Cool

This is me enjoying stuff that won't happen in a few years:


1) A few weeks ago, Bentley had to say the closing prayer in primary. I told him I would come and be there for him, just in case he needed my help. So I got there way too early and stood quietly in the back waiting until it was time for closing exercises. Shortly after that, Bentley turned around and saw me and proceeded to smile and wave at me as if my showing up were the most exciting thing he'd ever experienced in his young life. It made my day.

2) All day today, Craig has been putting up drywall in the rec room. He covered up the doorway to the laundry room, and then cut the hole for the door. When he had finished doing this, Bentley exclaimed, "Oh, wow, Daddy, you made Mommy's door for her! You can do ANYTHING!" Daddy = Superman. I love it.

3) Yesterday, I wore my black, knee-high boots to church. Craig wasn't a fan of the boots, but Kendra patted them gently and said that she liked them. I had to leave early, so Craig got the kids all dressed after I had left. Apparently Kendra dragged Bentley's large rubber fireman's boots out of the coat closet and wanted to wear boots, too. Just like Mommy.


I'm pretty sure nothing like this will happen once the kids are old enough to be embarrassed by us. So this is me savoring the brief time when Bentley and Kendra think that Craig and I are really cool.

Hm.

Does anyone else find it vaguely creepy when people you don't know and who don't have a profile picture try to add you as their friend on facebook?

I'm pretty sure I've never known a James Hornor in my life... Right?

So the real question, then: is this just spam, or is some poor guy named James Hornor dreadfully confused?

Missed

When I got home from Seattle, Craig informed me that not only had he and the kids missed me, the house had missed me, too!

"It was weird," he explained, "the dishes weren't clean when I came home, the laundry didn't just do itself and get put away. Weird, huh?"

It's nice to be appreciated. And missed a little.

It's good to be home, too, although I wish I could have somehow wrapped up my entire family (Hogans, Pooleys, pregnant sisters, spouses, and everybody!) and brought them all home with me. That would have made home much more home. A bit crowded, I suppose, but we would have managed somehow.



Now that I'm talking about it, I have to say that this last weekend was jam packed with way too many emotions for me. So much of it was so sad, and I cried more during those two days than I have in years. But at the same time it was really nice to be with all my sisters again. And I'll admit-- it was kind of nice to have a break from the kids. This was my first time being away from both of them overnight. It's a weird feeling to be able to walk out the door without checking everyone's shoes and jackets and extra diapers and carrying small people with me everywhere I go. It was very liberating. But I also missed them terribly. I missed Craig even more-- probably because he's loads more fun than the kids, but without any of the work! It was good to be with the Hogans again, too, but every time I saw any women who were tall with shorter hair, I would think for a split second that it was Janine, and then my heart would have to do that sad awful twist of realization. That was hard every time. I imagine that feeling won't go away any time soon.

I think my favorite quote from the entire weekend was Jeff's comment that it didn't feel like family was here until the Bentleys arrived. I'm glad we're the Hogans extra family, and I'm glad we could be there for them. I hope we can continue to be there for them.

It's good to be surrounded by family, for sad occasions and happy ones.

Return

Yesterday afternoon I looked out the window and saw the groundhog! I hadn't seen her all winter and was starting to worry. And then in the evening, I spotted two deer out feeding in the woods. It's good to know that the warm weather is bringing all my little wildlife friends back. So I think the only animal I'm still missing is our fox... I feel sort of like Snow White or possibly Sleeping Beauty. I might have to start wandering around the backyard singing!

For Janine

Janine, my honorary back-up auxiliary mom, passed away last night in her sleep. I've been crying off and on all day as I've thought about Janine and remembered her and missed her. The world is not as lovely a place as it was, now that Janine is no longer with us.

Janine was encouraging in ways I never would have thought of. She got excited once listening to my Mom whistle; she was so impressed with how well my Mom could carry a tune whistling. When I was in high school, I had to write a critique of a poem. I did just that and acknowledged that I felt the poem had some flaws. My teacher berated me, writing on my essay, "Don't get above yourself. The woman who wrote this poem knows a lot more about literature than you do." I took that as my due, but Janine was irate. "That man probably never had an original thought of his own, that's why he needs to tear yours down!" Looking back now, I am forced to agree with Janine. What high school teacher would say something like that to a student?

My stories of Janine continue. In college, I had a Shakespeare professor who would award extra credit for any sonnets we wrote. I actually enjoy writing sonnets, so I wrote several for the class, one of which was about the Kenneth Starr report and was pretty dang funny, for being in perfect iambic pentameter. My professor simply noted that my sonnet, "Profaned the tradition of sonnets." When I complained of this in an email to Janine, she responded, "Write more sonnets that profane the tradition."

