Serving a Purpose

I have a vague recollection of refusing to eat my dinner to the point that my Dad finally got angry and sent me to my room.  This happened before my family moved to Bainbridge, so I must have been about four years old.  I sat in my room (in my memory, I was sitting in the dark, although it's very likely that I made that up) until my mother came in with a flashlight and looked down my throat.  Whatever she saw alarmed her enough that she made my Dad take me to the hospital that very night. 

The doctor looked at my throat and determined that my tonsils were indeed enlarged, but he felt they weren't bad enough for a tonsillectomy.  He took off his glove, blew it up like a balloon, and drew a face on it-- the thumb becoming a nose, the fingers crazy hair-- and gave it to me.  I was delighted with my present and went home with my tonsils still intact, ready to show off my balloon to my sisters.  And I assume that my Dad got to feel bad about being so mean to me, something every kid longs for.

I've regretted that doctor's decision ever since.  My tonsils are just huge, nearly the size of golf balls.  And they're prone to getting these nasty little gunky things stuck between them and the wall of my mouth.  Every few weeks, I have to shine a flashlight into the back of my mouth and swipe around to dislodge them.  It leaves me gagging and spitting, while Craig hollers out reminders me that bulimia is not cool.  (Ha ha, Craig.)

Anyway, after my most recent bout of poking and gagging, I was telling Craig that I sure wished I could have my tonsils removed already.  The only purpose they seem to serve is annoying me.  I once begged a BYU doctor to do it, but he just laughed and said there was no way my student health insurance would ever cover it.

I googled those gross things (tonsilloliths or "tonsil stones," but don't look them up-- they're even bigger and grosser on-line!) which led to me googling tonsils in general.  And it turns out that tonsils actually DO serve a purpose! "As part of the immune system, the tonsils fight infection; they are first line of defense in the throat."  "A main function of the tonsils is to trap germs (bacteria and viruses) which you may breathe in.  Proteins called antibodies produced by the immune cells in the tonsils help to kill germs and help to prevent throat and lung infections."

That was especially interesting to learn because I've noticed over the years that one of my superpowers is that I hardly ever get sick.  Sure, I'll get the occasional cold.  And I'm just enough of a hypochondriac that any time there's a tickle in my throat I gear up for something awful to hit me.  But usually it just fades away and I'm fine.  When you consider just how much my kids like to sneeze and cough on me every time they're sick (and between the five of them, someone always seems to have a runny nose or something), it really is kind of remarkable how healthy I am.  All this time I've been cursing them, but my enormous, sometimes gross tonsils are probably why I'm so healthy!

Sorry, tonsils, that I wanted you cut out of the back of my throat!  I guess we can keep working together after all!