This post is going to come across as really whiny. I'm not actually apologizing for that-- I just want you to know that yes, I realize I'm being whiny. But I feel justified enough to not care.
Bentley's school is considered a "walking school," which means that there are only a couple buses provided for the kids who live the farthest away, and everyone else is expected to walk their kid to school. I actually really like this, especially when the weather is agreeable. We load Ryder into the stroller and enjoy a nice little walk to and from the school twice a day. It took Kendra a while to be able to handle that much walking with the minimum of whining, but she does fairly well these days and-- especially with the spring weather we've been having-- I really like this excuse to get outside with my kids.
But in the last few months, Kendra has become best friends with a woman, Wanda, who lives exactly halfway between us and the school. Wanda is pleasant. She takes her granddaughter and two neighbor girls to school and usually picks them up. But let's face it-- all I know about Wanda is that she walks with these girls and lives near me. Other than that, she is a complete stranger. And somehow this stranger has caught on to Kendra's insatiable need for love.
Kendra really is a love sponge. She will soak up any hugs, any kisses, any attention you're willing to give her. It's one of those traits that is both sweet and worrisome to a parent: I'm glad she's so friendly, and I love that she's always happy to snuggle with me and Daddy. But I also worry that she's a little too friendly too quickly to too many people. And because Wanda is willing to give Kendra that affection, Kendra now LOVES Wanda. The minute she sees Wanda, she runs up to her, throws her arms around her neck and lets Wanda give her kisses until they are ready to resume their walk, now holding hands.
And here's the thing: I really hate this. I hate the whole situation. And the longer it goes on, the more it makes me grate my teeth in annoyance. I want Wanda to go away. I want to tell her that she is NOT Kendra's grandmother (Kendra already has two wonderful grandmothers who adore her, thank you very much). That, despite all evidence to the contrary, Kendra gets plenty of love and affection at home. And that I don't like that she is essentially teaching my child that it's a good idea to hug strangers. And I don't like a stranger hugging and kissing my girl! A few months ago when Kendra and Ryder both had pneumonia, Ryder got sick just a few days after Wanda had been kissing Kendra and then explaining to me that she had bronchitis! She assured me that she wasn't contagious, but it still seemed really obnoxious. The whole thing left me seething.
Just this Tuesday, Craig came home early from work, so we all went to pick up Bentley together. This is exactly the kind of family together time that I love. But then on the walk home, we were flooded with Wanda and her brood, meaning that I was busy pushing my stroller through four circling kids-- only one of whom was mine-- and trying desperately to not run any of them over, a process which actually made me feel slightly claustrophobic and panicky. Meanwhile, Craig was way behind me, trying to hold one of Kendra's hands while Wanda held the other. This is not the family time I was looking forward to.
Yes, I sound like a grouchy old coot. But it's gotten to the point where I look ahead and dread seeing this woman leaving her house, watching for us, and then waiting to accompany us to school. Yes, I know some of you are probably thinking that I should be thankful to have such nice neighbors. I don't want to hear it. This is what I want: tell me how I can get this woman out of my life.
Please?
9 comments:
Just start being an over zealous "missionary" and telling Wanda all about the Gospel...maybe some Articles of Faith, Word of Wisdom, etc. Make sure Kendra adds her two cents about the plan of salvation or Joseph Smith's first vision, or even extend an invitation to church. Wanda will either want to know more (which would be a good thing and maybe make her less annoying) or she'll start distancing herself from the crazy "Mormons".
One option is to try to get to know Wanda. Talk with her while you're walking to and from school and make it so she's no longer a stranger. My siblings and I had a couple who were "grandparents" to us and it was wonderful. Yes, we had awesome grandparents already and they had amazing grandkids. But we needed someone who was a little closer geographically and could be involved in our lives on a more daily basis.
Another option, more what you were asking for: are there other routes you could take to walk to school? If you really don't want to get to know this woman, or get to know her and aren't impressed then you could try out some more circuitous walking routes. Especially if you're wanting to have family time. And on the days you're wanting family time (even if that means just you and the kids) on the way home you could try letting Wanda know that. Tell her on the way to school that you're going to go have some family time and so they needn't wait for you. I would hope she'd understand that.
omg, this is an impossible dilemma.
Ok, so my initial ideas ranged from having a private chat with this woman being like, "hey, so.. it makes me a little uncomfortable when _____" but maybe additional confrontation with this stranger-woman would just make it worse/more annoying.
Then i thought you could just try to give a super cold shoulder-- crossing the street by her house... flipping her off? ha.
THEN i thought.. what if you talked to Kendra and gave Wanda the cold shoulder via her Then when Kendra doesn't rush into Wanda's arms you can play the fool and be like, "kids!" and haul-a to school.
And then I read the other suggestions and maybe talking to her saying I just want some family time, you needn't wait sounds pretty good and more adult. But still.. confrontations, blah.
Good luck! This is a pickle indeed.
Oh man. I'm a confrontation chicken in situations like this, so I'd probably end up lying to my kids/Wanda about needing to get to school earlier/later, just so we won't be walking at the same time...(but you really shouldn't have to be lying AND adjusting YOUR schedule just to avoid an annoying neighbor.)
Is the school year almost over yet? Maybe Kendra won't like Wanda by the Fall? Maybe Wanda will move by then? I have no ideas. But I'm totally annoyed with her too. I'm sorry.
Only thing I can think of is to reiterate (as I'm sure you have) to Kendra that kissing and hugging and holding hands simply isn't okay to do with adults that are not family. Wanda has got away with it for this long but it's time to reinstate the rule. Just smiles and waves but no touching. If Wanda asks, tell her it's "Stranger Danger" awareness week. As far as kids are concerned, acquaintances are strangers. "I know you'll understand, Wanda. *smiles*"
Haha, I was thinking along the same lines as the first commenter - drive her away with the Gospel! Unfortunately this could backfire and she could join the ward and kiss all our children.
I am unfortunately like this to so many people in my life. I mostly just want to be left alone, no matter how friendly and kind the other person is.
I can only think of fake or inappropriate suggestions, so I'll leave you with nothing valuable.
I like Anna's suggestions.
I like Jen Evans' comment. :D
keep us posted!
That's a hard one. It's really tough when people are trying to be friendly and nice, but are in fact messing up what you're trying to get done. I wish I had some good suggestions for you. I feel like changing your route is probably the easiest thing to do, but I'm not sure if there is a good way to change your route without going way out of the way. If I come up with any great ideas, I'll let you know!
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