That's still good advice.

And Janine always gave excellent advice. Her number one rule was that whatever keeps you sane is the most important thing. "The people in your life, your husband and your children, need a wife and mother who is sane. It doesn't matter what else is going on, if you're not sane, you can't do any good. You have to stay sane, and whatever keeps you sane is what matters." This could be applied to how one cooked meals for the family, cleaned house, played with the kids. Whatever. I will always strive to live by this rule.

Janine saw the hand of God in everything in her life. And when she couldn't see the hand of God, she prayed and studied her scriptures and pondered until she could. Janine saw miracles in simple things like her son getting to watch a bit of the same Mariner's game that she had attended. (He was on his mission and an investigator took him to the Ichiro Museum; he wasn't breaking any rules.) It meant that even though her son was far away, he was still connected to her and Heavenly Father knew that and honored their relationship. It meant that even the Pacific Ocean couldn't divide her from her family. It meant that she hadn't really sacrificed her son when she had allowed him to leave and serve the Lord.

When I was able to break away from an abusive relationship and immediately found Craig, Janine pointed out the tremendous miracle that had occurred in my life. Later on as she waited patiently for miracles in her own life, she would chant to herself, "Alanna & Craig. Alanna & Craig" to remind herself that God was indeed a God of miracles and that He wouldn't let her down. And He didn't. There were so many miracles in Janine's life. She saw her own daughter recover from what had seemed like insurmountable health problems. She was able to hold on long enough to see both her children married to wonderful people and rest knowing that they would be well taken care of. Even a few weeks ago when she was able to regain some strength for a short time, she saw the miracle.

I have been missing the emails Janine used to send me for a long time, but now I just miss her. But even in my sorrow, I have to admit that I'm happy that Janine can finally breathe. Her lungs had never worked well after rounds of pneumonia as a child left scar tissue on them. She'd had a difficult time breathing as early as 2004, and from what I understand, lung problems such as these make a person feel like they are drowning all the time. There's a part of me that is very grateful that Janine no longer has to fight off the panic as she struggles to breathe. So I'm happy for Janine. But I am so sad for myself and for her family and for the rest of my own family, and for the rest of the world, too. The world is not as lovely a place as it was, now that Janine is no longer with us.

Thank you for being the best back up mom anyone could ask for, Janine. Thank you for all the lessons, for all the advice, for all the encouragement. Thank you for helping me to see the miracles. I love you. And I miss you. We all do.

Picture Time

This is my usual hodgepodge post full of pictures, so bear with me through all the randomness here:

This is from a couple weeks ago when I was sick. I had a fever and just couldn't get warm enough, so Craig finally bundled me up on the couch. The kids quickly joined in the fun and we watched a movie together while Craig made French toast for dinner. It's good to be snuggled when you're sick...

This is Kendra eating leftover birthday cake. I just liked how it looked like she had a goatee from the frosting.
I think very few girls can pull off this look as well as Kendra does.

Kendra was really excited to snuggle with Daddy while he napped. She kept waving her sippy cup in the air just right so that it looked like she was giving Craig a bottle. It made me laugh. I'm not sure Craig even knew she was there or that I was photographing the entire thing...

Meanwhile, Bentley was sitting nearby, enjoying some reading time.
(Richard Scarry's Mysteries. Good stuff for little boys!)

Here you can see the whole party.

I've already mentioned my happy little crocuses. Now you can see them!

They're all over in the woods behind our house, too. So pretty!

Yes, I love that they're purple.


Bentley still helping Craig with the rec room.


This is what it all looks like right now. Notice that the wall is built and some insulation has been added.
Next step will be the drywall!


Contemplating all the work still left to go, Craig and Bentley look oddly depressed.
(This picture is worth clicking on so you can see it big. They have the exact same blank looks on their faces!)


Last night I decided it was high time I used my Little Dipper, which came free with my crock pot.
Who doesn't love chocolate fondue on a Friday night?


Yes, it was as good as it looked. Heaven.

It's amazing how many things you can find to dip in chocolate when the opportunity presents itself! Happy day!

That's all for now, folks!

Screen Woes

Last year in April, we bought new windows and a sliding door for our living room. The door was installed during Memorial Day weekend, but then Craig got busy with the bathroom remodel and the windows sat untouched until September (possibly October?), when Craig finally found time to install them, too. It was then that we noticed that we hadn't gotten the screens for these new windows! We had assumed they were in the box, but they were in fact patiently waiting somewhere in the back rooms of Lowe's. Fortunately, despite how long we took to ask for them, they were still there, just a little dusty. So in December Craig finally got around to putting in one screen, and it was then that he discovered that the other one was broken! (I guess that's what happens when it sits around in the back rooms of Lowes for too long...)

