That Lovely Third Trimester

I've got about 6 weeks left for this pregnancy, give or take.  And while I have pretty easy pregnancies, there are still plenty of times where I certainly don't feel my best.  So I figured I should document the downsides of pregnancy for me, even though this will doubtless be used against me by Craig the next time I get baby hungry.  So here are the annoying pregnancy symptoms I experience:


-First of all, I'm huge.  Seriously, I gain SO much weight EVERY single time.  It's ridiculous.  Every time I have some vague notion that this time will be different, but it's always the same fifty pounds every go-around.  You know it's bad when your goal is to NOT go over 200 lbs...  (With Colton it was especially disappointing because I started out in SUCH great shape, and I kept exercising until I was around 18 weeks, so I really thought this might be the time I pulled off a skinny pregnancy.  Nope.  Not only did I get just as fat as always, I never even lost the baby weight after him!)

-Heartburn.  Sure, it's not exactly the end of the world, but when it wakes you up in the middle of the night, it's pretty gross.  They say heartburn means your baby will have more hair, but clearly that hasn't work for Ryder or Colton.  I'm not holding my breath for this one, either.  The only plus side is that they make some pretty tasty Tums these days, but I still don't like chewing them up when I've just brushed my teeth-- blech.

-Braxton-Hicks contractions.  These don't hurt at all, but they always stop me in my tracks and make me feel like I'm about to have an accident.  Not a good feeling.

-Round ligament syndrome.  I don't have it too bad, and if I sleep with a pillow between my knees it usually doesn't bother me at all.  But it can be painful when it does hit.

-Breathlessness.  This isn't a very big deal, but when I carry a laundry basket up the stairs while on the phone and realize that I am now panting into the receiver, it's a bit embarrassing.  I want to holler, "I used to exercise!  I used to be in great shape!  Really!"  But I'm breathing too heavy to bother...

-Getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.  I managed to avoid this for most of my second trimester, which was both unusual and awesome.  But as soon as I hit 30 weeks, I had to get up every three hours like clockwork.  It gets tiring, not ever sleeping through the night.

-Messed up mucus membranes, so I can never breathe through my nose.  This is getting old.  What I would give to be able to NOT sleep with my mouth falling open!

-And related to the above, constant bloody noses.  The winter weather exacerbates this, and it's not uncommon for me to have a couple bloody noses in a day.  Charming, right?  I had one that was really bad, and Ryder happened to wander into the room in the middle of it.  He sat calmly watching me spout blood for a minute before announcing, "I'm going to get you a bucket."  He's a good helper!

-And of course, it's just hard to move very much.  When I first stand up after a long while of sitting or laying down, I'm all stiff for a moment and have to hobble around like I'm about 80 years old.  Getting up off the ground is a bit of an ordeal.  And trying to squat or kneel down to get the kids' shoes and socks on and stuff like that is just so. much. work.  It doesn't help that they think it's fun to fight me and run away.  If I were a meaner person, I'd just make them go outside barefoot.  But in this weather, they'd probably lose a couple toes, so it's not really an option.


So there you go!  I realize that compared to getting hemorrhoids or being put on bedrest, these are very minor things.  But I'm still looking forward to the day when-- in addition to getting to meet my sweet new baby-- these won't be an issue.  Six weeks and counting!