Isaiah

*Kudos to alert reader Jen for noticing my teaser in a previous post!  Here's our big news finally!

When I was visiting with my family, several people asked what was going on with fostering and I told them it didn't really seem like it was happening.  People Places had told us they try to limit homes to five children, and since we already HAVE five children, we were at the bottom of their list.  Which was fine with me.  I slowly started to get rid of some of my baby things-- the diaper bag got tossed, clothing that wasn't in particularly good shape anyway got thrown out.

So, naturally, a week ago Tuesday I got the call, nearly a year after completing our training.

There were two brothers, ages 4 and 2, who had been placed with a foster mom and she was quitting after having them for one day.  In her notes, she underlined that they were feral.  Would we like one of them?  We said we'd take the 2-year-old, mostly because they're both nonverbal and not potty trained, and that felt more manageable in a 2-year-old.

People Places brought us Isaiah the very next morning and he's been with us for nearly two weeks now.

And it has been a RIDE!

Trying to slide out of my arms-- he does this a lot

I was a little judgey about the first foster mom quitting so quickly, but just having Isaiah has been hard enough, I can't imagine doing this with an equally challenging 4-year-old, also.  I can't even tell you how many times I've burst into tears over all this.

Isaiah is very sweet, but he's also very difficult.  I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's hard to explain.  The first few days here, if we were ever in a room with the door shut, he would freak out and be absolutely DESperate to get out of that room.  I would sit or stand in front of the door, and it would be like wrestling an octopus trying to keep him in the room.  Plus, he tended to drool when upset, so not only would he be pulling my hair out, he'd also be drooling all over me, which was just gross.

Playing on the swings during the other kids' swim practice (and then napping in the car)

But as awful as that is, I also appreciated that he wasn't trying to hurt me-- there was no punching or biting involved.  He just. wanted. OUT.

In the short time we've had him, he's made huge progress.  He'll go into his room and close the door and play by himself for a little bit.  He'll let me read books to him (he even has a book, Ten Little Ladybugs, that he loves!).  He's sleeping better, although it can still take three hours to settle him down (especially if he took a long nap that day), so that's awful.  But even then, he isn't wild that whole time, he just isn't sleeping and he needs us to sit with him until he's asleep.  Otherwise he'll leave the room.  (And one of the things about foster kids is that you can NOT lock them in a room, so my normal solution for this annoying toddler trait is out.)  

But he's SOOOO SWEET when he's asleep!

He now looks at me and smiles and laughs and we can play little games together.  The first couple days here, I don't think he looked at me once, and if he needed something, he either climbed on the counter to get it (he managed to grab and eat three bananas that first day before I finally moved them to the top of the pantry!) or tried to get my kids to help him out.  He's slowly learning that Craig and I are safe and helpful.

He's still a 2-year-old, so he's going to be a lot of work even on his best days.  But this is changing to more normal 2-year-old behavior and less of wild-kid-behavior, if that makes sense.  

Just cuddling up to Dad's croc, as one does!

We have no idea how long he'll be with us, but I think it will be a long time.  Maybe around a year?  I tell myself that to get geared up for the long haul, but then I feel overwhelmed and tell myself instead that maybe a grandma or other caretaker will turn up?  Perhaps?  But it's not looking too likely, honestly.  The not knowing is really hard, but I suspect if you told me I'd for sure have him for a year that would ALSO be hard, so maybe not knowing is the softer answer for now...

The kids have handled all this beautifully, and that's probably my favorite part about all this.  Camille struggled the first couple days (she kept referring to Isaiah as "the foster kid" and I had to have a chat with her about how that wasn't very kind), but now she just loves him and is always telling me how happy she is that he's staying with us.  And without their help, I have no idea how I would ever manage to take a shower or accomplish anything, so I'm truly grateful for their help.

I'm sure I'll have lots more to say and MANY more pictures to post in the weeks (and months?) to come.  Feel free to ask any questions and I'll answer them in a future post!