So Craig took it back and ordered another one. Screen #2 arrived and sat around forgotten in the rec room until we began construction there. Then we decided the screen would be safest if we went ahead and installed it. And that's when we realized that it didn't fit the window. It was about half an inch too wide. D'oh.

So Craig went back to Lowe's. Again. This time, rather than measuring the window, we just gave them the serial number on the window and let Pella figure out. Screen #3 arrived via FedEx today. Craig was worried the minute he saw the box, which was suspiciously large. Unlike the window right next to it, which is a half-screen, Screen #3 is a full screen. And it also. doesn't. fit. The width is correct, but it's too tall by about an inch. This is why it takes us so long to get anything done around the house.

Okay, okay. So I can admit that the fact that it's the wrong size is probably for the best, because in all honesty we'd rather order a fourth screen than have mismatched screens. But it's still all kinds of ridiculous.

Craig called Pella and explained the problem. Pella told us to go ahead and keep the screen we currently have and they'll have a fourth one made and shipped to us soon. Apparently it's more cost-effective for us to just throw it away than to bother FedExing it back to Pella. (Since it was packed in a huge wooden crate, this doesn't surprise me very much.) So now we're wondering what to do with a huge, very nice screen that doesn't fit any of our windows.

Bentley had the best suggestion. "Let's put it outside and forget about it."

Amen, brother.

Career

It's weird being married to a teacher. I don't have any regrets about Craig's choice in careers, but it has been interesting to me as we experience both the obvious and more subtle pros and cons of the public school system. The biggies are that Craig gets nice vacation time in the spring and summer, but then his salary also reflects it.

And I keep discovering new things that I didn't really see coming. For example, lots of my friends' husbands have flexible hours: they can work whenever they want, provided they put in their 40 hours each week. These people often go to work any time between nine and ten in the morning. I can't even imagine such a luxury! Craig leaves every morning at 6:30am. Sleeping in is not an option. Unless, of course, it snows. Then all bets are off. School will usually either be delayed or canceled if there's even a strong forecast of snow. (Or sometimes just because there is still snow on the ground from five days before.) And it's once again awesome being married to a teacher.

On another note, Craig definitely gets a lot of vacation time (July and half of August, and on a good year two weeks during Christmas!). And there's something really fun about summer still being a time for vacation-- it's like we never have to fully grow up. But unlike other jobs, he doesn't get to choose when he gets that vacation time. He can't take two weeks off in March just because that sounds like a good time to take a vacation (or because the rest of his family is taking a vacation then). He has to take what the school board has already agreed on.

But yesterday, Craig's job as a teacher totally rocked. His school's principal recommended Craig to his wife, so Craig has been making a couple short movies for her. This has been both very complimentary to Craig and also makes for a nice little supplement to his income. But yesterday she needed him to film from 11:00 to 2:00. Since her husband is Craig's boss, Craig didn't have any trouble getting the time off work (and he could even be honest about why he wanted the time off!). So he got to teach one class, use his prep period, and then leave early. He filmed, got paid (in addition to whatever he was still making at his real job, even though he wasn't there), and got home by 2:10, five minutes before school lets out.

I live for days like that.

Phone Update

No purchases in the cell phone department yet. We spent about 45 minutes browsing in the store before the good will of our children was all used up, and then I forced us to leave. Craig doesn't seem to think it's a problem if the kids run around being crazy in public, but I can't handle it.

But here's the phone that I've got my eye on:


Have I mentioned before that I really like purple? And I think the flowers are cute. It's one of those phones with a full keyboard, which will be completely wasted on me since I hardly ever send text messages. But it does have a camera and camcorder, which I have enjoyed in my current phone. And it's just so dang cute!

Craig is still trying to figure out how to convince me to let him get an iPhone. Unfortunately for his calculating, he didn't realize that if he got one, I wanted to have one, too. He hadn't realized that I also like them. I'm just practical enough to not obsessively talk/think about what I know I can't have. So now any time I want anything, he tells me that I can have it if he can have an iPhone. (So far, this has meant lunch at Panera or making a yummy-looking chocolate and peanut butter fondue. I may be blonde, but I'm pretty sure that these would be bad deals...)

Ah, compromise. The stuff of marriages!

What Would Freud Say?

