so everything on it had been moved to the table, so it was a huge mess now.

As I cleared, I came across a small flat box.  It was about an inch square, and maybe a quarter of an inch thick, so pretty small.  Inside, was a cheap, plastic looking thing with the name for a jeweler in New Jersey on it.  It was sort of like a disk, with sun rays coming out around it, if that makes sense.  I managed to pry it out of the box, and when I turned it over, it looked like there was a ring inside it.  And it looked like it was gold.

Craig called his parents, and sure enough: we'd found his grandmother's wedding ring!  Her initials and his grandfather's were engraved on the inside.  I'm not sure where it had been: inside her desk?  Or the buffet which we'd moved?  Both had belonged to her, so either one is possible.  Mostly, I'm just so relieved that we took the time to really look at it instead of just throwing it away!

It is safely in Craig's mother's keeping now.  Hopefully she'll find a good place to keep it.

But we were glad to have found this little treasure amidst all the chaos!


That's it for now.
Wish us luck selling the house!

Reflecting

I've been doing a lot of driving recently-- trips to Charlottesville, driving a friend to the hospital in Arlington and back, going to the temple in DC, and then just driving all over town for various reasons-- and when I would usually use this time to listen to music, lately I've found myself just cruising around lost in my own thoughts.

When my parents drove me to Provo to begin attending BYU, my Mom told me that from now on, my heart would never be in just one place again.  "You'll always have a part of you wanting to be where you aren't," she told me.  It seemed like a strange thing to say at the time, but I've learned that she was completely right.  My heart has never completely left Seattle, let alone my beloved Bainbridge Island.  I still think back on my BYU days with great fondness and look forward to a time when I can visit again.  And now Manassas will be added to that list.

The thing that's so crazy about Manassas to me is that it is an incredibly transient city.  Some friends and I recently decided to compile a list of all the families we could think of who had moved away.  The list was over 80 families long.  EIGHTY!  That is SO many people!!!  (And I'll include the list at the end of this post so all of you who are on it can see the shout-out to yourself and know that we remember you here!)  So many people I've said good-bye to.

What's even weirder, though, is that when we moved here, Craig and I had every intention of being just as transient.  Our plan was to come here, stay for two years so Craig could get his master's degree, and then move somewhere we could actually afford to live on a teacher's salary (hint: this place does not actually exist.  At least, it didn't in 2006).  We joked that Judges 6:15 was all about our family.  If someone would have told us that we'd stay for 9 years and have five children while we were here, Craig and I would have laughed at the notion.

But the housing crash of 2008 changed a lot of that.  Suddenly it was (barely) affordable, and we were buying a home here.  And suddenly there didn't seem to be any good reason to leave.  In fact, the longer we stayed, the better friends we made and the more comfortable we got, and the happier we were.  As Craig began looking for a new job, we kept saying to ourselves that while we certainly could go anywhere, we sure liked it here and would be happy staying put.

But obviously, that wasn't how things worked out.  And when you find your dream job in a lovely town, where the cost of living is slightly lower but you'll be making more money, you really can't say No just because you're already content where you are.  And the truth is that I am incredibly excited for our next adventure-- I'm excited for Craig's new job.  (I might be more excited for him to earn a few more bucks.)  I'm excited to live in a college town again with some of the perks that entails.   And I'm head-over-heels excited for our new home.

But still, it's incredibly bittersweet leaving Manassas.  Just like my Mom told me, a large part of my heart will forever be here.  And the fact that it will probably buried underneath all the traffic doesn't make it any easier.

Who would have guessed that Manassas would be so good to us?  Who would have guessed that we would come to know so many wonderful people here?  Who would have guessed that we would be so sad to leave?





And now, the list of people we've said good-bye to while we were here, including people who just left (marked with one *) and those slated to leave this summer (marked as **, and including ourselves), and also including a few who left and then came back again (marked with a #)....

Ahrens
Atkinsons
Beall
Blakely
Bott
Bowes**
Bracebridge
Brower

Butler

Cathro

Cardenas (Becky)

Cardenas (DJ)

Conley

Corbett**

Cotrell*

Cotton

Cramer**

Crouch

Curley

Davis*

Dickson

Dong

Duvall**

Dyal

Emfields

Evans**

Fillerup#

Fluckiger

Ford

Gardunia
Gepford
Gilbert
Goodson
Gray

Hale

Hamblin

Hansen (Amanda)

Hansen (LeeAnn)

Hansen (Lindsey)

Hart

Heiner

Hill (Shaunae & David)

Hill (Bonnie & Ashlon)

Holly

Horner

Howard (Jodi)

Kartchner

Kilmer#

Larson

Losee

McKay

Minster

Morgan

Oakeson

Olson

Okada

Parker

Pearson

Pennington

Peterson**

Phelps

Rook#

Ross

Rowe (Lindsay & Chris)

Salas

Sandstrom

Simmonds

Skousen**

Smith (Christine & Taylor)

Smith (Alanna & Craig)**

Spilsbury

Spittle

Stevens

Taylor

Tennant

Turner (/Gilbert)

Voss

Wall

Walquist

Willyerd

Wilson**

Woodruff

Worth

Wright


So many people who have shuffled through this little town of ours...

This'n'That

I have so many stupid things to mention, that I think I'll have to resort to list format here.  Sorry if that's annoying or boring...

-The other day, when we got home from church, a robin was sitting on the stroller which I'd left on the porch (because there was no room anywhere inside the house).  Its' back was to us, and I was surprised that it didn't fly away as we all ambled up onto the porch.  We all looked at it for a moment, and then Bentley reached out and just picked it up.  He set it back down gently and it flew off.  Does anyone else think that's the craziest thing ever????