I just remembered that in some part of my dream last night, I saw how someone had loaded their dishwasher and felt terribly guilty for not cramming as many dishes into mine. Apparently I feel guilt over incredibly stupid things.


Also, Craig has decided that we should go cell phone shopping today, and apparently this also has me stressed out, since the majority of my dreams involved me finding really lame phones that would be free, but I didn't want them. You'd think I would be stressed out about Wednesday's Relief Society Birthday dinner or something a little more real, but no-- my subconscious chooses to dwell on cell phones and dishwashers. On the other hand, every time we've gone cell phone shopping, it's ended with Craig yelling at the Sprint people, so maybe my subconscious has good reason to be worried about this. Craig is, after all, very mild-mannered, so any time you've got him shouting at people, it's cause for concern.

However, poor Craig has had the same phone since we got married. That's nearly five years old now. In cell phones years, I think that would be like being 85 or something. His students actually take time to make fun of it to each other!
And recently it's begun doing odd things like flashing the inside lights while it's charging. I'm not sure if this is the equivalent to having seizures or running naked up and down the halls of the old folk's home, but either way I think it's probably a bad sign. So while I can't say that I'm looking forward to doing this, I also have to admit that it's way past time.

My phone looks like this, and I quite like it:
(Although I did change the clock to a digital one; I love how the clock face looks, but I am incredibly slow at telling time, and that's just embarrassing. So naturally, rather than practicing, I switched to digital.) My phone is nearly three years old, which is more like being in your 40s. Sure, it's been around; no high schooler is going to think it's sexy, but there's still plenty of good life left in it. I'm not really anxious to get a new phone, but Craig is tired of us not renewing our contract with Sprint at the same time together. Instead, we keep leapfrogging over one another's contracts, as he put it. He's hoping that if we renew together, by the time these two years are up, iPhones will have magically become cheaper and then he'll be able to persuade me to buy him one.

I'll let him hold on to that dream for now.

In the meantime, wish us luck cell phone shopping! Maybe third time's a charm and this will be the time that Craig isn't forced to yell at anyone.

It could happen, right?

Spring

The crocuses are up and blooming. They are, once again, scattered all throughout the lawn in a manner which is undoubtedly ridiculous. But these small purple emblems of hope make me so happy that I don't think I can allow Craig to attack them with weedkiller. Not this year, at least. Since I'm already looking down, it's easy to also notice the tiny green shoots coming up, too-- daffodils, blue bells, and probably some tulips, if memory serves. I'm so lucky to have bought a home that had perennials tucked away throughout the yard, since I have no idea when I would have gotten around to planting them myself. Birds have been singing these past few mornings: a few chirps outside my window to make me smile, and then they fly somewhere else so I can go back to sleep. They know how to make me happy. The sky is blue and the world is beginning to thaw. The snow is nearly gone, except for a few shady patches here and there.

My soul begins to unfurl.

Etiquette, Part II

Well, Shaun's idea clearly wins. Sorry, Shaun-- I should have thought of a prize or something! But you've definitely earned my respect for having a great idea. Does that make you feel good, at least?

So for those of you who didn't read my last post or the ensuing comments, Shaun's idea was that whoever called in the first place gets to call back if the call gets dropped.

Now here's the most important part of the plan. Everyone: spread this idea to everyone you know. Eventually it will become common courtesy, and we can finally say good-bye to those annoying games of cell phone voicemail tag.

Go! Do it! Spread the word!

The New Etiquette

I was talking to my sister on the phone the other day when the call suddenly got dropped. This isn't terribly unusual, and we immediately did what everyone does when they realize that their dialogue has become suspiciously one-sided: we called each other back, got each other's voicemail, tried once more, and then we both stopped and waited for the other one to call. I think it took five minutes before we were actually talking again, and by then we'd forgotten what it was we'd been talking about!

I cannot even count how many times this has happened. And it's always the same. So once we did finally manage to reconnect, Natalie and I decided that there needs to be a rule of etiquette governing who should call the other one back so we wouldn't have to play phone tag with each other's voicemail. These were the ideas we came up with, and the flaws that I'm worried about in each one:

a) Whoever's name comes alphabetically should call back, based on first names. My only problem with this idea is that, as an "Alanna," I'll end up doing most of the calling. But that's not the end of the world.

b) Same idea, but let's use last names. This could get confusing if you're talking to family members who have the same last name, though.

c) Whoever was responsible for the call being dropped calls back. Can you usually tell if you're cell phone dropped it or if it was on the other line?

Let me know which one has your vote or if you have a better idea!!! Then we'll pass the new rule along to everyone we know!