-And speaking of birds, the chicks are getting HUGE!  They've been in that awkward adolescent state, and are just starting to grow out of it and look like actual chickens.  They're also being kind of stupid and keep knocking their water over, so all their wood chips were wet all the time and, since they're sitting under a heat lamp, the whole thing was starting to smell TERRIBLE.  We decided to just move them outside, and also switch to a water container they can't knock down.  Then Craig decided to list the chicken coop he'd built on Craigslist and someone actually came and bought it for $200!  So then I ran out and bought a smaller one (also for $200).  That may seem like a really dumb thing to do, but this new one is very small and charming and easy to move, so we're hoping it will make our new neighbors less likely to complain about us breaking HOA rules.  Fingers crossed!  During that in-between time while we're showing the house and still living in it, our friends the Losees have agreed to keep our chickens for us.  Where would we be without them???


-Camille discovered her hands and spent quite a bit of time staring at them in fascination.  I love it when babies do that.  (I also always wonder if it's anything like people do when they're high, or if that's just in the movies?)

-Camille is also in that fun stage where just seeing my face makes her get all happy and excited.  Her grin is so big she ends up with slightly crazy-looking eyes.  I haven't managed to get any decent pictures of her smiling though because as soon as I start waving my phone in her face, she stops.  I have to admit-- it's pretty fun to be someone's favorite person like that!

Only slightly crazy eyes...

-Colton is suddenly talking non-stop.  It's super cute, but can also get annoying, especially when I can't figure out what he's saying, so he just keeps repeating himself over and over (with increasing volume), hoping I'll catch on.  I keep reminding myself that he probably sounds like how I sounded on my mission.  A typical conversation with him sounds something like this, "Fish!  Chair!  Fish eat!  Fish eat chair!  Fish!  Chair!  Eat!  Fish eat chair!"  But with me repeating everything along with him or else he gets mad.  At least I didn't get mad at people when they didn't understand my Japanese...


-Bentley is also constantly mad at me, but that's just because he's going through a grumpy stage.  I suspect our impending move isn't helping, but who knows with that kid.  It was bad enough this weekend that we had a family home evening lesson about how to deal with our emotions and we discussed how yelling at mommy was not on the list of appropriate ways to deal with anger.  And then we assigned a punishment for the next time it happens.  We'll see if that helps...  Through all this, I keep telling myself that I'm doing this for his future wife.  Some day, if he's (hopefully) not the kind of guy who yells and screams at her, she'll have me to thank.  Not that she'll ever know that...



-The kitchen is done!!!  There are still a few little things to touch up, but that's the case for every room in this house.  The actual remodel, though, is done.  Here's one picture I took late at night:

It's not a great picture, but you get the idea.  I really like how it turned out-- too bad I'll be leaving it so soon.  And even worse, we're too busy trying to get the rest of the house ready to really cook anything and USE it.  So that's a shame.  But doesn't it look pretty?  I'm not sure how well you can tell here (this picture was taken at night), but the walls are a light grey, and all the trim and cabinets are white.  And I love how that looks.  So calm and clean!



-Speaking of busy, Craig has been working his tail off getting the house cleaned up.  Saturday he tackled the front yard and was edging, mulching, power washing and tidying everything.  Monday was the back yard, and today he was touching up the paint on all the outdoor trim and (at my insistence) painting our porch.  The house is looking so good!  I only hope I can get the inside as clean as he's getting the outside!  I have to admit, though-- every time my kids make any sort of mess, I get a little ill inside wondering how I'll ever be able to keep it spotless once we're showing it.  That feels like quite the Herculean task...

The Verdict

We had our home inspection yesterday.  This is kind of a big deal no matter what, but it was especially important because it was the first time Craig got to actually see our new home.  I knew he would love it, he trusted me he would love it, but we were both pretty anxious for him to finally see it, walk around inside it, and figure out if he did, in fact, love it.

So we were a tiny bit keyed up about the whole thing.  Craig couldn't even sleep the night before, he was so nervous. 

Craig had to stay in Charlottesville after the inspection to interview staff members, so we took separate cars there.  Craig got there a few minutes before me, and we talked on the phone as he was approaching it, giving me the play-by-play of his impressions of the place.  "Yup, driving by the jail right now...  Lovely barbed wire...  Ooh, I like the HOA pool, even if it is a little small...  Nice neighborhood, gorgeous view of tree-covered hills..."  Stuff like that.  Then he actually arrived and the home inspector and the real estate agent were there, so he got off the phone.

When I got there five minutes later, he greeted me with a big grin and a kiss on the cheek.  "You did really good finding this house," he told me.  "The rooms are a little smaller than I thought they would be, but I really like it."  (I wasn't lying when I blogged that the pictures made it look bigger than it really is!)  As he went upstairs with the inspector and got to see the plethora of bedrooms, the grin got wider and wider.

It took well over an hour before he finally made it to the basement (we had a very thorough inspector, which is a good thing!).  And the finished basement blew him away.  The rec room down there is really big-- it's the one room the photos didn't lie about.  And there's another room with a door to the outside that we have decided will be his workshop, and that was really the only thing he thought the house was missing.  Craig has declared himself officially sold on the house.  (Good thing since we already have a ratified contract!)

Last night, Craig again found himself unable to sleep.  But this time it was because he was so excited about our new house.

I knew he would love it.  I totally knew it.

But it's still a relief to be so right.